Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To think baby showers should only be for your first baby?

19 replies

Makeupbabes · 04/06/2016 18:22

I'm 21 weeks pregnant with my second child & I had a baby shower with my first which was lovely (I get when people say they're annoying & cheesy though) but I really enjoyed mine. I definitely don't want one for this baby as I feel it's better suited for a first time Mum, going into the unknown with a new baby.. Does anyone else think the same?

OP posts:

Kerberos · 04/06/2016 18:31

Yep. I agree with you.

TheSparrowhawk · 04/06/2016 18:33

You don't want a baby shower for your second baby, other people might want one. Why would you even care?

MazzleDazzle · 04/06/2016 18:36

I didn't have one for my first 2 pregnancies, but I did for my 3rd! It was a surprise .

I know other mums that were the same, probably because she weren't a 'thing' when we were pregnant first time round.

Babymouse · 04/06/2016 18:36

The baby shower with tons of gifts - once. Parties to celebrate a new/coming arrival (with no gifts) - as many as you like. ;)

Mouikey · 04/06/2016 18:36

Personally I feel this is an American tradition that is sneaking over here! Sounds fun, but (and at 32 weeks preggers myself) I think its a bit off to expect people to buy things and gifts and rely on this... this seems to be the main reason that the Americans have them (they have gift registries and the like). People keep telling me that we will have lots bought for us when baby arrives, but I'm not expecting it!

I'm not up for having one, happy to just hang out with my friends and enjoy their company!

Bearpeep · 04/06/2016 18:38

We have baby showers in my circle of friends, always done as a surprise and at someone's house. We all chip in £10 towards food and a joint gift then spend a few hours playing games and nattering, it's lovely.

VillageFete · 04/06/2016 19:57

I never had one for my first (were they the done thing 7 years ago? Don't think they were) I'm having fertility problems & just cannot conceive a second child, but if I ever do then I think a baby shower would be lovely with just some close friends & family who know how hard things have been for me.

Aeroflotgirl · 04/06/2016 20:00

Yes it's meant to be for your first baby only, or it's really grabby otherwise.

expatinscotland · 04/06/2016 20:05

'Personally I feel this is an American tradition that is sneaking over here! '

No, it's an American tradition that some British have pinched and altered into something it usually never is in the US.

In America, it is never: for a second or subsequent child unless the first pregnancy is a twin/multiple pregnancy, organised by the mum-to-be, a mixed gender 'party' or 'get together' at night/BBQ/boozy evening celebration, an occasion the guests are charged money to attend, a meal of any sort.

It's 9 out of 10 times a gathering of women for a couple of hours on a weekend afternoon, say 2-4pm, for a first baby. Sometimes there's wine or a bit of fizz, but equally no alcoholic beverages. There are nibbles and cake. Then the guests go home.

It's not a 'shower' if you're saying, 'Oh, I just want to get everyone together before the baby comes'.

VocalDuck · 04/06/2016 20:07

Baby showers aren't for me at all and I have never had one and if I have another child, I have no intention of having one. However, some things mean a lot to different people and I think they can be a bit grabby but are also harmless and if it makes the mum to be happy, then so what if she isn't on her first pregnancy.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 04/06/2016 20:42

I agree.

However, when I met my group of friends, none of knew each other when we had our firsts, so we had them for second babies (I also thought it was a first baby only thing). But then some had 3 and 4 and had one every time and I did think it was a bit grabby, especially as the organiser took it upon herself to dictate what people were spending, spent loads more on stuff and told everyone after what they owed, and we were still expected to contribute food and a present each.

YoungGirlGrowingOld · 04/06/2016 20:47

I think baby showers should be consigned to the seventh circle of hell, irrespective of the number of babies involved!

Disclaimer: I have only been to one.

RaeSkywalker · 04/06/2016 20:48

As expat says, in America it's for the first baby only.

I've been to a few and am currently pregnant with DC1. I don't want a baby shower as I've found the ones I've been to a bit grabby and awkward- each to their own though- I would go if I was invited to another to support The expectant mother.

WyldeGharlique · 04/06/2016 20:53

Apparently a shower for baby no2 is called a baby sprinkle - VOM!! The mother is modestly 'sprinkled' rather than showered with gifts. DO NOT INSTAGRAM

Ifailed · 04/06/2016 20:54

whatever rings you bell. Personally I think they are a horrid, grubby foreign import, but as I doubt you'll invite me, what does that matter.

SpaceDinosaur · 04/06/2016 21:15

Absolutely after with you.

The only shower I have ever been to for a second baby organised by the grabby mum

RaeSkywalker · 04/06/2016 21:22

Wylde I've never heard of a baby sprinkle before!

CakeNinja · 04/06/2016 21:26

I had 3!
Loved them all!
First one, found out I was pg at 7 months, my mum hadn't met my mil and they organised one together which was lovely for them, they have been firm friends ever since. Friends and family rallied round with all their outgrown and old stuff, which was absolutely amazing.
Second one, my best friend organised and third one my mum and mil organised again.
I loved them all, don't remember any presents other than at the first one which was mainly second hand offerings and subsequent ones were all cake related!
Don't like them? You don't have to go you know!!

PunkrockerGirl · 04/06/2016 21:27

I think baby showers should be consigned to the seventh circle of hell
This x 1000

Flip