WIBU to ask help desk person to do this?

[BasinHaircut]

I suffer from misophonia. Whether we think that's a real thing or not, the fact is that I can not bear certain noises.

Just had to call a help desk and the person on the line clearly had a rotten cold. As a result he was breathing through his mouth quite heavily, clearly had the microphone right up to his mouth and obviously I had the ear piece right up to my ear.

The call went on for a bit and I could feel myself losing control so I asked him to move the microphone away from his mouth as I could hear him breathing really loudly, sniffing constantly and coughing.

My friend thought this was hilarious and couldn't believe I had the guts to do that as it 'was quite rude'.

Personally (and I know my response is not totally level headed because of my issues with noise) I think that even though it's not the guy's fault that he has a cold, and may not be in a position where he can take a day off or not be on the phone for a day etc, I shouldn't have to deal with that shit in my ear and it's not really good customer service to be heavy breathing, sniffing and coughing down a mouthpiece?

I have misophonia, I sympathise. You were polite (despite feeling that boiling rage!), he resolved the issue and you both got on with your day. Really fail to see how you were being rude at all

The trick is to say ask them to move the microphone away a bit because there's feedback or its distorting the sound a bit. They'll know its because of their snotty cold noise but you don't actually have to refer to it.

I don't think it's ever rude to politely ask someone to do or not do something. They are free to refuse, of course.

Do all of you 'yes it was rude' posters just put up with anything and everything, and refrain from ever asking anyone to do or not do anything?

I really cannot see how you were rude, let alone "horribly rude". I do think if you have a cold, the least you can do is to cover the phone when you cough and blow your nose so as to reduce the amount of sniffing. If he wasn't doing that, he needed to be asked to adapt how he he was dealing with the phone, and it sounds as if you phrased it as politely as you possibly could.

BeautyQueen, I'm wondering that too. I mean, it's not as if he doesn't know he has a cold and is sniffing, its not like pointing out someone has lipstick on their teeth or something.

If I was the only person working that day on the phones, I'd be far more annoyed to have the same person calling again and again about the same issue in the hope they got someone else.

I feel like this is one of those female gender conditioning things, where we mustn't make a fuss about anything, we must claim everything is wonderful while quietly putting up with things that are easy to actually change. Heaven forbid we politely ask for something purely because we'd prefer it!

Great stuff OP. I'm sure he thought nothing further of it.

What shit should he have to put up with flogging? Genuinely interested.

All I said was 'I'm really sorry, but could you do me a favour and move the microphone away from your mouth?'

Me saying 'I shouldn't have to put up with that shit' is just my vernacular I'm afraid.

OP i know exactly how you feel. I too have misophonia. i had a head set in work and actually asked a woman quite sharpishly to phone me back when she had finished eating her lunch and hung up. i was perhaps rude but how rude is it to eat while on a work phonecall.

if your situation it couldnt be helped and i think you were not rude.

in this hot weather ds (7) was eating a 99 and the noise was so much i thought i was gonna push his face into the ice cream. i smiled and left the toom. i leave the room when dp is eating his porridge. its no fun.

I've worked o a helpdesk. Sometimes the mike ends up too near your mouth. Unless someone tells you, you don't know to move it. YWNBU and I don't think anyone I worked with would have been offended. Mumsnet seems to have people excessively concerned about manners.

YWBVU and rude.

Your condition isn't his problem and you need to act professionally at work.

I work in a call centre and would've rolled my eyes very strongly at you.

Probably biased because I'm not able to complain when it's the customers who are heavy breathing, eating, shouting st their partner in another room, or worst of all pressing the buttons on their phone with their face so I get a horrible beeeep in my ear. That one I do point out because it stops me hearing them, but often they're annoyed with me about it?? Okay sure carry on, I just won't be able to hear what you actually want me to do.

wrecking don't worry I'm used to the eye rolling as I'm sure other misophonia suffers are

But would you consider it rude, assuming all other aspects of the call were OK?