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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to make DD (4) wear shorts under her nightdress?

126 replies

StarlingBirdsong · 02/06/2016 14:57

So DD has just discovered it is possible to sleep in a dress (a birthday gift) and is now point blank refusing to wear her usual pjs (shorts and t-shirt). Not a problem, she needed new nightwear so i'm buying her a couple more.

However I was planning on getting some cycling short/cut off leggings for her to wear underneath. DH doesnt understand why and thinks its a waste of money and not needed. My thoughts are that she is only 4, so she comes downstairs in the morning and is turning cartwheels etc and generally mucking about with her brothers and i dont think its necessary to have bare bottoms waving about, or sat on my sofa.

Whilst i'm not a prude, i am conscious that she has an older brother and i think its important to set some ground rules for acceptable nudity - getting changed for bed etc is one thing but surely its not right for her privates to be on display while she's playing?

So what are your thoughts - shorts underneath? or perhaps just a pair of pants? to be worn all night or should i get her to put her pants on when she gets up? (also thinking of 'breathability' as it were if she's in something close fitting all night?)

(if its relevant i also generally encourage her to wear short leggings under her skirts and dresses, again due to age and her love of being upside down and climbing things - seems more practical than bare legs climbing a gate/on a slide etc)

OP posts:

HidingUnderARock · 02/06/2016 17:10

Tell her to put pants on when she gets up, like we used to as kids.

I can't help wondering when you say she will only wear skirts and dresses and not shorts/trousers, what you would have done if your sons had tried that line.
I wonder if that is somehow leading you to think of shorts rather than pants.

I think shorts without pants aren't great anyway. They usually have the seams in the wrong place for girls.

duckyneedsaclean · 02/06/2016 17:10

Why does anyone wear knickers under their nightwear? What purpose does it serve other than make you hot and sweaty?

If underwear makes you so hot & sweaty, why wear it in the day?

SkaterGrrrrl · 02/06/2016 17:16

"Now you mention it,op, I've struggled to find 100 per cent cotton nighties for my dd. Usually have some sort of poly something in them. I generally put her in big tshirts or pjs. Where can I get a cotton nightie from?"

Tell me about it! My 5 year old will only wear nighties and every big department store, Marks etc all have polyester nighties!

Eventually I went onto evil Amazon and got 100 pc cotton nighties from a scandi company.

gabsdot · 02/06/2016 17:18

Genuine question...what do people mean by "modesty" in the context of little girls? What's the issue with them showing their pants, even their bare skin?

Personally I think it important to have a level of modesty at all ages although maybe modesty isn't the best word for it, I can't think of another one though.
Nothing to do with shame about the human body or anything but just that I don't think it's appropriate to show strangers your knickers whatever age you are. My DD is 8 and I don't like her to wander around the house in her underwear if we have visitors, with family members it's different.

However I know I am probably in a minority. I have high modesty standards . I really dislike tights clothes, especially those leggings all the teenage girls wear at the moment. I don't like belly tops either. I guess I just don't like clothing that leaves what's underneath in no doubt.

Hodooooooooor · 02/06/2016 17:19

Christ, are we seriously telling 4 year olds to cover their shame?

SkaterGrrrrl · 02/06/2016 17:22

100 percent organic cotton nighties = Sanetta. Available on Amazon.

PortiaCastis · 02/06/2016 17:24

Just tell her to put her pants on when she gets up

IToldYouIWasFreaky · 02/06/2016 17:25

Are there any clothes that teenage boys wear that you don't like gabsdot or is it just on the girls to be "modest"? And are little boys allowed to show their underpants?

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 02/06/2016 17:28

Glad you saw sense early in the thread.

And, think about it, if you find pants uncomfortable, would you really find shorts which are fairly tight around the thighs more comfortable? Simple soft cotton knickers are much much better.

Dontlaugh · 02/06/2016 17:29

Queen Victoria just called, she's wondering when you'll be back.

gabsdot · 02/06/2016 17:35

I don't feel the need to see anyone's underpants, boys or girls.

I'll admit I'm a fuddy duddy.

Nataleejah · 02/06/2016 17:38

Are there any clothes that teenage boys wear that you don't like gabsdot or is it just on the girls to be "modest"? And are little boys allowed to show their underpants?
Not for me but i will answer. When teenage boys wear trousers below the crack -- that's unsightly. Or i really don't understand youth fashion

Buzzardbird · 02/06/2016 17:48

I was 9 years out then Dontlaugh?

Stratter5 · 02/06/2016 17:55

Lord but you'd hate our house gadsbot. It's generally full of teenagers wandering around in knickers.

honeylulu · 02/06/2016 18:25

My eldest (11) gets hot at night and sleeps in the nude. We started having a "pants on outside your bedroom" rule a couple of years ago as he would put on a dressing gown but walk around or sprawl on the sofa with it gaping open.

toptomatoes · 02/06/2016 18:33

We just had this issue with 3 yo DD who has just discovered nighties. She came down and had her nightie bunched up around her waist most of the time and was fiddling about so we just put a fresh pair of pants on her before bed.

CharlieSierra · 02/06/2016 18:35

Haven't there been quite a few threads about this sort of thing over the past few days?

calamityjam · 02/06/2016 18:40

Rule of our house; Don't show your bare arse when we have company, unless its close family. Other than that, just wear what you want when you want. Oh and if cartwheeling, tuck your skirt in your knicks.

trufflehunterthebadger · 02/06/2016 18:42

why are you worried about your DS seeing your DDs genitals ?

if you aren't worried then why does she need to cover up ?

if you are worried then your family problems are bigger than whether your dd wears cycling shorts to bed

gabsdot · 02/06/2016 18:43

As I said in my thread it's different with family.We walk in underwear and towels and the nude as much as the next family.

Original poster

StarlingBirdsong · 02/06/2016 18:51

There should be a great big sign that can be added to a thread saying 'PANIC OVER OP HAS SEE SENSE' or something!

and to those asking whether i feel different to boys, no i dont. in my house the boys do not have their trousers low enough to show their underwear.

and whoever asked how i would react if my boys wanted to wear skirts the same rules would apply - its absolutely fine but shorts underneath to make the outfit fit for purpose - as in sensible for climbing trees and hanging upside down etc. (baffles me why DD cant see that on some occassions trousers would be more sensible!!)

have just seen the school dress thread, sorry, i hadnt seen that when i posted!

so 'pants out of the bedroom' is going to be the rule!

OP posts:

DarthPrincess · 02/06/2016 18:53

I have a very outdoorsy child who climbs and forages and is attracted to dirt scratches cuts etc. I've never put shorts or leggings under a dress or skirt. She sleeps in nighties and seldom wears even knickers. Its a non issue.... But we are a very minimal clothe wearing house. Kids are often in just underwear, dp in shorts and me in pj pants and a sportsbra.

Maybe we should all cover up more in our house but we all like being comfy.

FellOutOfBed2wice · 02/06/2016 19:06

I grew up with a sister but even so it never occurred to us at 4/5/6 to put our arses away. Feel like we are a family of nudists now!

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 02/06/2016 19:27

Aren't you people who wander around the house in hardly any clothes ever cold? We don't skimp on the heating but it's rarely warm enough to walk around comfortably in our undercrackers (or less)

gamerwidow · 02/06/2016 19:35

Dd (5) sleeps naked at her own insistence despite having a well stocked nightwear draw. I get her to wear knickers when she gets up

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