Aibu to not know what a 'mum friend' is?

[PeppasNanna]

Keep coming across this phrase.
Maybe I'm just ancient but are these friends thst are mums?

Or mums that are friends only cos they are mums?

Ooh, I've just realised DH has 'dad friends' he goes out with sometimes, is that reductive too?

Sometimes just 'friends' would sound weirdly evasive. Contrast:

'I'm planning to go out on Friday night, does that work for you?'
'Sure, who are you going with?'
'Work friends/mum friends/dad friends/NCT people/hobby friends.'

Or

'Friends.'

The former is more informative and sounds less like I'm trying to avoid answering the question, and saves me the hassle of saying 'Lisa and Mary and Louise and Katie, and possibly Priti and Karen, and Nina if she can get a babysitter.'

Sorry I vanished. I think my boiler has just blown up, which is not helpful.

I think people are overthinking what I said.

It's the term 'mum', I object to - personally, I'm not requiring anyone else does! - and that I think is twee and weeble-y or whatever I said, not the status of being a female parent.

I have a child myself, the majority of my friends have children, and certainly most people I know locally where we now live - we've not been here long - are connections I've made through my four year old son. Mind you, I don't hear any of them referring to one another as 'mum friends' either - I've never heard this outside of Mn!

To me it's a child's word that sounds weird as used by an adult to describe themselves or another adult, unless talking to a child. But you know, whatever.

Excuse me, I must go back to my boiler.

I don't like it when anything connected with being a woman with children gets badged as "mum", "mumpreneur", "mum friends" etc. But I full understand why "mum friends" is a handy shorthand way of saying "women I have met through shared activities with my children who haven't yet developed into friends in their own right but with whom I am happy to spend time and share child-related experiences".

I would describe a mum friend as a friend I have made through having children, for example at a toddler group. I wouldn't refer to my friend from university as a mum friend even though she is a mum.

'Oh hi! Yes, I've seen you at drop off, I'm MorrisMinors mum! '

How would you say that, TheCladagh?

I'm his mother?

Theres a lot of smug "I'm so much more than a mother" shite about. Yes dear, you're so much more special than the rest of us mere mammys.

I definitely think a 'mum-friend' is a thing.

To me, they are not really friends because I only really know the 'mum' aspect of their personality, through parties and playdates etc. I also have 'work-friends' who I like, but only know in their work persona.

A few people will become real friends who I get to know in their entirety and the friendship transcends the situation it was formed in. Most, however, will remain contextual and just pleasant acquaintances rather than actual friends.

Friends who you know through having DC who play together. Like your colleagues in childcare, I suppose. But colleagues you like.

I think there are infinitely worse and more reductive terms one could use, such as "mummy chummy". Yuk! I'm firmly in the "useful descriptor" camp. And as it happens, I've got two of them coming round for wine this evening once DS is in bed! Hurrah!

I'm out Friday and Saturday this week (miracle for me!). Friday I'm out with work, Saturday with the mums. That's how we describe our nights out. The dads have dads nights out too!

I assume that the term 'Mum friend' is just to connect the fact that you wouldn't have met unless you were Moms Mums.

'Oh hi! Yes, I've seen you at drop off, I'm MorrisMinors mum! '

How would you say that, TheCladagh?

I'm his mother?

Yes, I think so.

Theres a lot of smug "I'm so much more than a mother" shite about. Yes dear, you're so much more special than the rest of us mere mammys.

I think that's 'mumbitchery'. Or 'mumspite'?

Nope, plain old bitchery. No need to put "mum" in front of it as if that is an additional insult.