To be cross with my DD for taking my clothes and posting pics on FB wearing them

[gubbygubby]

DD 16 periodically takes my stuff without asking.
Used all my foundation ect, takes clothes.
I've got a safe, lock on my door , got angry.
I've explained that if she asks nicely I don't mind, but taking it makes me very pissed off.
She's been much better recently.
She asks nicely if she wants to borrow make up and puts it back.
She is even wearing one of my posh dresses to her prom.
Last night I'm looking at FB and there she is wearing my new top posing with her mate.
I posted " stop taking my stuff please "
Then she gets all huffy and blocks me.
Locking my door all the time isn't an option as sometimes other DC might need stuff in there but I'm sick of her doing it
WWYD ?

LaConnerie it is sad to think you have to have locks on doors in a family home - but teens often have locks on their own doors... imagine if it were 2 or 3 or 4 teen sisters and one was helping herself to the others make up and clothes...

I always think there is something wrong when posters say their child/ teen "steals" food from the family kitchen - that makes me feel a bit queasy, the very idea that it is regarded as stealing from your own shared kitchen! But clothes and make up are individual personal property, and when you know you are allowed to borrow if you ask then taking without asking is a massive breach of trust and is stealing when it is a consumable item rather than one that can be washed and returned.

It must be amazingly irritating to have an outfit in mind for the day or a special night out or event or meeting and discover it is in the wash or stained or in a crumpled heap on your DD's bedroom floor when you open the wardrobe to put it on!

The foundation could have been down to your DH or DS (if you have one) , just sayin....

I feel your pain my daughter does this and when I go into her bedroom in the morning reclaiming my make up , straighteners or whatever else she s pinched she moans I've woken her up . I have no answers I hide things but forget where so defeats the object .

You have asked, pleaded got angry now teach her a lesson. Start removing things from her room! Don't tell her just keep calm and remove things whenever she is out. Clothes, handbags, shoes, iPod etc.
She needs to learn the hard way.

I was asked by dd1 17, not to wear MY coat to a school event as she had been wearing it and I would embarrass her. I don't mind her wearing my clothes as long as she asks and I rarely say no but she knows not to just take.

Well she is only 16. She can't afford to buy the clothes you do, so it's not like two friends sharing an apartment is it?
You obviously have more stuff and better stuff than she has, that's why she borrows it. Yes it is wrong to take it without asking first.
Posting on her Facebook page is a No No. Do not have your arguments in public on Facebook.
Why was it important for you to let everyone know on Facebook that it was your top?
Might there be a touch of jealousy seeing her in your stuff? You weren't getting the credit for looking nice in the top.
She is probably very proud of you and pleased about the fact that she has a mum who has nice clothes that she can borrow.
Someone has to be the grown-up here and rise above it.

I'd treat this as theft, it's not on and she'll be a nightmare for someone else to live with at uni etc. She shouldn't be rooting around in your stuff at all.

I'd treat this as theft, it's not on and she'll be a nightmare for someone else to live with at uni etc. She shouldn't be rooting around in your stuff at all.

You need to have a serious conversation. Ask her what she thinks you should do if this continues? tell her that the new top, was unworn, & had she asked it might have been OK. remind her that you don't go taking her phone, or anything she values. Its common mutual respect, & if she cannot understand then you will constantly remove her privileges until she "gets it", this can be, NO prom dress, No lifts, No friends over, No outings she plans, No pocket money. You have repeatedly requested her to ask, it's not rocket science. You go to work to pay for things for everyone, including yourself, you are not a doormat
Maybe put a lock on your wardrobe ?

I'm curious as to what is in your room that other kids might need!

I agree that your husband also has a key to the room & that's it!

Normal teenage behaviour. My daughter thought it was ok to spray loads of my jo Malone perfume on herself for school, sniffed her out told her no, next day she used my channel no5 and couldn't understand why I was angry as it wasn't jo Malone. Can't win.😜

I guess there is some benefit to being 4 sizes bigger than my dd
I also have a lock on my make up which I didn't mind her using it did like her to put back nicely, lids on etc.
She mooches I my room when I'm out abd uses what she wants.
It's very annoying.

I don't think that it's normal teenage behaviour at all!

My daughter has always asked for stuff & I've never found anything of mine in her room or suddenly all used up.

I don't have the same problem with this so-called "public shaming" that so many others seem to. People should feel embarrassed by their bad behaviour; it helps societies function properly.

Just say no. You're the parent. You shouldn't have to hide things or lock things away in your own home.
I don't get this whole 'she's just being a teenager' thing. Life doesn't suddenly become a free for all the minute you hit your teenage years. If anything, teenagers need clearer boundaries - they've got enough angst going on in their lives already.

It never occurred to me that I was showing her up on Facebook. I just wrote it seconds after seeing it when I was in bed. I'm not jealous just irritated !
It was Deffo her using the foundation as we have different colour skin to all the others in the house which was why lying was so ridiculous.
I need an extra key cut and some posh wardrobes with a lock. Mine are ikea so no locking.
At least her feet are smaller than mine !
I don't want to fall out over it , she is spending today looking after my younger DS so need her not to be in a mood for him
Some interesting replies though

How lucky for you that a teen wants to wear your clothes. When I was a teen there was no way on earth I would be seen dead in my mother's clothes. The fact they were too big for me wasn't the issue. It was the actual look. 32 years on my mother still wears the same style of clothes.

Oh I remember when my mum went away for a week and my gran was looking after me (I was about 14) I snuck into her room and used some of her make up. I felt SO naughty and guilty about it. Put it all back so it looked like I had never been there.

I'm trying to imagine a parallel universe where teen DDs would want to borrow my clothes. They could probably both fit into one of my trouser legs.

DSD moved in with us at age 16 and morphed into me, pinching clothes, dyeing her hair the same colour as me etc. Irritating but par for the course with teenagers isn't it? I used to wear my mum's bras and she's a totally different size to me! (36B and I'm a 30E - the woman in M&S laughed at me when I told her what size I was wearing)

My DD does this, this weekend she's gone to a friends and took my make up brushes, pjs, knickers and foundation, bronzer and concealer. When challenged she just says oh sorry and does it again. I need a lock ASAP.