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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be amazed that it's legal for children to drink at home from 5 years old

45 replies

Janefromdowntheroad · 01/06/2016 15:16

It seems like one of those bizarre laws that should've been changed years ago.

Given there's no limit on how much alcohol they can have at home you could conceivably give your DC as much alcohol as you like at 5 as long as they are at home. I can't think of one other thing that you could let your 5 year old kid do at home which has an 18 legal age limit.

AIBU to think this law should be changed?

OP posts:

ProudAS · 01/06/2016 16:53

My parents started giving me a few drops of wine with Sunday dinner from about seven or eight years old plus spirits on special occasions. It meant that I didn't see it as something forbidden and to do in secret as a teenager and I think it helped me develop a healthy attitude to alcohol.

Making drinking at home illegal for children would not stop irresponsible parents letting them get drunk, it would have stopped my responsible parents from helping DB and myself to learn about alcohol safely.

AuntJane · 01/06/2016 17:26

I was given a glass of wine mixed with water with Sunday lunch from the age if four or five. As I got older, the wine reduced.

By the time I was 15 or 16 most of my school friends were going into pubs to get drunk "because it shows I'm grown up". I was having a glass of wine on a Sunday because alcohol was nothing special.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 01/06/2016 17:37

this just reminded me about the baby in the pub over the weekend who's dad gave him a sip of his pint, the baby was very young around 9 months at the oldest, the mum laughed and called him a 'beer monster' dh and I were

OptimisticSix · 01/06/2016 18:00

I was allowed a glass of wine with Sunday dinner as a child, and would allow mine the same, except they don't like wine :) honestly I am trying to install a "little in moderation" attitude to alcohol with my children. I have never had an alcohol issue. My issues are all good related:)

Abbinob · 01/06/2016 18:07

I don't think any parent is going ot give a 5 year old alcohol anyway, and if it was illegal how would you even know? plus whilst it's legal im pretty sure social services would have something to say if you were getting your young kids pissed.
I begged my dad for a can of beer when i was 9 and he let me, and then i had to pretend to like it and drink it all because i didn't want to admit it was disgusting.
My parents let us have the odd bacardi breezer at BBQ's and things from about 10, not something i would do but we're all fine

Witchend · 01/06/2016 18:08

I was allowed, as was my siblings, a small amount of alcohol from about age 5yo. We used to particularly like ginger wine with lemon juice squeezed in (served in sherry glass).
I drink about 5-6 times a year now, perhaps a glass of wine when out or half a pint of cider.

Done the same with dc. Dd1 is 15yo and will confidently say "no thank you" as she doesn't like it. Dd2 likes about a tablespoonful in lemonade, and ds will have half a sherry glass of cider occasionally.

I think letting them have a little bit actually gives them a good relationship with alcohol. It's not forbidden so it doesn't become desirable by that. They can have a little in the safety if home without suffering peer pressure to have too much.

At university the people who really drank to excess were those who hadn't been allowed to drink at all before.

Cineraria · 01/06/2016 18:26

So before five are they not allowed food that is cooked with wine to flavour it? I make a risotto that has a quarter cup of wine sizzled over the shallots to start the recipe and a gravy that does the same with red wine. It never occurred to me that DS shouldn't eat them. Thinking about it though, they reduce so much that maybe there isn't any alcohol left.

I used to be offered a port and lemon after Sunday lunch by my mum and still love the taste when she makes them at Christmas. I have two or three drinks a month now, and didn't ever like drinking enough to get drunk, so I think it had fewer ill effects than the Nescafe I had in my bottle as a baby!

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 01/06/2016 18:29

Meh. I lived in Spain as a young child and at that age, it was pretty normal to see Spanish parents give their kids a small glass of wine diluted with water at the dinner table.

That was 30 years ago, mind. Don't know whether the Spaniards have got all hand-wringy about the issue since I doubt it.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 01/06/2016 18:35

Last December my 5 year old started to get a little curious about the occasional alcoholic drink dh and I would have. I started off letting him sniff them to see what he thought. He didn't like the smell of the mulled wine I was soaking the fruit for the Christmas cake in, or any wine for that matter. He did think some of my IPA smelled quite nice. I let him have about a thimble full in a glass.
He hated the flavour. I think he's satisfied his curiosity for now and has shown no interest since. I don't want him growing up thinking alcohol is some hidden delight he is Not Allowed - I think that can potentially lead to all sorts of problems - but neither am I ever going to let him have more than a sip, and only if he asks.

OTheHugeManatee · 01/06/2016 18:58

Don't worry, OP, I'm sure the Department Of Assuming Everyone Is An Irresponsible Fuckwit will be along soon to make sure something perfectly obvious is removed from the domain of parental judgement and written out in crayon instead via a nice clear law for the fuckwits.

NeedACleverNN · 01/06/2016 18:59

My two have tasted alcohol. Not as drink but a finger dipped in as a baby when teething maybe. One finger mind. I can't a teeny bit of alcohol doing much harm every now and again.

I think it also takes away the glamour of it all. Makes them less tempted to binge when they do get a bottle because they are so used to have a little bit.

Notso · 01/06/2016 19:37

I was allowed a Baileys at Christmas from around 3 or 4, and often a sugar lump soaked in whiskey or brandy at dinner parties. Ciders and shandy from around 9, stronger stuff at 13/14.
I still drank to excess as an older teenager nearly every weekend. Most of the people in my family have some degree of dependancy on alcohol, a few seriously so but for most it's the need for a glass or two of something to unwind in the evening, which is fine.
However I don't want to be that way as I am an addictive type of person and I don't particularly want my children to see that as the norm either. My eldest is 16 and I don't feel any more comfortable with her drinking than I would with her smoking. She has taken a couple of ciders to parties but I feel it's the lesser of two evils.
My parents think I'm all wrong and I should be doing things their way.

JohnBarrowmaniac · 01/06/2016 19:43

I was told on a training course that the law allows alcohol to be given to 5 year olds because some medicines contain alcohol.

Hodooooooooor · 01/06/2016 19:55

You have it arseways. Its not that its legal to give them alcohol, so go ahead and do it. It's that its not illegal to do so.
A civilised society doesn't make unnecessary laws to govern what goes on in the privacy of peoples homes. We don't need laws to tell us not to give 7 year olds a large whiskey before dinner, we have common sense. And anyone who would do so wouldn't be prevented from such a choice merely because it was illegal.

Nataleejah · 01/06/2016 19:57

Brandy filled sweets anyone?

squoosh · 01/06/2016 20:00

I was allowed a Baileys at Christmas from around 3 or 4, and often a sugar lump soaked in whiskey or brandy at dinner parties. Ciders and shandy from around 9, stronger stuff at 13/14.

Well that's just bonkers. I'm not surprised you drank to excess as a teen seeing as you had booze pushed on you from an early age. A sip of wine for a curious 8 year old is fine but giving a 3 year old a glass of Bailey's (!) or a p year old a glass of cider is just stupid.

TheSkiingGardener · 01/06/2016 20:06

My 3 year old once asked for a sip of my drink. I said "No! You're not allowed beer until you're 5!"

Turns out my 5 year old was also in the garden and this head slowly appeared from behind a table and a voice said "reeeeaaalyyy???"

So at 5 he had a tiny sip of real ale. Hated it. And then turned to me and said "I can have another sip when I'm 6!"

I doubt it's the start of a big alcohol problem really.

iklboo · 01/06/2016 20:15

DS(10) has a 25ml measure of red wine topped up in a tall glass with lemonade on special occasions. He's had a tiny sip of gin - he doesn't like it philistine.

vdbfamily · 01/06/2016 20:43

My 11 year old son just came and licked the remains of my Sambuca as it smelt so good. Made him cough. It is good for kids to experience alcohol in moderation,drunk sensibly.

Rosti1981 · 01/06/2016 20:53

Hmm I've cooked with wine and given it to both my 5 year old and 2 year old (alcohol mostly cooked off I assume ) and I let my 5 yo dip her finger in my wine to taste once with dinner. I think being around alcohol and seeing it consumed responsibly on an occasional basis is fine, and indeed may help to demystify it. Not sure what age I'll let her try more, maybe 8 or 9 (but not spirits, more a small taste of wine with a meal). I think 18 at home would just be crazy.

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