to expect DH to give me half a day off?

[angstybaby]

he thinks i'm expecting him to be a mind reader; i think: i said 'i'm really tired after last week, when you were away and me and all the kids had vomiting and diarrhoea'.

i don't think that's mind reading. i think it's expecting the person who loves you to a) listen to what you're saying (and i said it a lot) and b) want to do something to help you.

AIBU? He has taken the kids off this morning in a huff so i've got what i wanted but now feel like i'm being punished (the kids were whipped out the house this morning without the chance to cuddle them) and that he's cross with me (he was v grumpy with me this morning)

I get why you're annoyed, but agree with other posters that you have to ask, not hint. I also think it's unhelpful bringing his mother into it - his relationship with his mother is not relevant. However, yes it is annoying if you are constantly having to pick him up on things. Can you have a conversation about that which is not linked to a specific annoyance and where you lay out clearly what you want and why it's making you stressed (and leave his mum out of it!).

I'm sure he could join those pretty fucking obvious dots at work angstybaby. As someone said upthread, he's choosing not to. And then huffing and sulking. Attractive.

It's sometimes better to make a direct request, but I'm not all that surprised to hear that this man is constantly trying to make sure that OP does the majority of the domestic work and childcare. A lot of men really do feel, deep down, that this stuff is women's work, and if they do anything at all to 'help' then they are owed craptons of flattery, praise, indlugence and sex.

Don't waste you precious time trying to be subtle & hoping he will use his brain to act upon hints & empathise. just tell him what you want, it saves a lot of heartache.
Plus, if he sulks, just tell him not to sulk. he is an adult, he has kids, you need a rest. End of.
Also don't waste your free time on here, or clearing up. Get some sleep. You will feel better later !

Well in light of your last post there is a much bigger issue at play and actually all the more reason to be direct and blunt, you can't challenge this sort of behaviour with subtle hints.

Not being able to connect the dots or pretending not to see the dots are two different things only you know him well enough to know which it is