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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About the parents of the boy who fell in the gorilla enclosure?

76 replies

user1463172942 · 31/05/2016 14:33

Sorry, I know there are other threads about this but I have just been shown the Daily Fail's latest bit of 'reporting' on this.

They have dug up the fact that the boy's father had a drug dealing conviction a decade ago. This is pointed out in a huge headline. About 100 lines later, in tiny print, they note that since then he had been college, held down a normal job, married and had a family. For a DECADE!

They have stalked his Facebook account and say that all the photos are of his wife, kids and work.

They have interviewed a load of randoms blaming the parents and insisting that they categorically KNEW the gorilla would not hurt the boy.

That poor family... For all I know they could be neglectful parents but nothing I have seen or read provides any evidence of this. They were looking after a baby and for all it seems were distracted when the 4 year old fell. I have 3 kids and could easily see how this could happen.

I can't help wondering how different the reaction would have been if it was the child of a middle class white couple ( and I say that as someone who is middle class and white).

I really feel for them. Their little boy will probably be completely traumatised long after he has physically recovered. The whole family will probably suffer as a result of his previous conviction being made public.

OP posts:

SlimCheesy · 31/05/2016 15:37

starry thanks for posting that. Very very interesting.

SweetieDrops · 31/05/2016 15:39

I can't help wondering how different the reaction would have been if it was the child of a middle class white couple

Only have to look at the McCanns and their clearly neglectful parenting yet tons of sympathy and money thrown their way to get the answer to that.

Purplepicnic · 31/05/2016 15:47

If you google images of Gorilla World, Cinncinati Zoo, there's a picture of crowds at the railing. It's tiny and the mother only needed to be looking the other way for ten seconds for the boy to get over it.

She doesn't deserve the grief she's getting and neither does the zoo. It's just one of those unfortunate and unforseeable events.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 31/05/2016 15:48

worra I'm now wondering if accusing someone of reading the fail counts as a personal attack

ollieplimsoles · 31/05/2016 15:49

Dixie

Well thanks for that but it may interest you to know that I don't read the dm, nor I have I read any of their articles about this event.

But I'm maintaining it is the mother's fault completely.
She hasn't apologised or accepted any blame, and her comments about how apparently God was watching her son til the poor animal could be shot was what lead me to make the comment I did on the other thread.

God this, god that, oh thank you god for keeping my son alive even though you didn't manage to stop him falling in in the first place

Looly71 · 31/05/2016 15:49

I agree sweetie drops

DixieNormas · 31/05/2016 15:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3amClub · 31/05/2016 16:00

The father was there too. For those saying 'it was the mothers fault', give your head a wobble.

It's a difficult one. Nothing is childproof, the little buggers have a way of getting into things & doing things they shouldn't, even if they've been told a million times not to. the kid is to blame for bolting off & not listening to his parents.

If you're out with 2 kids you discuss in advance & throughout which kid is your responsibility and when. In crowded settings use a sling/pushchair/hand/eyes in back of head to make sure a flighty kid is safe. The parents are at fault for letting him get so far so fast.

Finally, Should the zoo have had better safety railings without access holes? Yes, definitely. They're also at fault for being a kids attraction & having kid sizes access holes to a bloody gorilla pen.

I wonder what the public view would have been if the kid tumbled in & was immediately killed?

LongChalk · 31/05/2016 16:02

Some people seem to be missing the point that wild animals are unpredictable and that a male adult gorilla could at any point have broken the child's neck. So first off, the zoo had no choice. Of course there are questions as to whether they need to improve their safety procedures but as things stand, they had no choice.

As for some animal lovers lacking human compassion, I'm reminded of when that silly woman put the kitchen in the bin and lots of people putting on social media how a kitten was so much worse than if she had put a baby in there as kittens have nobody in life to look after them and I remember one person saying that if it had been a baby then the mother would have deserved it for letting someone snatch her child in the first place. Others saying a baby would have been less traumatised etc. It opened my eyes, I can tell you.

ollieplimsoles · 31/05/2016 16:07

she thanked the staff and everyone else who helped that day, also that she said it must have been awful for the staff having to kill the gorilla

awww great, thats nice of her.

she needs to say 'Sorry, I fucked up a bit'
accept. fucking. responsibility.

thats all some people want.
her comments and attitude are pig headed and ignorant.

NickiFury · 31/05/2016 16:14

her comments and attitude are pig headed and ignorant.

See I think that about every single thing you have posted about this.

flippinada · 31/05/2016 16:14

I would imagine flagellating themselves publically for the benefit of judgemental strangers on social media (who all know exactly what happened despite not being there) is not very high up on the families' or the zoos list of priorities at the moment, somehow.

LongChalk · 31/05/2016 16:16

Ollie, are you aware there are at least 2 (that I know of) bereaved mums here on MN who have devastatingly lost their child after they pulled away and in a split second ran into the road? One was trying to cross a busy rd hanging onto her pram containing her baby at the time.

Do you think they should be apologising for 'fucking up'? Because I don't. I read their stories and think, there but for the grace of god. I know my toddlers have slipped away on occasion, one time I screamed like a banshee as they ran across a road. Pure luck that he's still with me. No fucking up or bad parenting, just life.

LongChalk · 31/05/2016 16:20

Are we telling the mother of James Bulger that she 'fucked up' for turning away to pay at the till? How about the mother of April Jones for allowing her to play outside her home rather than being tethered to her?
Think about what you are saying.

3amClub · 31/05/2016 16:21

longchalk I didn't know this. I'd like to point out that I missed off my post that accidents happen & that's exactly what this was.

The long & short of it is, it's got shite all to do with anyone in the world and it should just be a case of 'thank god he's ok'. Wonder if all these keyboard conservationists have been contributing to places such as WWF prior to their outrage?

Nataleejah · 31/05/2016 16:21

This is different. Their child was unhurt. An innocent victim died.

JeanGenie23 · 31/05/2016 16:22

I think there were many errors made by all parties leading up to the point where the gorilla was shot.

Firstly if you have a four year old that is likely to wander off, let alone consider climbing into a wild animals enclosure, then you need to use reigns/pushchair. I have a four year old, he loves animals, and he would walk ahead of me, but he doesn't go out of ear shot or eye sight and understands that wild animals are dangerous so you look from a distance because that's safer.

Secondly, it strikes me that the enclosure mustn't have been secure if a child could get in to begin with. This is a worry. Thank goodness it wasn't a lions enclosure. The child would have been seriously hurt, if not killed.

Finally, I did wander could the zoo keepers not have used a tranquilliser instead? But having read the PP perhaps they couldn't have. However an endangered creature has just lost a life and it should not have happened. I appreciate it only takes a second for something dreadful to happen but I fear this could have been prevented by both the parent and zoo.

LongChalk · 31/05/2016 16:26

This is different. Their child was unhurt. An innocent victim died.

But if the zoo had waited then we could be looking at a dead child. I'd chose the life of the child over the gorilla every.single.time. And anyone who wouldn't is nothing short of a dispicable human being. The gorilla's life in no way ever trumps that of the child.

TheFairyCaravan · 31/05/2016 16:32

Their child wasn't unhurt really though was it? I'd imagine the poor little thing is frightened out of his mind right about now.

When I took my children to the zoo I let them run on the grass and be a bit free because it should be safe. The zoo failed this family and it's more by luck than judgment it hasn't happened before.

The treatment of the family by the media and idiots on social media has been beyond disgusting.

witsender · 31/05/2016 16:39

Why does the mother get all the vitriol? The father was there too. Something happened that happens the world over, a 4 yr old did something they shouldn't.

Nataleejah · 31/05/2016 16:41

Those who justify the killing.
How was lethal ammo safer to use with a child about? Could have easily misfired. Could have just wounded the gorilla and pissed him off even more. Could have hit the child. The dying gorilla could have fallen over the child and squashed him to death. Now that would have been especially "nice".
Officials of course will say anything to cover their backsides. The whole world is outraged. What a needless, meaningless death.

And if someone wants to remind me my kid at an airport... If that had happened on the runway instead of duty-free, i guess i would be held fully culpable. And things like "shit happens" or "its the airport's" fault wouldn't hold. And i accept that.

mamamea · 31/05/2016 16:43

" For all I know they could be neglectful parents but nothing I have seen or read provides any evidence of this"

Well there is the fact that the father has a conviction for not paying child support. That seems pretty neglectful, no?

" dug up a drug dealing conviction a decade ago"

Actually they said

"Criminal filings against Dickerson stretch over a decade and include burglary, firearms offences, drug trafficking, criminal trespass, disorderly conduct and kidnap."

"I can't help wondering how different the reaction would have been if it was the child of a middle class white couple ( and I say that as someone who is middle class and white)."

Except that people initially thought the child WAS of a middle-class white couple, and racist blacks were quick to jump on this idea and twist it to suit their narrative:

www.breitbart.com/london/2016/05/30/black-outrage-gorilla-shot-protect-white-privilege-just-one-problem/

Perhaps the question you could ask is whether they would have shot the gorilla had the child been white. After all, people are super-quick to latch on to any such case - if they had NOT shot the gorilla, and the child had been injured or killed, there would have been a massive racial angle which simply wouldn't exist if this had been a white child. The gorillas at Brookfield Zoo (white child), and Jersey Zoo (white child) were not shot.

kitkat1968 · 31/05/2016 16:44

The parents will probably (rightly) sue the zoo

Nataleejah · 31/05/2016 16:47

The only racial parallel i see is when unarmed black kids get shot dead because a white copper felt "threatened"

Flumplet · 31/05/2016 16:47

I don't profess to be a perfect parent at all, I really really don't, we all make mistakes, but if there was a 15ft drop anywhere near my 4yo ds - even more so with a potentially dangerous animal at the bottom of it - I'd most likely be holding ds' hand. I don't like zoos as a rule, however I do think they have their place, and ordinarily id have preferred to see an animal like Herembe (?sp) being cared for in captivity rather than being chopped up by poachers, but following this whole incident, I'm now not so sure. The parents failed the child, the zoo failed the gorilla. It's no one person's fault. Lessons need to be learned from this.

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