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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's unfair to blame the mother of child hurt by gorilla?

497 replies

pinkladyapple · 30/05/2016 22:02

Yes if she was holding his hand maybe he wouldn't have ended up in the enclosure. But he could have gone over/through the fence in a split second. And the zoo should have fencing which makes this impossible, surely?

The parents aren't being prosecuted for negligence and yet the Internet seem angry at the mother.

But then the people who think that also seem to think a tranquilliser works instantly, and the gorilla wouldn't react to the pain or impact of the dart.

It's sad and terrible though. For everyone.

OP posts:
GreaseIsNotTheWord · 30/05/2016 23:44

You can't know that Toxic. Your kid is presumably going to leave your side at some point? Others will be in charge at sometime. People are fallible.

I'll assume that your refusal to answer means you would have been less happy to sit back and wait for the child to be mauled, or not, if it was your own.

ToxicBits · 30/05/2016 23:46

My child escaped from the supermarket at 4. So there you go. Not a perfect parent. They didn't get very far though as their dad was waiting outside and I'd clocked them heading his way and he'd clocked them heading his way so for a moment dc thought they'd escaped. In reality it was managed risk. Would I do the same at the zoo? Fuck no.

IPityThePontipines · 30/05/2016 23:47

Don't get me started on the topic of wars. Because yes I do kind of subscribe to that view point but a bit more nuanced than that angie

Nuanced my arse. It's easy to have all the nuance you want when it's happening on another continent. I'd love to see the nuance you would have if you got caught up in a warzone.

I know these threads always bring out the Animals Uber Alles sorts but there is some spectacular rubbish being said on this thread.

Children can indeed do very stupid things very quickly and the zoo was right to shoot the gorilla.

BooAvenue · 30/05/2016 23:47

DD (5) is obsessed with lions and regularly tells me " he's a nice lion mummy he is fluffy he looks nice to stroke" and will stroke our dog saying "hmm you are a nice lion aren't you" Hmm. I am not extra vigilant around the lion enclosure at the zoo because it has not until now for one split second crossed my mind that a zoo, which must see hundreds of thousands of child visitors per year would not have appropriate measures in place to stop children being able to get in the enclosures.

The zoo are completely at fault here, but at the same time I 100% back the shooting of the gorilla and I can bet that anyone who says otherwise would have been the first one screaming for the gun if it had been their child.

ToxicBits · 30/05/2016 23:47

My own child Id have been "hand me the shotgun" of course. Someone else's child of course I'm going to hoick my judgy pants up because frankly I'm really not a people person as you may have guessed Grin

DancingDinosaur · 30/05/2016 23:48

My child escaped at a dinosaur exhibit once. Just glad now those weren't real.

Grin
Fairuza · 30/05/2016 23:49

I'm pretty disappointed you have a child Toxic. Don't you care about the planet? Endangered animals? Deforestation? You're destroying the earth through overpopulation!
Please don't tell me you use dead animal products too....

DancingDinosaur · 30/05/2016 23:50

because frankly I'm really not a people person as you may have guessed

No, you're just a bit of a twat really. (Imo)

LaurieMarlow · 30/05/2016 23:50

Toxic et al. You disgust me. That is all.

Can't believe there are such fuckwits in the world.

monkeywithacowface · 30/05/2016 23:50

Just a brief synopsis will do Toxic Grin. The thread is repetitive anyway

"It's not fair to blame the mum"
"She's a shit parent"
"What about the dad?"
"It's the zoo to blame"

Lather rinse repeat (with a sprinkle of dopey late comers asking why couldn't they just use a tranqiliser)

ToxicBits · 30/05/2016 23:52

The brief synopsis will get me into more trouble than the full explanation knowing this site. So I'll save it for when I'm able to write it out in full Grin

ToxicBits · 30/05/2016 23:54

Anyway I think both this topic and the war topic make for interesting discussions, if emotion were removed from them ultimately it's down to who has the greater priority. Homo sapiens or the rest of the animal kingdom. If it's us the. Why don't we just kill everything off now and be done with it?

Highsteaks · 30/05/2016 23:56

I really think that parents should teach their kids how to act when near the enclosures in zoos. So no running around, no shouting, no banging on glass or shaking fences and definitely no climbing any fences ever. The animals are to be respected and viewed from a safe distance and in a safe way. And then when you get in the soft play they can go fucking as nuts as they like!

Having said that, some of the comments I have seen online directed at the parents today are pretty shit.

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 30/05/2016 23:56

No one here knows for sure. Maybe the parents are neglectful. Maybe they released the kids at the gate and arranged to meet them at the gorilla enclosure 4 hours later. Who knows.

But it's not automatically the case that they're neglectful just because they made a mistake.

To anyone 'hoiking their judgy pants' I truly hope you never experience what it's like to flick your eyes away for 3 seconds, flick them back and your child is gone. You look madly around you, they're not there, just crowds of strangers in the zoo, the supermarket, or the park. Your heart starts pounding, you feel sick, you call them firmly, then you're shouting, then you're screaming and panicking because they've just vanished. It's the worst feeling in the world, terrifying and every second feels like an hour.

And the scariest thing is that is can happen to anyone. Any of us. No one is perfect, no one is infallible.

And if you think you are, you're a fucking idiot.

5Foot5 · 30/05/2016 23:56

I am desperately sorry the gorilla was killed. But how can anyone seriously blame the parents more than the zoo? The boundaries should have been secure - full stop. Yes of course when you are with a small child you need to be vigilant. But anyone who thinks it is impossible for a small child to slip away in a split second when you look the other way has been very luckt

monkeywithacowface · 30/05/2016 23:57

OK well do at least PM and direct me to your thread about war I'm fascinated. Your views on gorilla V toddler are a bit twisted but I'm not going to write you off as a bad egg just yet Grin

hownottofuckup · 30/05/2016 23:58

I think the one att fault is the kid. Should have done as he was bloody well told.
But, he didn't, he's just a kid, he didn't realise the consequences, so it can't be his fault. So in my mind it's a very sad accident. I feel sorry for all involved.

MyNewBearTotoro · 31/05/2016 00:02

I've been a vegetarian well over a decade and always thought I was quite an animal lover but I have to say, when I read about this story I felt glad the boy was saved and felt kind of 'meh' about the gorilla. I mean it's sad but animals (including endangered animals) get killed needlessly every day - what's so special about this one? Of course it's sad the animal was shot but it was a freak accident and it was a better choice to kill the gorilla than do nothing and risk it killing or seriously injuring the child.

Really I can't believe the reaction to this and how angry people feel about it. How many of the people up in arms about this donate money to protect endangered animals or avoid eating meat or seek to avoid buying products from companies who cut down rainforests etc? How many actually cared about endangered gorillas before this became a big media bandwagon they could jump on?

I don't believe half the people getting angry about this truly care about this gorilla, animal abuse or animal conservation - they're just looking for another excuse to belittle a mother (never the father) for a brief lapse in her parenting and to vilify her online behind the shield of a crowd all doing the same.

DixieNormas · 31/05/2016 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BooAvenue · 31/05/2016 00:02

Well yeah I do tell DD not to bang on the glass or behave badly around the animals, same as I tell her not to pick her nose in public, but she's 5, she gets distracted by that lovely lion or that marvellous bogey.

maisiejones · 31/05/2016 00:05

KingJoffrey. What do you mean by 'something's afoot'. Do you think there's some sort of conspiracy to fling people into wild animal enclosures?🙄

cleaty · 31/05/2016 00:08

In Britain I would not expect a 4 year old child to be able to get into a cage for a dangerous animal. But many other countries have far lower standards, so I have no idea if zoos are supposed to ensure this in that US state. Certainly I have been to zoos abroad where children could have got into cages fairly easily.

DeltaSunrise · 31/05/2016 00:08

No way at all are the zoo at fault, not even in the slightest.

Their job is to make enclosures safe enough to keep the animals IN, they have done that perfectly well.

It's a parents job to keep their kids OUT, not such a good job done there eh.

I absolutely agree that in the circumstances, shooting the gorilla was the right thing to do. A child or a gorilla? Obviously the child comes first, but in no way are the zoo to blame for being in a situation where one of their animals had to be shot.

StickTheDMWhereTheSunDontShine · 31/05/2016 00:10

The mother should have been supervising her child more closely.

And the enclosure should have been fenced of more securely.

The two are not mutually exclusive.

Just the same as road accidents. People are often killed by bad driving. People are often also killed by being bad pedestrians.

monkeywithacowface · 31/05/2016 00:13

Delta fair point but does it not make sense to do both because like someone pointed out not all human behaviour is predictable and well let's face it some people are just dick heads. If not to ensure the safety of visitors then to ensure the safety of the animals they are responsible for.

Maybe the parents did fail to protect their child but ultimately the zoo failed to protect this gorilla