I know I am, but still have The Rage.

[Figuringitout]

I am so tired; but I am awake (and fuming - which I do realise is completely unreasonable).
Context: My four year old goes to school full time, August baby, and is completely exhausted. Every morning for school I have to wake her at about 7.30 and cajole her into having breakfast, putting on her uniform etc. I am a teacher and work full time, so I am very tired and was really looking forward to spending time with her this holiday and, I'll be honest, having a rest. I also have a 10 month old who still wakes through the night and is in our room.
For the last few weeks, each weekend - and now every day so far this holiday - she has woken between 5 and 6, come into our room (waking the baby up) and wanted to get up. She is then tired, whiny and generally miserable all day. The baby is also out of routine and grumpy and so our days together haven't been fun-filled!
I have tried changing bedtime (both earlier and later) and she is very active in the day so I have run out of ideas. I don't mind getting up at 7ish, but she really hasn't had enough sleep before then.
DH is great and is currently up with both of them, so I'm in bed but probably won't get back to sleep. I am also really horrible to be around, snappy, irritable and this morning I cried when she arrived at 5am and woke the baby.
I know I am BU to be angry, but AIBU to be at a loss for how to encourage her to sleep more?

Could you make her feel really grown up and let her put the TV on and get some breakfast on her own? Tell her that big girls don't need to wake mummy and daddy when they're ready for breakfast. Then all you need to do is leave some dry cereal out in a bowl, or some fruit, or a sandwich covered up, plus a beaker of drink, and she can get up and watch cartoons or something?

The other alternative is put the baby in their own room/in with her if they're old enough. She's jealous that the baby gets to spend all night with you, but when she comes in, you get angry and cry? That has to be having a negative affect on her. She just wants to be with mummy and daddy just like her sibling is.

I think some people and some children are just early risers.

To my frustration I always wake at 6, regardless of how late I went to bed!

Sticker chart sorted this with my dd. say 5 stickers gets a prize...they don't have to be 5 days in a row. No coming in before 7.30 (get a clock) and you get a sticker. She'll lap it up. Keep it going until it becomes second nature.

I'd love to get the baby in her own room, but there's no point until she aleeps through; I have to go with the option that lets us get as much sleep as possible! We are working towards this and we've recently had a breakthrough in that she now sleeps in her cot!
My DD has never expressed jealousy towards the baby, although I admit this might be a reason I'd not thought of.
I'll do what I can to survive the week and definitely have a plan for the summer!! We're going away tomorrow, and all in the same room, so we'll see what happens then!

"Bone crushing tiredness" I remember that well and feel for you! I think you're doing the right thing letting people know that you are extremely tired. It's torture and people should give you some leeway.

When she gets up, take her back to her room and put her back in bed. 5am is too early for any person (with a normal working pattern) to be up for the day. We don't allow toys / books either. I feel that encourages our girl to start her day. To be awake and up four hours before school is too much.

We have a gro clock, she doesn't get out of bed til Mr Sun gets up. We've had spells where she gets up and comes into my bed. Sometimes I let it go, but if it becomes a habit tough mummy comes out and we put her back to bed, mostly with a fight. It takes some time to get it through to them but is worth it in the end. She also knows she can get into my bed without waking me up and that's not a problem.

We often get the "bad dream" thing. Again, every once in a while I let it go, but if it becomes habitual (days and days in a row) I tell her it's probably the TV she is watching or chocolate she is eating so if she keeps on having them we'll need to cut that out. Funnily enough she stops having "bad dreams" after that.

Four is hard work in all ways. My approach was to do whatever it takes. She is old enough to go downstairs, get a drink of milk and put tv on. That might buy you some time.
Also baby in your room at 10 months just means 3 of you get woken up instead of two.
Double beds in all rooms helps - DH can get in with DD and spin things out a bit.
If I'm honest at this stage we just did musical beds. DH and I would move from DS room to spare room or whatever just to capture that extra bit of sleep.

I did have one sleep deprived spell when she was about 5, where at the fourth 3am waking in a row I told her if she was having this many bad dreams we'd need to take her to the doctor. "What will they do?" she asked.

"I don't know but it will probably involve big needles"

That worked for a while😉