I'm frustrated at my life, jealous and angry

[Changedmyname90]

I really am just so frustrated with my life at 27. It's nothing that I wanted. Everything I didn't want I have and everything I wanted I don't have.

Today at Tesco I bumped into an old school friend, she's married and just had her second child. Everytime I go somewhere I bump into old classmates/people from uni and all of them are married with children and it makes me seeth with anger and jealousy.

I don't trust men and fear intimacy, so a relationship is off the cards. I know this makes me sound like a monster, but I've been thinking about ruining other peoples marriages, because if I can't have it, then neither can they. I'm just so frustrated and angry.

Flowersandshit are you the op?

OP I don't know if you've seen it (perhaps you're already on there!) but we have a lovely support thread for Neurodiverse women here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnetters_with_sn/2625476-Neurodiversity-support-thread-for-women-with-suspected-diagnosed-or-self-diagnosed-autism-ADHD-and-other-NDs

Totally open to rants, despairs, but also lots of coping tips, support, sympathy, and understanding.

You are not alone. And yes 27 is a funny age. I think because people have had enough time to go in different directions it can feel a bit "Argh I'm being left behind". But you're not. There is lots of time.

Is there a namechange fail here?

You need to share how you feel with your gp-your feelings are very intense and worrying. You sound on the verge of allowing these distorted feelings to destroy both you and possibly others if you do decide to act them out.

*Which Buddhist retreat if you don't mind me asking? I would love to do something like this.

My life is 100% the opposite of how I want it and I am going to change it all over the next year one step at a time. I am tired of being tired and fed up of feeling fed up. Jealousy and bitterness consume and overwhelm me*

Jumping in here and I hope this is allowed - I went to this place

www.taraloka.org.uk/

If nothing else four days away from your usual life would surely help, and they are both loving and compassionate.

Is there a namechange fail here?

Looks like it.

OP what is the specialist therapy you need that isn't available on the NHS?

To be honest, any experienced and qualified therapist should be able to adapt their technique and communication style in order to treat people with ASD. I have used CBT, person centred counselling and DBT with people on the spectrum, as have many of my colleagues.

Thank you Bertie I'm going to check out that thread now

I've had CBT before and thought it was rubbish and not suited for my complex issues. I found a private psychotherapist much better but couldn't afford it any longer.

Haven't RTFT but you're very welcome to my children and husband. Sold as seen. No returns.

I would highly recommend you seek a therapist that practices EFT. Emotional Freedom Therapy linked to CBT. This will change your thinking, help you deal with feelings.

OP, I think you've changed your name for this post as you know deep down that you don't want to be associated with the thoughts you are having.
Don't feel bad for having negative thoughts towards others because that is all they are, just thoughts, and many thoughts never lead to actions.
You are a lovely person who is simply trying to figure out the best way of making your life better. Please be reassured that things most definitely can get better.
Love yourself and truly believe it. It will help your confidence. When you think of things that have gone wrong so far, be proud of yourself for being strong. Don't disagree that you weren't. You were and are!!!!

ZsaZsa1954 thank you for the information.