This is my first post on Mumsnet. My children are grown up (27 and 25) and have left home, and it's now I need some help - I've tried to discuss this with my DH, but we just go round in circles. I think we're too close to the situation.
Our DD lives just a mile up the road from us with her boyfriend of 5 years. She has two lovely dogs, and just recently one of them has started barking during the day. The neighbours weren't too happy about this; I used to go round once a day, give the dogs a cuddle and take them for a nice walk, but now I go to her house before she leaves for work and she drops me and the dogs back home, and they stay with me during the day. She can't bring them to me as they don't behave in the car without somebody to restrain them. They're no problem, and I enjoy having them.
However, having lived in a little terraced house with a microscopic garden for the last 26 years, my DH and I are now hoping to move to a detached property with much more land where at last I can have a vegetable garden, keep some chickens, and get rid of the mortgage so DH can get out of a job he's really not happy in. We'll only be 45 minutes away, but DD is getting worried about who's going to care for the dogs during the day, and the fact that she won't be able to see me whenever she needs to for a chat and a "mum hug".
This whole issue is complicated by the fact that DD suffers from depression, has been suicidal, and I'm terrified that putting this extra stress on her will tip her over the edge. If she had a more supportive partner she could turn to I wouldn't be so worried, but...he's not great. You can't choose their partners for them, I know, you can only be there to help pick up the pieces if/when it goes wrong, but there lies the rub - I'm worried I'll be too far away to help her when she needs support.
I understand that this must be difficult for both of them, as it's their childhood home, but we would like to put ourselves first for once...
In short - help!