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AIBU?

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Original poster

Afternoon tea for wedding breakfast

81 replies

WonderingAround · 29/05/2016 13:23

If you were served afternoon tea as a wedding breakfast would you enjoy it or feel short changed and prefer a hot three course meal?

I attended a wedding recently where the wedding breakfast was "afternoon tea" which was three small filled rolls per person and some tiny defrosted cakes. I think anything you're given at a wedding is gratefully received but DP moaned a lot afterwards that he was starving and it was like a child's packed lunch. It was all discussed more because the groom was very "groomzilla" and obsessed with his wedding telling all and sundry how much it had cost and constantly asking people what they thought of such and such which just seemed like fishing for compliments.

OP posts:
BennyTheBall · 29/05/2016 13:58

I care not about the food at weddings, although I know some guests make a big deal out of it.

We went to a wedding where the meal was afternoon tea. In addition to sandwiches, there were mini quiches and samosa type things.

It was very charming and there was loads of food.

In the evening there were things like sausage or bacon sandwiches and mini cones of fish and chips.

Unicorntrainer · 29/05/2016 14:01

If that is all you got to eat all day, it must have been a very long day. Proper afternoon teas are lovely, but the one you were given sounds a bit mean.

WorraLiberty · 29/05/2016 14:02

OP really needs to come back and tell us what time the wedding started/finished and if there was any other food served.

derxa · 29/05/2016 14:03

Sounds great. Make sure everyone has enough.

Crusoe · 29/05/2016 14:09

I so wanted this for our wedding but the venue wouldn't consider it.
I think it's a fab idea but has to be done really well.

Adelecarberry87 · 29/05/2016 14:12

Only on MN would people say guests are being unreasonable about a vegan menu on one thread but agree over the dislike of afternoon tea style wedding Hmm

RaeSkywalker · 29/05/2016 14:14

I wouldn't mind at all! I think it would make sense to tell people on the invites though- I know that people like my uncles would raise an eyebrow and I'd rather they got their heads around it before the wedding day!

ohtheholidays · 29/05/2016 14:14

We did an afternoon tea but ours was huge!

There was welcome drinks and appetizers and then when we all sat down there were bottles of red and white wine on every table,jugs of iced lemon water and soft drinks were served throughout for all the children and non drinkers,every table had stands on it with nice little sandwiches,finger rolls,small wraps and other savoury items after everyone had finished that there were several cake stands bought out for every single table with assorted fancy cup cakes,scones,clotted cream,jams,cream cakes,mini gateaus ect.
Pots of assorted teas and coffees were served.
Then to round it off we had champagne and a huge cheese board,more coffee and tea served with petit fours.

Then for the evening we had a hot and cold buffet.

barbecue · 29/05/2016 14:15

If people are travelling a long way and probably had sandwiches on route then they'd probably rather not have them again.

Frrrrrrippery · 29/05/2016 14:16

I'd prefer it to a normal wedding meal but the quantities have to be ok.

NapQueen · 29/05/2016 14:18

It's fine - but what you had wasn't proper afternoon tea!

There should have been plentiful sandwiches, sweet and savoury scones, probably crumpets, sweet and savoury mini pies, cream cakes.

nippiesweetie · 29/05/2016 14:19

How about a high tea? A small plate of hot food (or a salad), loads of bread and butter and a wide selection of cakes, scones and biscuits.

Original poster
WonderingAround · 29/05/2016 14:25

The wedding started at 2pm afternoon tea was at about 3.30pm and then at 9pm there was a barbecue meal which was substantial so by the end of the day you couldn't say you were hungry. DP was starving waiting until 9pm for more food though.

The mini cakes were definitely defrosted ones you could tell they had the condensation on the edges and the sponge seemed defrosted.

OP posts:
annandale · 29/05/2016 14:31

Sounds potentially fantastic - tea is the best meal - but I'd agree high tea would be best of all. With trifle. I like trifle.

miwelaisjacydo · 29/05/2016 14:32

I did this for my wedding and it was great Everyone enjoyed it. We had a chillie for the evening.

WorraLiberty · 29/05/2016 14:32

In that case it sounds pretty much perfect.

Guests would already have eaten breakfast and lunch. Then the afternoon tea as a large snack and a substantial evening meal too.

If your DP was 'starving' while waiting for more food, there's little the bride and groom can be expected to do about that.

You can't cater for every single appetite.

Witchend · 29/05/2016 14:36

Db had afternoon tea. There was so much on offer there was plenty left over. I liked it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/05/2016 14:45

sounds similar to a wedding i went to

tho was so much food for afternoon tea,lots of scones/sandwiches/cakes washed down with tea/coffee - def wasnt hungry afterwards

plus huge bbq in evening

you say dh was hungry, but he had some food, then had to wait 5/6hrs and had a huge bbq

sure he wasnt starved

plus no point having huge lunchtime/wedding breakfast as then those guests rarely eat the evening buffet as stuffed

PartiallyStars · 29/05/2016 14:46

I think it is OK in theory as long as everyone is clear what is going on. I went to a lovely wedding with canapés and cakes served at tables after the ceremony. When the canapés came we thought "best not eat too much, save room for the main course." When the cakes came we thought "omg, that WAS the main course" and filled up with cakes. Then it transpired there was a hot meal a few hours later and we felt like greedy pigs for eating so many cakes. All the food was great, the concept was great, the wedding was lovely, there just needed to be a bit of communication about what was happening when.

Original poster
WonderingAround · 29/05/2016 14:49

The BBQ was substantial but the afternoon tea was paltry nothing like what some of you have described.

OP posts:
BonerSibary · 29/05/2016 14:51

The problem with not feeding people much more than a packed lunch until 9pm is that's a lot of time for them to get pissed, and not a huge amount of food to soak it up.

Original poster
WonderingAround · 29/05/2016 14:52

Yes and it was a location wedding so we were all in the hotel the night before to get ready and there was nowhere to get lunch.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 29/05/2016 14:53

Yes, the BBQ would have been much better served around 7pm, not 9.

Hulababy · 29/05/2016 14:53

Proper afternoon tea with copious finger sandwiches or mini filled rolls, some salad on the side, a few nice crisp type things, followed by a couple of scones with jam and cream, and then normally about 3-4 small cakes each - that would be fine, delicious even. After a proper afternoon tea at a decent restaurant you come away full.

What the op describes wasn't a proper afternoon tea however.

WorraLiberty · 29/05/2016 14:53

3 filled rolls and some cakes - after eating breakfast and lunch is more than adequate imo.

Many people eat their evening meal at around 6pm, so you were given that to tide you over until 9pm.

If your DH was unhappy with that, I don't think the B&G are to blame.

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