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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hoover my bedroom at 6am tomorrow?

45 replies

Moomoomango · 28/05/2016 19:32

Dh has just said he's sick of living like a slob and he can't stand it any more because our bedroom has clothes and an towel on the floor. The rest of our house is littered with usual kids toys (4 and 1) but these are tidied away every evening.

I might add most mornings once he has watched the children to allow me to dress myself and make coffee in peace he goes back to bed for 2-3 hours (this morning 4) as he doesn't sleep well. I do most of my cleaning in morning as that's when I'm most productive. 1 year old sleeps in our room so can't clean it during naps or at night. And the rest of the day I'm doing life - raising children.

Aibu to take on board his noting of our slob like bedroom and choose to clean it at 6am?

OP posts:

littlemonkey5 · 28/05/2016 20:21

In our household - I am the one screaming "I'm leaving - this house is a pigsty"

Difference is, 1) I am a full time Mum, 2) I am up from 6am with broken nights sleep (my youngest DC is 5 weeks so I am BF), 3) DH works, then comes home and cooks the dinner, 4) We are all recovering from a death in the immediate family and I am sure that my DCs and DH have a touch of depression........ 5) I have a spinal injury. We had a cleaner until she didn't show this week (no great loss, we'll get another) but ideally we could do with a housekeeper!! But until then, I am constantly picking things off the floor and hoovering daily - I'm sick of it!

The only reason I haven't walked is because I hope that any minute, the fog will lift and the children will miraculously tidy their rooms and not drop food everywhere..........hahahahahahahahaha........ Oh, and I love my family too much! Damn it!!

Do you think that your DCs and DH could have a touch of depression? It's possible if your DH has lost his job or has fallen out of work maybe? Quite often, men need to feel like a provider and if they aren't, they can feel a bit hopeless and depressed. DCs could be sensing this and could also be slipping.

Artandco · 28/05/2016 20:22

Why doesn't he take the kids off in the day so you can work instead of going back to bed?

gingergenie · 28/05/2016 20:27

I'd change the bed too...with him still in it!

eddielizzard · 28/05/2016 20:30

if he's not working he has plenty of time to clean. don't do the vacuuming at 6am, get him to do it!! the reason he sleeps badly is because he's sleeping in every morning.

ThatStewie · 28/05/2016 20:32

You could tidy upyomorrow by tossing all his stuff in the front yard for being such a lazy arse.

BonitaFangita · 28/05/2016 20:46

Here's an idea, why don't you have a lie in and he can get off his lazy arse and try being an adult for the day?
Maybe if he pulled his weight around the house instead of sleeping all day he would be able to sleep better at night.

wannabestressfree · 28/05/2016 20:49

I Don't know why anyone would put up with this shit...

CraigN24 · 28/05/2016 20:51

I would stop him going back to bed and say you both need to work together to get the house clean so you're not living " like a slob" and then start banging around so it's impossible for him to sleep!:)

Don't want to upset the neighbours

FannyFanakapan · 28/05/2016 20:51

so you work, and you take care of the kids, and you do the cleaning...and he contributes what, exactly, to this relationship, apart from "allowing" you to get dressed in peace?

Iknownuffink · 28/05/2016 20:53

Do it,

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 28/05/2016 20:58

Your house would look massively tidier if you threw out the messy man-slob. He makes the place look untidy.

wanderings · 28/05/2016 21:01

I remember calling my mum's bluff with housework once, when I was a teenager. As mums do, she had this annoying habit of ruining holidays by making us do chores and homework. I wouldn't have minded if she asked in a calm, neutral manner, but she tended to list them in a gloomy, whiny voice. When she once started doing this the moment I was out of bed (and it was about 7:30am on a Saturday), I got out the hoover there and then, started doing it in my pyjamas, I hadn't even had any breakfast! She wasn't grateful, she wailed "that's a horrible way of reacting!".

Grunt. I ignored her and carried on anyway. After all, she had mottoes such as "duty before pleasure", "the sooner you do it, the sooner you're free". So I was only doing it by her rules.

starry0ne · 28/05/2016 21:10

I was going to say YABU incase you were my neighbour be we are not detached...I would suggest dropping the hoover, duster polish, clean bedding and laundry basket all on the bed so he can't get back in it..

Incidentally if you had a toddler who wasn't sleeping at night you cut out the naps

purplefox · 28/05/2016 21:12

If he's unemployed why isn't he the one doing the cleaning, and looking after the children so you have more time to work?

LaBelleOtero · 28/05/2016 21:16

WTF??

Can I ask what the point of him is?

gingergenie · 28/05/2016 21:31

wanderings do you have kids now? Interested to know if it's changed your perception of your mum?

honeyroar · 28/05/2016 21:34

When he watches the children while you get dressed, don't! Don't get dressed, stay in bed. Tell him you're not getting up until the house is clean, you're sick of it, tell him he's a lazy sod and you're staying put.

wanderings · 28/05/2016 21:39

Interested to know if it's changed your perception of your mum?

Don't worry, my teenage ways of thinking changed as soon as I had a place of my own to hoover, never mind kids, fab perception of my mum now (although I still begrudge "quality time" ruined by hearing her whinging about things that needed to be done!). I'm of the view "spotless house = wasted life". I wait until hoovering really needs doing, then I blitz it. I know this thread's not about teenagers and housework, but all the hoover rebels on here reminded me of that moment.

bloodyteenagers · 28/05/2016 21:49

So erm wtf does this cock lodger do exactly?
You seem to do all the cleaning, take care of the children and generate an income whilst he sits on his arse moaning, of course when he isn't sleeping.

Tell the lazy fucker he either shapes up and becomes an adult or fucks off somewhere else to live.

gingergenie · 28/05/2016 23:34

wanderings lol am totes with you on the "spotless house=wasted life" front. I do the bare minimum that I can get away with, without the plague setting in, but must admit I harbour fantasies of hoovering in my 14 y/o DS's room at 6am just to give him a little bit of payback of course I don't mean that! ...except it would mean hauling my sorry arse out of bed at 6am for no good reason other than vengeance...meh! I'd rather have the lie-in!

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