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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think work have no right to tell me what I can and can't do on my day off

109 replies

Ellybellyboo · 27/05/2016 08:31

DH runs a smallish local business. There's the business owner (who is never there), DH, his colleague Jane (not her real name) and an apprentice.

Yesterday the business owner had to talk to Jane about her behaviour at work (always late, 4 hour lunch breaks, etc), but it didn't go very well. Jane got very upset and walked out.

DH is having a new machine delivered today. The apprentice it at college today, the business owner is away so DH is on his own and it will all be a bit manic

I had booked a day off for today ages ago. Long weekend, wanted to decorate my dining room, make some new curtains, etc, but in light of the above I said to DH I'd go in when the machine arrived and answer the phone, deal with customers and just help out a bit.

Was chatting yesterday afternoon at work and my boss asked me what I was planning for my long weekend. I said about best laid plans and all that, and that I was now going to help DH at work for a couple of hours.

Just before I left last night my boss took me to one said and informed that I wouldn't be allowed to work with my DH today. It's against company policy for employees to work for someone else during their employment and would be subject to a disciplinary

AIBU to think this is ridiculous overkill for me helping out my husband for a couple of hours and they can bugger off and mind their own business

I have checked my company handbook and there's no mention of it that I can find. Only stuff about not working with direct competitors within 3 months of leaving

OP posts:

toastedandbuttered · 27/05/2016 09:06

And yes, seeing as they're paying you for it they do have a right to tell you what to do with your leave

Personally I wouldn't want my team working/volunteering while on leave. I want them to rest and have personal time so they are rested and well and fit for work again

carabos · 27/05/2016 09:06

Very controlling, especially the bit about the RNLI. I wonder where they would draw the line? What if say you were a Scout or Guide leader and used some leave to do a residential? Would they try to forbid that? What do they want you to do on your day off? Lots of people do things that could, at a stretch, be described as some form of "work".

I'm intrigued about the "disciplinary". What form would that take? How would they police it, or indeed explain it to a tribunal? Ridiculous. It boils my piss when employers over-step the mark like this. I worked for a very well known, high-end estate agent firm of property consultants where the partner in our office tried to dictate which bars and restaurants staff could patronise in their own time, i.e. Which had the right image for people "representing the brand". He didn't seem to get that nobody was "representing the brand" in their own time.

MunchMunch · 27/05/2016 09:07

Loads of people have second jobs though and from what I can remember the government are all for it if you can work longer and longer hours by taking on as many jobs as you need.

It is arsey of your boss, you're helping your dh out for a couple of hours as a favour to your dh , not for his bosses benefit although it does help him out in a way. Just go in and help, they'll never know.

carabos · 27/05/2016 09:08

But toasted, for some people, volunteering is a relief from their everyday stresses and is good for their mental health . Are you suggesting they should sit with their feet up, a packet of digestives and a copy of Woman's Own?

AugustaFinkNottle · 27/05/2016 09:09

It strikes me as weird that you want to tbh.

Mrsrisotto, it strikes you as weird that someone would want to spend a couple of hours in her free time making her husband's life easier?

Mumsnet is a very, very strange place sometimes.

FreyaFriday · 27/05/2016 09:09

I hope all these companies that 'forbid' employees from taking on a second job pay super high wages so that none of their employees need to take on more work to survive financially?

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 27/05/2016 09:10

Sounds total overkill to me.

Those kind of clauses are common in employment contracts though. Could your dh's company be considered a competitor to yours?

More likely explanation seems to be that your boss is an arse I'd nod gravely and agree with him and then go in to help your dh anyway

Original poster

Ellybellyboo · 27/05/2016 09:11

Well, if I don't go in and help DH, I'll be painting the dining room. Not sure that's anymore restful that sitting and answering a phone for a couple of hours to be honest

OP posts:

redexpat · 27/05/2016 09:11

Please Put your question to Hr in writing. Theres no record of a phone call. Or write them an email afterwards to say I asked these questions and this was your answer.

StealthPolarBear · 27/05/2016 09:15

Would you be allowed to volunteer as a self employed painter and decorator?

JapanNextYear · 27/05/2016 09:15

I work for Government and you have to get permission in writing before undertaking other paid employment. It's usually granted. Partly it's about checking for conflicts of interest, that it won't make you too tired to do your day job etc.

Most people do here because it's a small place and you'll be spotted!

In these circs I'd have said to someone, just pop that in writing to cover our backs, even though it's absolutely over the top if you are unpaid working with your DH.

MudCity · 27/05/2016 09:18

What a ridiculous situation. It isn't a second job. It isn't a direct competitor. There is no conflict of interests.

Their attitude towards your RNLI colleague says it all - I am shocked by that.

Ragwort · 27/05/2016 09:18

toasted - seriously, you wouldn't want your employees to volunteer during their 'own time' - thousands of us do lots of volunteer work around our paid employment, the country would grind to a halt if no one volunteered - or do you think only the retired/unemployed or independently wealthy should volunteer?

I have never heard such a bizarre comment.

blueskyinmarch · 27/05/2016 09:20

My DH is a director in a big financial company. They positively encourage people to take other roles to widen their experience etc. These roles are not paid roles. My DH has had a few roles like this and his current one is on the board of our local university student association. He gets time off from work to undertake this.

OP’s company is being very narrow minded if they do not encourage people to take up voluntary roles in their community. It would be very positive for the company to show they are community minded. The RNLI volunteer for example would be fantastic for raising the profile of the company.

blueskyinmarch · 27/05/2016 09:22

Toasted just because you employ someone does not mean you own them or their free time. People can do as they please in their own time and volunteering is a brilliant thing to to.

MunchMunch · 27/05/2016 09:22

I hope all these companies that 'forbid' employees from taking on a second job pay super high wages so that none of their employees need to take on more work to survive financially?

This!

Cel982 · 27/05/2016 09:24

And yes, seeing as they're paying you for it they do have a right to tell you what to do with your leave

Personally I wouldn't want my team working/volunteering while on leave. I want them to rest and have personal time so they are rested and well and fit for work again

Fortunately for your team, toasted, it's absolutely none of your business what they do during their time off. Why in the world would you think you get to dictate that?

Your boss doesn't have a leg to stand on, OP - it probably is best to clarify it with HR now that he's raised the issue, but I really can't see how he could legitimately stop you helping your husband out.

TeradelFuego · 27/05/2016 09:26

How very controlling and a bit weird of you toasted.

MudCity · 27/05/2016 09:28

Agree with Ragwort and bluesky.

Employers cannot control what you do in your free time unless there is a conflict of interests or (in government jobs) political conflict. That's why it is your free time...to do what you want to do. The country would undoubtedly grind to a halt if people didn't volunteer. I am shocked by the OP's employer's narrow minded attitude.

StealthPolarBear · 27/05/2016 09:28

Do you vet their holidays toasted to make sure they're not too strenuous?

RaisingSteam · 27/05/2016 09:29

I've "volunteered" for family members businesses before on weekends/over Christmas - it never occurred to me to mention it to employer.

Is this one of those things like "when does a play date become unregistered childminding?". The closer you look at it the more you get bogged down in questions of health and safety, employers liability etc etc. But then nobody would ever help another person out.

Community volunteering of which I've done a lot over the years is a different matter and I think some clients would be interested to know if their suppliers actively discouraged that. We are actually measured by one of our clients on "community engagement" and are meant to log all relevant activities we do in our own time!

ChessieFL · 27/05/2016 09:29

I'm surprised DHs business would allow someone to work there unofficially to be honest. Surely you wouldn't be covered by their insurance if anything happened to you? Even volunteers in charity shops need to be known about so they are covered. Does The business owner know you're doing this? If not your DH could be in trouble.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 27/05/2016 09:31

Perhaps toasted is head of an airline? In which case you can tell your pilots not to drink. I can't think of any job that gets to tell you what to do with your free time as long as it isn't illegal, dangerous, a conflict of interest or has the potential to bring the company into disrepute

littleGreenDragon · 27/05/2016 09:31

Those kind of clauses are common in employment contracts though

DH was part of a mass redundancy the ultimate owner was a well known huge US firm - and they offered more money for a extra bit of paper work but insisted the employee had to employ their own expert in employment law.

So we did - there were all these usual clauses that are fairly standard - and the verdict from the solicitor was they were completely unenforceable clauses under UK law at the time. I'm not sure if if was just the way his contract was drawn up - but it was a huge relief and an eye opener.

Lovewineandchocs · 27/05/2016 09:32

Augusta I know, right?! OP is weird for wanting to help her husband? Agree that this is a very strange comment.

Toasted' comment is totally bizarre-they pay you, they don't own you or your leave time! V v strange comment

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