paternity leave

[Flossiesmummy]

I'm due a baby in five weeks and today my DH received an email that went out to all staff about an open day event that's going on in his workplace. The date on which this is due to occur, he will most likely be on paternity leave. He mentioned this to his superior as a kind of reminder really, so that his likely absence wouldn't be overlooked.

His superior has responded by saying that they'd really like him there, and that the boss would like him there too. This was said with quite an edge of expectation.

We both feel that it's bloody unfair of them to expect him to attend during his paternity leave. In the interest of full disclosure, he is the best suited member of staff to present his aspect/ department during this open day. Nonetheless, I think another member of staff could easily do it, just perhaps not quite as competently as my DH.

The type of establishment where he works means that he feels he has no choice but to go to work on that day. If he didn't, there'd likely be resentment towards him and he'd be treated differently after his return from pat leave.

We have agreed that if I'm actually in labour that he'll stay with me and that if I'm not he'll go to work, even if we have a new baby. I know how awful it would be for him to be under the kosh upon his return and I don't want that for him.

AIBU to be really peed off that he's been asked to go in, especially as he's not on full pay for any of his pat leave?

Maybe he could suggest that if he is on pat leave that he either works the event and takes an extra day at the end of the leave or he misses the event and will attend next year.

I really can't see how they can enforce his attendance if he is on official leave. Surely if he had a holiday booked they'd not expect him to fly back for one day.

Of course he'd be totally within his rights to refuse to attend but, as you say, it's probably not worth the grief he'd get.
Can you make sure your mum/sister/friend can be around on the day he's got this away day, so you're not left alone?
And obviously he should get an extra day at the end of his pat leave to make up for it.

Luckily my mum is just around the corner so I'll be ok. I'm just miffed!

I would be pissed off. Totally understand the reasoning behind your decision for him to go in, but... I wouldn't go in. Because I am bloody minded and would resent the shit out of being expected to go in while on leave. In fact, when your DH' s colleague said that they'd really like him there, I'd have said "Well, I'd really like full pay for my entire paternity leave but we can't all have what we like, can we?" with a big, matey grin.