AIBU to go part time when I'm the breadwinner?

[failingatlife]

I approached my line manager yesterday about the possibility of reducing my hours from 37.5 to 30 a week (5 days/7 to 4/7). She was very positive & thinks it wont be a problem. I work in the NHS so there are policies in place for this. I have printed off the appropriate form which she will have 4 weeks from submission to respond to. I have been considering this for a while & it feels like a weight off my shoulders ( assuming I get it!) but now I'm panicking a wee bit! My family situation is this:
My DH has a chronic illness which is degenerative & has left him unable to work. His condition has deteriorated a lot this year meaning I have to do all the household chores & admin, support my DH and sort out the DCs as well as working full time in a physically & mentally demanding job. I am exhausted & stressed out. Something has to give! I know I am not doing my job to my full potential and when at home I am ratty & impatient with all of them.

While I think dropping 1 day will give us all a better quality of life (I work shifts & barely see the family some weekends) I really need to be sure I'm doing the right thing for us all, as I am the sole wage earner. DH is on PIP & ESA, we also rent out our previous house which we own outright (we had to move to a council bungalow because of dh's mobility problems). We get a very small amount of tax credits and manage OK on our income but with 3 growing DC costs are increasing all the time! I don't want my kids to miss out because of our situation. I also need to think of the long term for DH & I , pension etc.
Part of me is feeling a bit selfish, that I should just suck it up & stay full-time to ensure we are financially secure. OTOH I am stressed & exhuasted, my family need me to be strong for them (esp DH who is mentally very fragile at the moment). AIBU to consider pt? WWYD? Any experiences/advice would be great. I don't want to jump in without considering all the implications. Thanks for reading if you've made it to the end!

I reduced my hours from 32 to 27 a few years ago and certainly didn't regret it. Before I constantly had a massive to do list and no time for anything. I was really worried about the financial impact, however having the time to be more organised meant that I didn't waste as much money, and we hardly noticed the drop in salary. In a big organisation like the NHS, you will have the option to increase again when you need to, but it sounds like the right thing to do for yourself and your family right now is to make the compromise of dropping a few hours.
You clearly have everyone's best interests at heart. I hope everything works out well for you.

Am I missing something but how did you get a council property when you own outright (and let for profit I assume?) another house?

We qualified for council house due to Dhs health and unsuitability of our own house. Council fully aware of our situation. Our rent is only slightly less than the rental income from our tenant. We did try to find a suitable property to buy as council list very long. Suitable private homes were ££ over what we could afford. Very difficult to get a mortgage again in our situation too.

A check on HMRC shows a different tax credit amount & no mention of disabled element . I've worked out that with reduced tax/ni/pension etc we would be approx £200 down pm but potentially tax credits might cover this shortfall.

But is it right to drop hours then get more tax credits in my situation??

Have you considered a transfer to another department that can offer different shift patterns?

I have just switched for similar reasons, DH can't manage me being gone for 14 hours at a time. Now I'll be able to help with school runs and dinner/bedtime on days and be around for much of the day on lates/nights. Outpatients and ED might have shorter shifts or an early/late single shift pattern might help (although the latter means you have to be in most days).

How old are your kids?

Is it possible to negotiate reduced hours for a certain number of years eg 3 to give you a bit more security and on the basis that then your kids will be old enough to be able to contribute more to the cooking cleaning etc and require less supervision.

I would crunch the numbers carefully but err towards doing it in the short term.

You OP are talking shit!! There is no way you could get social housing when you're a homeowner. This thread is nonsense. And I know becaise I work in this department

OK then .....
As I have stated previously we only qualify because of my DH's health. Our house had steps to get in back & front door as well as a steep staircase. DH was spending most of his time in bedroom as bathroom next door and he struggled to get up/downstairs. He could only have a bath/shower if his dad came round to help him in & out. Our council house is an adapted one so only available to wheelchair users which is the only reason we got it. We wouldnt have qualified under normal circumstances. Our Housing & Social work Dept were fully aware of our situation when we were allocated the property (which we were on the list for 4 yrs for).

Do you work in the Housing Dept for EVERY council in the UK?

I'm the main breadwinner and I work just under 4 days a week rather than full-time.

It works for our family. Yes it would be nice to have more money but it's even nicer to have a bit more time.