I think a little girl isn't getting the care she needs (regarding enough food) but she's overweight.

[3yearoldlittleboyandgirl]

I really don't want this to come across like I'm knocking this girl for being overweight, I'm just not sure whether it helps prove my point that she isn't fed properly.

She is about 7/8 and in DD1's year. She came to DD1's party, as the whole year was invited. She was just dropped off late, outside, no mum or dad came in and we didn't even get a "she will be attending" text. So wasn't expecting her. She picks at the foot, claiming she is absolutely starving, she looks considerably unwell, you can see it - very pale, droopy eyes - you would notice if your DC looked 'that ill', when she had some food, she was no longer looking faint and played with the other children. Party finished at 3 pm, this was the other week, btw. No person came to pick her up until 4-5 ish, I had to get her mum's number off another child's mum, I didn't have a contact number until a mum gave it to me (I really wasn't impressed). She asked me "can I have dinner to tonight" and I was a bit like what do you normally have and she says "if my mum remembers..." It's all odd and definitely something I am not comfy with. However, a very close friend (parent of DD1's friend) made the comment of her not looking like a child who isn't well nourished. However, AIBU to think it shouldn't matter what she looks like, and that the signs are there?

Go with your gut feeling

Yes, talk to school. You might be way off, but it could also be a serious situation. The school should be able to find out which end of the scale it is.

An anonymous referral to social care would be more appropriate than calling the school. Involving school forces them to deal with it, whereas social care will interview school about her wellbeing as well as others.

This is raising a neglect/abuse red flag for me. I would report this to social services and speak to the school and tell them what you've done. That way you've covered both bases. I'd be worried. Perhaps the parents are clueless about nutrition and starving her. Children's growing bodies are very different from adult ones. Poor girl.

Speak to the school, at the very least they can see what is in her packed lunch of if she is eating her school hot lunch.

I'd put it in writing to the head and then check that the head has dealt with it (not to know what they've done but to know they have followed the procedure and it's not got lost).

Lots of safeguarding problems stem from not reporting or not checking the person you have reported it to has done anything.

You could also call SS directly, but the school should have a safeguarding policy to follow.

Please do report it. It might be nothing, but it might just help this child.

I would speak to the school and social services. sometimes you just have to go with your gut feeling on things and this looks like one of these times.

What did mum or dad say when you got through to them on the phone and when they finally picked her up? If they didn't apologise profusely and explain they'd misread the party times on the invite then I would also be concerned about that. Who doesn't pick their child up on time from a party without a good reason?

And yes, the food comments are definitely concerning. Speak to someone at school. If you had concerns about her after just a few hours I expect school have noticed things from spending every week day with her, and it will help them get a bigger picture of her home life in case they need to move things forward in terms of helping the child.