To think a 2 year old shouldn't be put in his cot for a 'Time out'

[Makeupbabes]

I'm really annoyed with my DP, my 2 year old DS smacked him on the face before & my DP got really annoyed and took him straight into his room & put him in his cot and left. I ran in there straight away & took him out of the cot he was already crying and hadn't even been in there for 5 seconds. Aibu to think this is not the right thing to do, I want my DS to think of his room & cot as a calm & relaxing place to sleep, not a bloody cage for misbehaviour, I said to my DP you should of just left the room if you were annoyed not put him in his cot, I'm really annoyed with him now & not speaking to him!
Aibu or am I just a big softie?

Yanbu. I completely agree with OP. My son(2.5) fortunately is a good sleeper now, but wasnt always! I have tried really hard to ensure his room is a nice place to be, calm, relaxing etc and many months establishing a nice stress free bed time routine swe he likes going to bed. His soft toys live in his cot and bedtime story books on the side, but he doesn't play in there (admittedly it is a tiny box room sI not much room anyway!) But I would be really cross with DH if he put DS in there for time out/punishment. The bedroom is for sleep not somewhere to associate with being told off.

When I was older (maybe 5 plus) I remember mum sending me.to my room I'd I'd been naughty. But I'd say under 3 is too young.

Which end of 2 is he? If he's nearly
3 then time out is a perfectly acceptable punishment. If he's just 2 with limited vocabulary then it might be too harsh.

I wouldn't do it myself (for the reasons of associations that you give) but at least it's a safe, comfortable and familiar place.

You can't dictate your DP's parenting but you could try to negotiate common rules? You'll have to speak to him to do that, though

I've put DD3 in her cot a few times when she's been violent to me/her sisters/the cat.

It might not be the ideal place- but it sends a much better message than making the person who was sat minding their own business before being slapped have to leave the room.

Well he had to discipline him somewhere, smacking isn't acceptable behaviour. Perhaps not in a cot but not worth the fuss and nonsense. just agree on a place for time out. You should be more annoyed at ds hitting than dh disciplining. Just discuss a suitablep place for future. As for the pp saying it's vindictive, no it's not .Smacking someone is not on and if he doesn't get disciplined now he'll keep doing it and could get a far worse reaction (eg a slap back off another child). Nip it in the bud op, give a good strong United front and decide on a different place to the cot if it upsets you so much.

I have no issues ŵith 'time out' but I was the same as you with my first born and tried to keep bed for sleep and not for punishment.
Have to say that went out the window with my extra stubborn second born! Being 'sent to her room' doesn't affect her ability to go to sleep at night.
Is he just 2 or closer to 3 as I think it makes a difference. My expectations would be different as I'd expect a nearly 3 yr old to have some understanding of right and wrong actions and to know that hitting is bad and will lead to consequences.
I think you have overreacted. 2 minutes in his cot is not going to harm him and actually if he's pushed an adult to anger then his dad has made a good call removing him from the situation to allow everyone to calm down. I'm actually glad he was crying, he should be, he hurt his dad and needs to know that's unacceptable.
You need to decide as a couple how you will deal with your child's misbehaviour as this is not going to be that last time he does something he Shouldn't!

I have no issue with time out for a child who is closer to 3 than 2 but agree with you op that a bedroom should be a safe place, a sanctuary. I hate seeing children sent to their bedrooms as punishment for this reason. We have sometimes asked our ds to go to his room to calm down and come to speak to us when he is calm, which is very different to being banished there as punishment. I think your dh could have given a time out in a different place, but agree with others who have said you undermined him.

You don't credit your dd with much intelligence.

Even little children are smart enough to understand the difference in being put in bed because of bad behaviour making the bed a time out spot, and being put in bed for sleep time making it a restful spot.

I think you overreacted and completely undermined your DP but we all do shit like this accidentally when focused on the 'right' way to do stuff in relation to the kids.

Fundamentally I feel that people grossly underestimate how sophisticated a 18mth olds thinking and understanding can be.

Sorry DS!

YABU and undermined your partner's parenting by 'running' to your child.

I do agree the area was a bad choice, but a step isn't that much better is it.

I see no problem with what your husband did and I would do it myself and probably have done. Sometimes young children need to be saved form hurting themselves as well as others and the cot is a safe place to do that.

underminded? please ignore me

For the record I put my 20mth old in the cot tonight to keep her safe and stop her from aggressively attacking her 3yr old brother who was getting upset. It was a punishment too but mostly because my arms were full with my 5mth old who I was giving a bottle. She raged and screamed the place down she was so furious about it. 15 mins later I put her back in for bedtime. She smiled, blew a kiss and said night night and has been asleep since.

Even children under 2 can understand the difference.