to think the school are not doing enough ?

[woollyandtig]

Sorry in advance this is long but I need some perspective on it .

Dd (7) has had a ruff time at school since she started we moved her schools just over 2 years ago as she has suspected aspergers and the school she was at was rubbish . 5 kids from her class of 22 over so not just us that thought so .

Anyway her new school is brilliant she loves it as do we she made friends very quickly including 2 little girls I will call Kate and Rose (not their real names) . Kate and Roses mums and me become friendly but after a bbq last summer me and dh decided to distance our selves from the mothers , we remained friendly as in chit chat at pick off and drop off time but no longer done things socially outside of school.
They didn't take this well and basically started a campaign of hate against us and dd . Kate mum would talk about me point and laugh in playground and other childish stuff their dds alienated dd from her friends and bullied her for having "autism" . Rose punched me in the face one break time through the gates when I went round to check on dd .
We made efforts to avoid them we went diffrent route into school (through an alleyway as opposed to front gate ). But it didn't help kates dad followed us to our street at end of august threatening dh, we stupidly didn't report to police but did inform the school.
Things from then on where tense mates dad enter to jail start of September he was charged with attempted murder but given the fact he got out this month I assume it was changed to a lesser charge . He was just out of jail at time of his other offence.

So fast forward to 5 weeks ago . Dh drops dd of at school in the car drives home and kates mum is waiting outside the main door of our flat . She screams abuse at him which I hear all of as he phoned as soon as he saw her . She threatens to kill me once baby is born at this point I was 39 weeks pregnant she follows him up to our front door and continues screaming and swearing and issuing threats dh is a dead man once her husband gets out of jail etc. She only leaves when I threaten to phone police . After she leaves we go out in car as to be honest I was too scared to stay at home ,dd2 (2) is distraught we calm her down and head straight to police station to report it they are excellent but she hides from them so they can't charge her .3 weeks later we collect dd from school with 2 week old baby and 2 year old kates husband is there his first day out of jail he tells us not to phone police again or else , we are in front of school office at time so we ask teacher holding door if she heard it she didn't but by this tate the two of then are screaming at us and threatening to get us at our house or in the alleyway . We get ushered unto school office where abuse continues for 5 minutes with her also calling dd names and making her cry . Head teacher try to get them to leave deputy is on phone to police at this point , they only leave when they here police sirens .
Sorry forgot to add that same morning this lady has went into dds school just outside school office and told her whole class ti stay away from my dd :( she's an very big intimidating woman and dd was understandably scare , it's hard to explain but the look and crazy eyes she has are frightening.
They school know nothing about this instance as teacher was busy in office . Is it acceptable for kids to be left unattended on their grounds with a person they know has angry issues ?
They school have been appalling so far in making dd feel safe , we can't use alleyway again incase her husband is their and she stands at front gate as if to stop us using that . What are we supposed to do ?dd hasn't been in school since the last incident 2 weeks ago I'm too scared to leave the house she drives up our street repeatedly for no apparent reason .

Surely the school can ban her from the grounds ?
The police have charged her and her dh and have been very helpful they went as far as having a police officer present for a week after the first incident.

What can we do ? Dd is terrified to go back she hasn't been sleeping or eating she is a mess. The school dont seem to be taking it seriously at all , we called to arrange a meeting and they wanted us to go round at 10 to 3 , a time they know kates mum is usually at school from and when we told them as much the answer was I though you's could do anytime :s .
Am I expecting to much or is their more they can do ?

[lavenderdoilly]

This is a hate crime if they are bringing religion into it. Catholic myself and know a few parts of UK (not just NI) where this has been an issue particularly connected with football - genuinely didn’t think people still got up to this sort of crap any more - they'd find something else.How naive am I? It's juvenile nasty bollocks that takes on a more sinister tone when it's adults. If moving out of the area is an option I'd seriously consider it. No one should put up with this shit.

[soapboxqueen]

Then I think you need to make a formal complaint to the head asking why members of the public can walk unhindered into school buildings. That is absolutely a safeguarding issue and they are entirely responsible for that. She shouldn't have been there and the children should not have been left unattended. They should have called the police themselves.

[woollyandtig]

lavenderdoilly sadly there are still a lot of small minded people out there we are in a part of uk where football and religion go hand in hand sadly. We will be moving as soon as we possible can but realistically that might not be for a few months and Slough dd finishes for school hols I next month I still don't want her to miss that much school.

[woollyandtig]

soapboxqueen thanks I will make a complaint I wasn't sure if I was over reacting to that event but it truely shocked me though since only witnesses where dds class how likely are they to take it seriously ?

[woollyandtig]

Just remembered that head teacher acknowledged that the woman was in the building as she spoke to her afterwards to tell school to keep my dd away from hers

[DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease]

Have you thought about contacting your local housing association for help with moving? Some charities (and maybe councils)help with advance rent and deposit to help people secure safe housing. Could you book an appointment with the CAB to get some advice on this?

Does any of your communication with the police have details of your local victim support service? If not, see if you can get their details and get in touch with them.

I think it would be useful for you to follow up conversations and meetings with the school with a letter or email, so that everything has a paper trail.

What a stressful situation for you all. These people sound awful, and though you shouldn't have to, it would appear to be in your best interests to move and start again elsewhere, unless the parents end up being forced to leave you alone, by being recalled to prison, or a restraining order.

Make sure you report and keep your own records of each incident of criminal damage, threats and harassment. You should definitely report both car damage incidents to the police-' it's too unlikely to be a coincidence, even if you don't have any evidence that they did it, it'll all help to paint picture of the seriousness, frequency, and impact of these people on your lives.

Congratulations on your new baby. I'm sorry for your family that all this is happening - some people are horrible human beings.

[soapboxqueen]

She shouldn't be in the school full stop unless officially signed in and even then the school are still responsible for what happens. The children can at the very least verify she was there. The school must absolutely take accusations of failure to safeguard children seriously. It is one of the few areas Ofsted can get directly involved with but I'm not sure as to the specific criteria so don't get your hopes up that they will intervein in your case.

People seem to forget that the explosion in school security in the last 30 years has never really been about keeping children in (though it has been a benefit) . It's about keeping other people out. The school have failed here.