If you need anything just ask

[ToxicBits]

Aibu to think no fucker actually means it when they say this and it's nothing but a platitude where the person who says it secretly hopes no one takes them up on it?

Depends where you shop...Gucci where the staff are in commission probably yes...

Aldi where the staff have to unload 300 loaves in a nanosecond or get sacked...probably no.

I agree with you but I have no idea whether we are BU or not.

I often find myself baffled at platitudes. Meet ups, coffee, dinner. Chats we "need to have".

None of it materialises. People are fuckers.

Oh yes the "we must catch up some time for coffee" again why say it if you don't mean it? Especially to someone who could really do with going for a coffee at that moment in time.

I do wonder if I have autistic leanings due to my black and white outlook on life and lack of understanding of social nuances

I'm lost. Shopping? Gucci?

I'd definitely be lost If I was in gucci I'm more of an aldi shopper myself

I only say it if I mean it. I have been taken up on it too, and happily so.

I do wonder if I have autistic leanings due to my black and white outlook on life and lack of understanding of social nuances

Same here.

If I say it, I mean it.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

I tend to mean it if I say it too

BIL and Poisonous SIL say this to people they meet on holiday. "Ooh, we must meet up when we get home"

I always used to feel like tracking the poor buggers down and shouting "MOVE NOW WHILST YOU ARE STILL FREE" as BIL/SIL would always make arrangements and go and stay with the poor sods.

Then again, those who visited in return were also a bit odd, so maybe that's just curmudgeonly me and they were all really good friends immediately

I say that a lot. And I mean it, I wouldn't say it if I didn't.

This last fortnight I have said it to Best Friend with new baby, other Friend with abusive cockwomble OH and another Friend who is in hospital!

If at any time the above ring me, day or night - I would go to them!

I tend to only say it to those I would actually feel comfortable doing a favour for

I've said it and meant it.

I say it. And I reinforce it.

Several friends have taken me up on it so they know I mean it.

I mean what I say and say what i mean bit then get confused that others don't.

Eg I have mh issues Inc insomnia myself I have a few friends with similar issues ive said to them anytime call honestly but nobody has taken me up on yet, I also have had people say we must meet up and do x/y/z but it doesnt always happen. Why say it then?

I also have lovely friends who've said the same to me, one I took up on the 'call anytime' when I was very ill and she meant it and was wonderfully supportive, she then went through crap herself a year later (physical health issue but very worrying and wee small hours are when you stress the most) I was really happy to be able to return the favour, not happy she was ill/stressing but that I could support her, hmm digging hole stop!

Same as pirate, I say it, I mean it and I do it.

I don't say anything I don't mean. If I offer help I expect to be taken up on it, you either need to get better friends or not judge the ones you have by these standards.

I don't say what I don't mean. I do say this sometimes and I always mean it. I'm delighted when someone takes me up on it.

I have never been called on.

Well, actually, a few times years ago I remember taking things to friends in hospital (two friends a few months apart). I even drove one's husband the 50 mile round trip so he could see her.

But then I got really bad depression and anxiety and honestly, I didn't have one friend who I could have counted on. They all left me to it. Some even blamed me and had a go because I hadn't done this or that. I did tell them, it wasn't like I kept it all in.

Now I just wonder if I am missing something and actually I am difficult to be around even when not depressed. I don't know. My head is a jumble with it.

I just can't decipher it sometimes. It feels like a secret no one let me in on.

Like a relative of DH's is getting married. When I congratulated her she said oh you will have to give me all your tips and knowledge (from our wedding) and she then said the same thing to another family member about me, who then told me she said this.

I haven't a clue if I am just supposed to call her up and talk weddings...surely she would actually ask a question or something? And if she doesn't mean it, why say it to me AND another person?

I am really intelligent...but this shit messes with my head!

Liz I could have written that post.

My dh is in hospital at the moment and lots of people have said the "if you need anything..." I've called a couple for a chat and been fobbed off. I got stuck at work so I asked if one (a sahm) could pick my dc up, got fobbed off even though they were picking up from the same school.

I have realised I will be spending bank holiday weekend completely on my own bar hospital visits. I feel so isolated but I don't know how I'm going wrong

That is crap OP.

I hope your DH is on the mend?

I would happily help anyone in your situation. If anyone asked me.