to be really bloody irritated at all my exH's gf's posts about autism?

[FedupofbeingtoldIcantusemyname]

Ok that might sound a bit complicated but basically I'm 'friends' on FB with exH's gf (let's call her X) - only to keep contact with them/him when they have the dc's as exH basically refuses to speak to me and I've got more chance of getting hold of him through her.

NB - one of our dc's is severely autistic.

X often posts things on FB, and every bloody time something comes up about autism she likes and shares it - it feels extremely 'LOOK AT ME I'M SO ACCEPTING OF MY BOYFRIEND'S SON'.

I think this is a good thing. She might be over egging it but at least she's trying to understand it. Maybe she thinks it will help you accept her. So much better than ignoring it!

How do you know the posts she's sharing are about your child?

Given that she's stepping up where your children's father is failing, and facilitating contact when they're with their dad because he refuses to do so, I'd be inclined to think a bit more kindly of her than you currently do.

If you look at it a positive way she is accepting and I assume your ds is happy to be with at his dad's? So no problem.

Maybe being around your ds has made her more aware of autism and she posts them things because she thinks it will help educate other people.

Sorry, I hadn't finished writing and for some reason every fucking time I post it creates a duplicate! See my other thread for more details..

The problem is that neither of them have seen the dc's since November, exH even lied to me to avoid seeing DC1 on his birthday because he's a fucking disgusting person and has not even deigned to phone them in over 2 months.

So when I see 'share if you love someone with autism' blah blah blah all over FB, as if to make him out to be father of the year it makes me bloody furious.

Aibu to think that if either of them cared at all about either of the dc's they would actually make the effort to phone or visit them once in a fucking while, not broadcasting all over FB about how much they apparently care?

I would unfollow her/them, they stay on your friends list but don't come up on your newsfeed.

FB is all fur coat and no knickers with this type of stuff, people like to big themselves up but it doesn't make it true.

Make your own meme.

A sunrise with the caption "share if you've bothered to see your DS with autism in the last two months"

Then post it as a comment next time she posts.

Nice one, Laura :D

Ooh thats good Laura, how do I make a meme

They haven't seen your dcs since fucking November
That changes everything. YANBU. What cunts they are!
Yes, please please do what Laura suggests.

I've made you a meme 😬

If you want to make your own, just google 'meme generator' and loads will come up.

There's another

Love the meme.

I would put the anger where it belongs, with your feckless, lazy, uncaring ex. The GF, I would forgive. Her heart's in the right place and her only real issue is having crap taste in men.

YANBU this was what my admittedly bewildered sister started doing after my DS was diagnosed with ASD. It drove me batshit with inexplicable rage. She was either filling my mother's head with illogical pure bullshit about ASD or writing this nonsense up on Facebook. To be fair my other family members just ignored the diagnosis so i should be grateful that at least she made the effort to acknowledge it.

Your ex is a twat and to be fair that is not his GF fault but she really should try to raise her standards. He is the issue though not her. maybe I should take my own advice and channel my disquiet in the right direction

Haha, those are great!! I especially like the grumpy cat, that's a nice touch

I am absolutely angry with my ex. Her, not so much but she is the one sharing the stuff so in my head she is partly responsible. Plus they have a baby now who is our dc's half brother so you think they'd make more of an effort. He has just apparently dropped off the face of the planet but she keeps sharing 'world's best dad' hoodies and stuff on FB which also makes me incandescent with rage. I don't honestly know how anyone can be so stupid. Actually maybe I can because exH is one of the world's best bullshitters but I'm still cross.

Well the follow up makes a lot more sense. I'm sorry for your DC. November is pretty crap.

Can you unfollow for your sanity?

YANBU to find it very annoying or whatever helps, but may be best to bite your tongue with her and focus your anger on trying to get your ex to live up to his responsibilities. It must be really distressing for you that your DCs haven't seen him for so long. IME (as a stepmum in my case, though they are grown up now) it rarely helps to drag the step-parents into the row unless they are likely to be a force to improve things.

I probably could, and should, but its one of those situations where I'd rather know whats going on than stay ignorant, even if it doesn't directly affect me.

You can unfollow and follow at will whilst remaining 'friends'. It just means you can choose not to have her twaddle inflicted in real time.