Alright, bit of back story, my mother has always been a bit...emotional...and she's also an expert gaslighter so that you always end up feeling guilty and like crap for making her fly off the handle about something inconsequential.
She's extremely jealous of my PIL's, although we only see them twice a year and frankly I can't stand seeing them (but that's another story). We see my DP's every month to month and a 1/2. Despite seeing the PIL's so rarely every time we do it ends up in a massive row because somehow we've been "unfair" to my DP's. Last time it was because we didn't rush over to their house before going to the airport in the morning to say goodbye to them, even though we'd been with them the whole day before and said our goodbyes that night. (PIL's and DP's live in same country, we live in a different one. When we go to said country we stay at PIL's because they have extra room but make sure we spend equal time with DP's. which we did this time).
This time PIL's came to see us at ours. My mother started in right away asking when they were leaving, why we hadn't left their hotel yet, etc. (She says we leave the hotel first thing in the morning when they stay, which is a lie, we leave after them). Managed to control that.
Yesterday DH put up a new profile picture of his parents with our kids on Facebook. My mother went off the deep end saying it was unfair that I hadn't done the same thing the last time they were there (frankly I always put pictures up but their hadn't been any good ones and I've recently started wearing a bikini again and didn't think I looked good and didn't want to put them up). I told her that I had nothing to do with DH changing his profile picture (didn't even know he'd done it). But once again I'm ungrateful and unfair.
At first I was of the opinion that she was overreacting, but the more she goes on about how I hurt her (she says them but I know my father probably doesn't even know she's saying this to me) the more I wonder if AIBU?