Was My Reaction Ok? What Now?

[picklypopcorn]

So I've been having some major issues with anxiety at the moment and my reactions to things can't be trusted especially where work is involved. This stems from being passed over for a promotion in January and I still haven't fully got my head together yet (panic attacks, general over-reaction to little things etc) can you guys read this email for me and tell me if it sounds like my boss is using the fact I've told her I want to move forward in my career as a kind of threat? Initially it made me panicked and also angry but I recognize that I'm not responding to things in proportion at the moment. People IRL just tend to join in in my outrage when I talk to them which doesn't help, I need mumsnet straight talking!

I've changed some bits that might be outing but the language use is all the same. The tasks are not originally done by me, the "my responsibility" is checking for errors in other peoples work.

I just wanted to highlight a couple of issues with * my responsibility that I’ve had feedback on recently. A couple of different remote managers have highlighted that they’ve seen issues in work that they’ve received, despite this work having gone through the my responsibility process. These errors have been technical issues which should be really easy to find. This is disappointing as it negates all the hard work we’ve put in over time to ensure that the remote managers both respect the process, but value us as meticulous about our quality. It’s also starting to impact our reputation as insert business objective *. If you want to be the manager of this team, it will be your responsibility to ensure that the quality is 100% perfect, and at the moment it isn’t. Just something to think about as I know your keen to progress.

Let me know if you’re struggling with * my responsibility and need support (I’m always here to help); or whether your workload in general is impacting your my responsibility *, but it’s absolutely imperative that we cut out these errors. There’s still time to turn it around at the moment but we need to start now.

Give me a shout if you want to discuss, or if you need my support with anything at all.

I've checked back over all the emails sent this afternoon and can't find the errors I've made, so I replied:

Thanks for the feedback. I understand the importance of * my responsibility and obviously any oversights shouldn’t happen. Can you let me know the types of tasks/ any regular tasks I’m missing errors on? I had no training when I started my responsibility * so it would be really useful to get feedback on the errors I’ve missed so I know to look for them next time.

Firstly, is her email shitty or is it my imagination? Also, was my response shitty? She has a direct input on my career progression, I have a reputation for being a good worker and meticulous normally so this has knocked me for six.

Help!

I wouldn't put yourself under the extra stress of a face to face at the moment. See what her reply is. As PP said this could well be her way of getting you ready to take the job

Just to agree with many others - I think this is a Great email to receive from a boss.

I also think I would send this, and a discussion of the actual errors, separately so they don't get muddled - so I don't think she's not being helpful necessarily

Your email is great and I would definitely follow it up with an arranged meeting to discuss the errors specifically so you can ensure the your responsibility process is up to muster as clearly it is of critical importance to the business.

As nanawife said.....it's all good :)

Thanks guys, feeling much lighter! Knew Mumsnet was the answer!

I agree, I think her email is helpful and respectful, as is your reply.

I'd be sooo tempted to point out that her first paragraph has an error. Your/ you're

Are you getting help for the anxiety? CBT is good. Also there's a website called moodgym that has some useful things. You are absolutely right that anxiety can effect your judgement and it has a horrible way of being self-perpetuating ie: you get anxious in a particular situation and then you get anxious next time because you worry you're going to be anxious again. There are some really good techniques for getting on top of it. Sorry - I know that wasn't your question but though it might help. Also agree with consensus that both emails were fine.

Glad you are feeling better.

It might help to remember that there is a difference between criticism (you are bad) and feedback (you need to improve this thing).

Feedback isn't personal, it doesn't mean that you are rubbish at your job or that you boss doesn't like you or rate you. No one is ever perfect, there is always room for improvement.

IME the best colleagues are the ones that regularly ask for feedback and seek to improve. They also tend to profess fastest.

I think your idea of a meeting was a good one. Go in all bright and smiley if you can, thank her for the feedback, work through the specific issues and ask for advice if you need it.

She'll respect you for taking her note on board in a positive way.

Alice that would not be career enhancing.

Actually what I read is that she wanted to make a point to pout you back in your place, I've you want a promotion and be at the head of the team but are unable to pick up very simple mistakes. What the heck are you thinking?

I also agree that her email has one big issue with it. She highlights issues that you don't know anything about AND say nothing about exactely which issues they are. So either these issues aren't real issues or she hasn't actually done the feedback she needed to do, which isn't a good point for her.

Your email was spot on.

These are the sentences I have an issue with
If you want to be the manager of this team, it will be your responsibility to ensure that the quality is 100% perfect, and at the moment it isn’t. Just something to think about as I know your keen to progress.

But Happy later in the email she says that there is still time to turn the situation around if action is taken quickly and offers her help and support. That doesn't in any way jibe with wanting to put the OP 'in her place'.

I have managed teams for years and I've never wanted too it a staff member 'in their place' if my team look good, I look good. I (along with every other manager I know) want happy, effective staff who are doing a good job and will develop their careers and be fit the company by doing so.

In general people aren't out to get get you.

Put it this way, even if it was a precursor to getting rid (which I absolutely don't think it is) then you also have written "evidence" of identifying a training need/gap that you've highlighted.

I also think your response was perfect

happy yeah I'm inclined to thing that's not a thing, I'm not at all the type of person you'd ever want to 'put in their place', far from it, I very rarely raise my head above the parapet. The manager in question is also not like that at all, she's actually pretty good and a nice person, not careerist or pushy at all

I think your response was absolutely fine- perhaps even ask for the specific examples mentioned in the email, so that you can see where the concern stems from and address the problem.

However, somebody sending an email outlining concerns about errors slipping through the checking process ought to have checked her own grammar first. It's a little hypocritical to complain that a colleague is not meticulous when the written complaint uses 'your' instead of 'you're'. (I'd also argue that your manager's message includes questionable use of a semi-colon to shore up a toppling hulk of a sentence,as well as a clunky conjunction choice). In your shoes, I think I'd probably want to see the mistakes you're accused of making.

Shakey makes an excellent point about you identifying a training need.

Perhaps your follow up email could be proactive in asking for training specific to this issue? Could you tell your manager that you fully understand the importance of meeting this responsibility, and therefore you would like to request training? Ideally, the training would be conducted by the person with responsibility for training in this role, and would include your specific errors and guidance about how to avoid them in future.