To think the current benefits system sets single parents up to commit fraud?

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

I am a single parent, I'm currently a student and earn a small amount from self employment, so receive some housing benefit, CTC, WTC and CB.

Let's say, hypothetically, my bf moved in with me (there is no real danger of that happening for a very long time, but let's pretend). He earns £50k a year. If he moved in, as far as the system would see it, my children are his children, and therefore he would be jointly financially responsible for them. I would instantly lose all of my benefits, leaving me around £1100 a month worse off. This would leave me in a position of being no longer financially independent, and feeling like I had to go to him, cap in hand, to ask for money. Money, which often would be spent buying things for my kids.

My bf is a very nice chap and all that, but I doubt he'd cough up a grand a month to provide for me and my children. I doubt there's many blokes that would. His dd would also lose out, as through suddenly having gained two extra children, the maintenance she is entitled to would go right down.

Bearing all this in mind, I can see why many single parents are tempted to move their partner in 'on the sly'. Of course this is very risky, but only for the single parent (usually the female). As the benefits claimant it is the single parent who will be prosecuted, the partner they'd moved in would have no repercussions, even though no doubt they'd done quite well in terms of their own living costs, probably chipping in a token amount towards food and bills.

I think this makes it very hard for single parents to ever have a serous relationship, unless they happened to be a high earner themselves, so benefits weren't an issue. Or I suppose if both adults were on benefits, as they wouldn't lose out there. I'm not sure what the answer is, other than a citizens wage (which will never happen).

Awake - I'm pretty sure that what you have described is what most women would want to aim for, but unfortunately, things do not always go to plan.

I feel very lucky to live in a country where I am able to have the assistance of tax credits and housing benefit etc as a lone parent in order to have the same income as a family with two parents. To be fair, I think that I have more disposable income than a lot of my friends who are in two parent families.

And we haven't even touched upon single parent families where the other parent is no longer around for maintenance to even exist

I feel very lucky to live in a country where I am able to have the assistance of tax credits and housing benefit etc as a lone parent in order to have the same income as a family with two parents. To be fair, I think that I have more disposable income than a lot of my friends who are in two parent families.

That's not great, is it?

Just as an aside, if anyone wants to know what they're entitled to when someone moves in they should go to the turn2us website. You can compare what you are currently entitled to with what you would be entitled to with a partner and its usually pretty accurate if you put the correct info in.

Redhen - Like you , a lot of my lone parent colleagues appear to have a lot more disposable income than many 2 parent families. They are usually the ones who have good amounts of maintainence, then tax credits on top and help from family for childcare or older children.

Apple - It is for me! I don't drive and so do not have the expense of 1/2 cars like they do. I'm also renting rather than owning my own home and so while they are paying mortgages now and HB pays my rent, when we're older and the children leave home and I have to work FT and pay my rent, they should have their mortgage paid and therefore no mortgage/rent to pay.

Babyroobs - I get zero maintenance.

Apple you say that's not great, why do you say that? Do you think single parents should be struggling? On the breadline?

It all depends on your circumstances. Not all single parent or two parent families have the same set of circumstances.

The two parent family might be paying into a large mortgage, they might have more/less children, they might have debts or cars on finance.

Cross post with redhen

What aload rubbish. If your DP wants to move in his wages support the household as well including any children who live there. Why would you think it's acceptable to get all the benefits tax payers pay into if your DP earns 50 k that's more than enough than average families so he could support his children and yours. Surely this is about a friend not the actual OP

It depends on where you live and how many kids as to whether 50K is "more than enough" to support a family

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'On you'

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I'm not sure about coming cap in hand to receive tax credits and benefits, from my own personal experience, it's more like the money is being throw at you

God I hate when you type a long post and loose it :)

awake agree women should aim to be self sufficient, for me it is no longer possible as DP and I are trying for a baby. I have waited a very long time to have a baby (am 38) to make sure that should anything happen to the person I decided to make a life with I would survive on my own if I needed too.

So whilst when I moved in initially I contributed fully financially not that DP needed me too but now since loosing my job I cannot actually do this. I contribute equally in different ways.

For me if I had got pregnant and actually had a baby then great I would get MP and then could decide to be SAHM - with DP supporting or go back to work.

Hasn't worked like this for me/us have just last month experienced miscarriage number 5, and the emotional toll and physical stress is extreme to say the least. I have now taken the decision to stop working for a while as to try and keep a very senior position with the hormonal changes alone is difficult! Not to mention if I do succeed I would now start a new job only to have to leave and this could destroy my creditability in my industry I actually lost my job as I got fired, of course nothing to do with the fact I took three weeks off for miscarriage number 3 which is was particularly distressing. But some excuse... Was awful.

A little off point but the effects of fertility do really effect women's career options.

But from the day I moved in our "resources" we're pooled you just become a family, it is not my money or his money it is "our money" and I can't understand why anyone would want to have a partner actually move in with them and the most precious thing your ever have if the new partner doesn't want to support them and their children... I just can't get my head around this!

As for NRP not paying maintenance we don't go after the DC mother as she is on benefits and for the hassle it's just not worth it for £5 I think someone said... IMO and personal experience and after talking to other "step" mums women who leave tend to do so with a sense of entitlement almost and don't feel they should pay! My father mind you was the same he had two houses, two cars, two pedigree dogs and on the rare occasion he did see me he would spend more on lunch than my mum had for food for a fortnight. He was ordered to pay £5 a fortnight and my mum recieved a grand total of £250. My mum had three jobs used public transport and brought clothes from the charity shop - NRP like this should be made an example of and yes they should pay for their DC

That felt really good to get out :)

Sorry to hear that kittens, hope you get the baby you want soon

Thank you, we will get there!

I didn't mean to kill the thread! Was just a good example of how fertility affects women's careers.

I was a single mum on benefits when I met my current DH and we both knew I wouldn't qualify for anything (except carer's allowance) if we moved in together. He is a high earner so is well over the CB threshold as well, and I don't receive maintenance as ex is dead. But it wasn't an issue at all, we both expected that DH would provide for the household as the main earner and he has never had any problems with sharing his salary as family money.

I would not have accepted any other arrangement, and I don't feel I need to go to him cap in hand (I have full access to finances) or that I need to be more careful with money than I used to be. To me that's just how a family ought to be run, everything should be equal regardless of who has earned what or whatever the genetic relationships are. I don't consider myself to be financially dependent, more that I am playing a different role to DH in the family but one that is just as valuable. DH doesn't consider us a financial burden, as for him there is more value in being part of our family.

DH had no dc of his own when we met and once we were living together he assumed responsibility my older DS, and doesn't treat him any differently to the DS we have together. We were very committed though and we'd been in a relationship for six years and got married before I moved in with him though.

The UK Benefits System allows couples to commit benefit fraud. It is becoming more and more acceptable for couples to declare theydo not live together - with the earner taking on a different address (usualy his mothers) whilst his partner claim to be a single parent and claims single parent benefit to pay for his kids. Even worse is that they go on to reproduce and think it s still fine to declare they do not live together in an affort to further claim benefits. Whatever happened good old fashioned values and good morals?

Get a job and pay your own way in life. And where is the children's father(s)? does he not contributre

Helpful, kitkat, thanks. Perhaps you should RTFT?

Kittens, I have a child and a dog, unlike my son, the dogs doesn't require shoes, school uniforms, additional tutorials, dentist attention, be taken to school or after school child care. So really, thinking that you can simply merge financial resources because you did it, when the only big financial responsibility towards an individual is a frogging cat is just... Surreal

I agree fluffy - I am in a FB group for single parents and there was a woman on there who already has dc, but is pregnant with her new partner. They are going to carry on living apart even when the baby comes, because they can't afford to live together. So she will then get extra benefits for the new baby even though she is in a relationship with the father.

Oh dear Kitkat... Just for the record, you can't get tax credits if you don't work. And as many smug former SAHMs have been able to prove, Former husbands are often less than reliable.