AIBU To Worry About Centaurs?

[TiggyD]

If they've got the bodies of horses, presumably they'll need to eat like horses? But will the human end enjoy eating tons of hay and oats and apples and polos? And the quantity of food through a little human mouth will be an issue. And the there's the poo. If they eat horse food, fine. Horse poo is dry and comes out the bum in dry lump, but if the centaur eats human food, sausage-egg-n-chips etc, the poo will be more human won't it? Bit more splatty and sticky? How will they wipe their bums? Their horse parts are long and their arms won't reach. (In the photos I've seen).
And then there's genitals. They'll need to cover them up, especially the males who'll have enormous winkles. But how do you put trousers on their horse areas? Would they cover the rear end and rear legs? Or would they come up from the ground on the front AND rear legs. And do you go under the tail or over and leave a tail hole? And how will the get them on? It's the little arms again.
I believe they have as much right to exist as the next mythical being, but are we prepared for them in this country?

[Roobix04]

Have you people never seen Fantasia? Of course there are female centaurs!

[EllenJanethickerknickers]

TiggyD, you've made the roundup! But someone thinks you're a lady.

[TiggyD]

It's an easy mistake to make. And I don't consider it an insult.

So made round up. The next stage is...

Dear Matthew Wright,
I'm so glad your programme is taking on the sensitive subject of centaurs in the world today and the increase in centaurism. Could I suggest Ray Mears be on the panel as he's probably spent some time living with a herd of them somewhere. Not that tiny curly hair comedian with glasses though. (Dominic somebody?) I like to watch your show naked and can feel his keen eyes virtually coming out the screen to stare at me. 'Tis very creepy.

Tiggy OBE

x

[OnYerBikePan]

"Pan has the hindquarters, legs, and horns of a goat, in the same manner as a faun or satyr"

Ever so proud.

[JasperDamerel]

I did wonder about Umbrage. I was shocked at first but then decided that JK Rowling couldn't actually have meant that and they probably just beat her up or something.

[HandFinisher]

I'm now imagining Umbridge giving birth to a centaur baby and trying to work out:

A. The logistics of the birth
and
B. Whether it would make her a little less of a bitch in the future

[BoyFromTheBigBadCity]

Surely she's too old?

[Didactylos]

its reverse centaurs you really have to worry about

[MerdTheFuck]

... You mean sruatnecs?

[HandFinisher]

Well centaurs are magical... And how old is Umbridge anyway? I always imagined her as mid to late 40s... So it could still be possible for her to conceive...

[NeededANameChangeAnyway]

Satyrs seem to have too many joints though - hip to a human bending knee then backwards like a horse knee (kneekle?) then down to a horse ankle. I think if centuars have been ruled out on weird internal anatomy then surely this applies to satyrs?

[NeededANameChangeAnyway]

Oops. I was so distracted by the too many joints I didnt see the enormous willy....

[Roobix04]

Don't worry Namechange it happens to the best of us.

[NeededANameChangeAnyway]

On mermaids as mammals every picture I've seen has them with scales although the fin bit of the tail does go the mammal way so up and down rather than side to side. Guess you can do what the hell you want if you're a supernatural being.

[littleGreenDragon]

I always thought Satyrs were all half goats - hence the horns.

So thanks to this thread went off an goggled turn out there are two types around - goat/man ones and horse/man - though both types seemed to have enormous willies.

[crankyblob]

Namechange is it wrong that that was the first thing I noticed??

[shinynewusername]

Then there's the whole accessibility thing of needing bigger lifts and more Parent/Child/Foals parking spaces

Now you're just being facetious. Have you never heard of Centaur Parks?

[bolleauxnouveau]

At least now I know where the poster on another thread got the idea of fetlock tugging from.

[Janecc]

Me too Cranky.

[HermioneWeasley]

Dammit, someone beat me to "we're all half centaur". I offer this instead

[BoyFromTheBigBadCity]

Right, would a french centaur be obliged to eat horse at a dinner party?

[shinynewusername]

would a french centaur be obliged to eat horse at a dinner party?

Night mare..

[thatorchidmoment]

SlinkyVagabond

I believe 'perverted deities' re. Greek pantheon is a tautology.





Awesome thread.

Loving Centaur Parcs.

[tiredvommachine]

< Goes off to Google mermaid porn >

[tiredvommachine]

Regrets it