AIBU To Worry About Centaurs?

[TiggyD]

If they've got the bodies of horses, presumably they'll need to eat like horses? But will the human end enjoy eating tons of hay and oats and apples and polos? And the quantity of food through a little human mouth will be an issue. And the there's the poo. If they eat horse food, fine. Horse poo is dry and comes out the bum in dry lump, but if the centaur eats human food, sausage-egg-n-chips etc, the poo will be more human won't it? Bit more splatty and sticky? How will they wipe their bums? Their horse parts are long and their arms won't reach. (In the photos I've seen).
And then there's genitals. They'll need to cover them up, especially the males who'll have enormous winkles. But how do you put trousers on their horse areas? Would they cover the rear end and rear legs? Or would they come up from the ground on the front AND rear legs. And do you go under the tail or over and leave a tail hole? And how will the get them on? It's the little arms again.
I believe they have as much right to exist as the next mythical being, but are we prepared for them in this country?

[HoneyDragon]

Aren't Centaurs the offspring of gods so are reproduced by heads exploding or chopping of a testicle and lobbing it in a daffodil or something?

I mean before we consider letting them live in the UK and providing parking spaces we'd have a job issuing passports, and NI numbers.

[BIWI]

I've clearly had too much gin. I'll come back to this thread tomorrow.

[LizaLemon]

Yabu, my sister's brother's sister is a centaur and she's lovely I can't believe you'd be so rude and stereotype a WHOLE BREED.

So much hatred and mockery on this thread

[BazingaBaby]

Haha fab thread! I'd worry about other kids meanly trying to ride the centaur kids tbh!!

[Nimble2014]

Refugees, European migrants and now centaurs. This country is going to Cerberus!

[exWifebeginsat40]

it's all very well having two stomachs, but if you've still only got one bumhole you're not really out of the woods.

[exWifebeginsat40]

unlike those dryads, amirite?

[ISaySteadyOn]

DH and I have had many conversations about this. Centaurs don't work.

Merpeople, however, are mammalian. They are related to dolphins which is why they need to surface every so often and sailors see them. They have dolphin tails and give birth to live young which they bf hence why mermaids have breasts(mammary glands thus mammals).

And yes, I have completely overthought this and thoroughly enjoyed myself doing so.

[Pettywoman]

I thought they liked yoghurt.
www.google.co.uk/search?q=centaur+yoghurt+advert&oq=yoghurt+centau&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l3.15498j0j4&client=ms-android-zte&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

[ThroughThinkandThing]

iklboo and vampires, but not the stupid twilight version.

[TheWizardOfOs]

How do lady centaurs breastfeed? With their human boobs or horse udders?

Or do the just formula feed?

[coughingbean]

"The father of the race of centaurs was Centaurus, himself the offspring of Ixion who had made love to Hera, or more precisely, a cloud made by a jealous Zeus to resemble Hera. The centaurs were believed to live in the forests of Thessaly, beyond the laws of man"
beyond the laws of man
So presumably they can eat all the crap they like and poo it out in a seemingly fashion?

HTH

[TalcAndTurnips]

As pointed out up there ^

they have six limbs so they might be insects.

This may lead to the speculation that there is an egg - pupa - imago life cycle type scenario. Given the horsey nature of 66% of a centaur, would a centaur caterpillar be large, brown and hairy with a gigantic knob?

I for one would heartily approve of this state of affairs and will be voting YES in the forthcoming Centaur Referendum.

[JesusInTheCabbageVan]

TiggyD That centaur appears to be wanking. Which opens up a whole other can of worms.

[timelytess]

OP, you can worry about centaurs if you like. There are more beings in the world than people will admit.

I met a satyr recently. I have to say, I was shocked and a bit scared, but he turned out to be absolutely charming and I got away unscathed.

[HoneyDragon]

See coughingbean has validated my comment that Centaurs are the product of godly perverts.

[coughingbean]

Yup

[HoneyDragon]

No that's not right a godly pervert would be a monk in a gimp mask.

Perverted deities? Does that sound right?

[coughingbean]

Yeshoneydragon perverted deities, i believe is the correct term.

[coughingbean]

Oo look i forgot a space!

[coughingbean]

And possibly a commer (sp?)

[Roobix04]

Horses freak me out so I'm not entirely on board with centaurs. I'm now somewhat fixated on the too many limbs and nipples debacle.

[MyDobbygotgivenasock]

I met a satyr recently. I have to say, I was shocked and a bit scared, but he turned out to be absolutely charming and I got away unscathed.

See? This is what I've been saying, Satyrs yes, Centaurs no. For further evidence of their unsuitability look no further than what they did to Delores Umbridge. Horrible cow she may have been but what happened in those woods is not the sort of thing we want to encourage.

[SlinkyVagabond]

"Perverted deities" hmm given all the shenanigans in the Greek pantheon, that's a bit of an oxymoron.
Where, I want to know, is a mermaid's foof? And when they get it on with human males, how?

[TiggyD]

6 limbs would make them an insect all right. Or would that be a centaurpede?