To wish I could do my job AND have a private life... And not have pupils CONSTANTLY trying to find me online.

[TypicallyEnglishMustard]

I know, we exist in a digital age, and obviously my pupils are online a lot. I am too, with fake names for everything, and high security settings, because that feels sensible to me. I'm a secondary school teacher.

But I am fed up of pupils constantly playing "Find the Teacher Bingo" online, with me and my colleagues. Maybe it's just my school, but it seems that lately they are OBSESSED with finding as many of the staff as they can. I confiscated a checklist from one Year 7. We are constantly reporting pupils trying to "add" us on social media to the safeguarding officers. Today, a pupil gleefully came to me to tell me that she'd found a picture of me from when I was graduating university, and had printed it out on the school printer... That's really weird, right?!

AIBU to think that I have a right to a bit of privacy in my totally separate, ordinary life, without constant witch-hunting behaviour from pupils? Has anybody else had experience of this in school, and is there anything that can be done about it?

My year 11's were telling me how at a house party they decided to see how many teachers they could find on FB. Their trick was to decide who they felt were the most popular teachers and then look at their friends list. Apparently they managed to find quite a few, including mine. My FB is totally bland as I actually use it to contact my girl guide parents and things so am incredibly careful about what goes on there - but not everyone is!

Sadly I think it is all par for the course, much like being stalked in Tesco's by an ex student! Oh what larks.

Yanbu, my dd is in p7. She doesn't have fb obviously but a lot of her friends do and some of them think they are amazing because they found a teacher even though they have changed names. It annoys me when my dd is like so and so said she found X,y and z teacher online and she's going to try find so and so as she can't find her yet. It's ridiculous.

I think there's definitely an option you can pick in fb so that no one can find you through a search. Maybe that could be am option? problem is because we are from a fairly small town the kids just find someone they know who is friends with the teacher and then search the friends list.

Iv explained to my dd all about teachers privacy and why we shouldn't be searching them online and she understands and accepts that. Has your headteacher issued a letter to pupils and parents to ask them to respect your privacy and not add teachers?

Yes, amidawish. The kid had clearly spent AGES trying to find me online. I know this because I immediately asked her how she knew my baby was cute - and she revealed the lengths she'd gone to to find pictures and share them with friends.

OP - it sounds like your Union need to be more involved in this.

I would ask MN to pull this thread.

How many teachers work in the same school as their brother where an old uni picture was found and printed off.

You don't even have to log in to view post on MN.

What do you think the union would do?!

Ffs printing it out!!! That's a step too far! I'm asking myself, why on earth would she want to!
I'd maybe talk to the HT or head of pastoral care or something and ask them to bring this up with all the pupils, obviously without using you as a specific example.
If I were the HT, I'd be inclined to discuss this with the girl's parents. It's just downright weird.
I can understand that there's a bit of excitement attached to finding your teachers online; in first year, my friend and I were excited to discover that our English teacher had moved in quite near my street and yes, we did take a wander along his street to see if we could spot his car
We didn't fancy him at all, we just really liked him as a teacher.
And we were naice girls
I'm a primary teacher and on FB. I don't have any privacy settings at all! I rarely post anything at all, I'm more inclined to share and comment. And I'm extremely careful what I say and what I comment on.
I've had friend requests from former pupils who have now left school and am happy to accept them and chat.
In fact, I've PMd one to politely warn her about a post where she was slagging off her boss!
I like seeing what my former pupils are doing now. I've had the odd PM from a pupil who was still at high school but happily chatted as she was older (17 as opposed to 12) and it was lovely to chat to her and remember things that we'd done in class etc.
I also occasionally like to look at former pupils' profiles if they appear as a mutual friend or if they pop up on a post of a friend of mine.
It's nice to see how they're getting on though sometimes I'm appalled at the language they use though I'd never say as they're not friends.
I wouldn't mind if any of my pupils looks for me on FB, or any former pupils did. The only pics I have of myself are nice pics (I say that as someone who doesn't like having their pic taken, so it's not often I get one I actually like despite the fact that I'm actually ok
secretly hoping they're thinking, oh check Mrs Beans, she ain't half bad
And I keep my profile public as I like to add 80's pop stars

In my school, and in the union I'm in, the union would support teachers' requests to take this seriously.

Are you not allowed to say to them words along the lines of get a life?

Isnt it deeply uncool to show such an interest in your teachers.

As a supply teacher I doubt whether they would bother to track me down, but do have security setting set at max, and if I did receive a request form a child would just block the sender.
What concerns me more is the use of phone in the classroom - some schools are ally lax in this, and I am concerned obviously about kids being cyber-bullied whilst in a lesson, but also they might photograph me and build a fake profile/photshop etc.
Wish all school would have zero tolerance of phones during the school day.
And yesterday 2 boys in a Y8 class had Apple watches... Whaddya do about that...?

But what would they do, Waffles?

I thought my settings were secure, location services are always off and that my phone contacts were not imported onto my social media accounts, but recently I was being shown lots of parents as "people I might know" despite having no mutual contacts.

I've now deleted my work number from my phone, and all the suggestions have stopped!

Apparently fb uses info such as mutual phone numbers/recent locations to match you with other potential contacts!

OP that sounds horrible
How did the student find the university stuff?

Also, are you saying your social media is private or not? If it's private then I think the kids busting a gut to find stuff out should be disciplined, whatever that involves now.

OP- how about creating a decoy account under your real name with some bland safe information and a few photos that you don't mind them seeing? (I suppose to be believable it needs a friend list so no go)

When I was teaching the students were obsessed with how I met my husband and where we got married (I was a newly wed). They were doing all sorts of off-line digging coz it was a small town and they were sure they'd find someone who knew me. In the end I decided that it was best to just answer their questions one day and then when I was no longer a mystery they were no longer interested and the questions ended. When they realise that actually their teacher is pretty much same as everyone else they know they became bored. No juicy goss for them!

My security is at max, I don't have any colleagues on FB. I don't get bothered by kids, but I don't allow conversations about it past the usual 'No chance I will ever add you on FB'. Your kids sound odd, OP.

You can make your friends list private but you can no longer make your name/email address unsearchable.

emails and fb contact has been used in court to try to prove accusations against teachers by students and their parents. So yes , it has to be stopped as soon as contact is made regardless of 'cute'.

spouse I've just searched for someone who isn't searchable by name on Facebook, it doesn't show up.

Do remember huge numbers of us choose not to be on Facebook or to post family news etc. Thaat is always a choice.

Everyone who posts identifying details on line takes risks. Most of us these days look up new colleagues, contacts, boyfriends on line. If people choose to put information out there then they take that risk and we all remember the story of the very pretty blonde slim art teacher at I think it was Harrow School www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1371694/Harrows-topless-art-teacher-Joanna-Salley-825-boys.html

Harrow head Barnaby Lenon takes a philosophical view. He tells me: ‘Joanna Salley is a long-standing and successful art teacher at Harrow who has in the past been a model. Photographs of her modelling were taken by a professional photographer who also teaches at the school.

‘The pictures were stolen without the agreement of the photographer. The matter is being investigated.’

He adds: ‘Joanna was understandably very upset. She is a very good art teacher who also contributes to a lot of things like the Duke of Edinburgh Awards.’
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3226026/Harrow-art-teacher-resigned-topless-pictures-went-viral-comes-fighting-entering-women-s-boxing-bout.html

User, I don't do Facebook either but OP wants to which is fair enough

Also, the uni picture is very odd.

What subject do you teach OP? I ask because I wonder whether you could incorporate e-safety, respecting people's privacy, being careful what they post online themselves etc etc. Or ask that it is included in a PSHE lesson or similar? At DD school all students and their parents are required to attend an e-safety workshop.

I have my former history teacher on FB. He accepts lots of ex pupils. He's just that sort of guy, really loves his job and connects with the students on a level they understand. I was pretty close to him at school so added him. I don't think it's so weird with former students.

But yes I can understand your irritation with current students. It's a total breach of privacy HOWEVER teenagers are naturally curious and bloody nosey. We would have leapt all over teachers social media at school. Alas only MySpace really existed then and no teachers were fond of that...

Most of dd's primary and ds's secondary teachers are on Facebook under their own names. I have mutual friends with some of them and other school parents are actually friends with them outside school and therefore fb. Many have no privacy settings, though I suspect ds's school has had a crackdown as theirs seem to have tightened up a bit. I'm afraid I had some fun looking at ds's teachers when he started, seeing who was going out with whom and looking at their drunken shenanigans! Many of them, and other secondary teachers I know, are friends (on fb) with lots of their sixth form and past students. I'm surprised that there is so much variation in attitudes and opinions. You can find huge amounts of information about some people's lives on the internet, especially if they have a more unusual name.

The trouble with 'friending' former pupils it that they may be friends or siblings of current pupils. Similarly former teachers 'friending' their old pupils gives them access to any current teachers who are still friends with the former teacher. It's a big problem for teachers at my school, especially the younger, dare I say, more attractive ones.