AIBU to expect a 3 year old to be disciplined after bitingy 3 year old.

[Cuppaand2biscuits]

I have a very lovely friend who lives close to me. Our older children are in the same class and our younger children are the same age.
Her dc is quite aggressive towards mine, he hits, pinches, bites and pushes for no reason. I assumed it was a nasty phase bur I've really had enough now. Today he bit my dc for no reason at all, my friend made sympathetic noises to my son and apologised to me. Her child was not told off, all she said to him was that he made my son cry.
I've been thinking about it all afternoon, I feel like it's been tolerated for so long that it's become no big deal, she didn't even react. I worry that my son has become the victim, and have encouraged him to stand up to him and tell him to stop when he hurts him but usually he either looks at me as if to say help or he crys.
I don't want to lose this friendship, I can't offer advice on how to deal with it because she hasn't asked for it. I don't know what to do.

YANBU.
Yes children that age might still bite from time to time. They migt also push etc etc.

It's nice to apologise to you, making appropriate noises to your dc but she should have said something to her dc. That's called parenting and is the minimukm one should do.

Agree, next time meet up sans children

And there is difference about the age of the child. Even if it was a young 2yo, that child would need to be parented so he knows that it's not appropriate to do that. If hsi mum never says anything, ecven as a 2yo, how is he going to learn??

The question isn't here, is that a surprising behaviour but is it really normal for his mum not to say a word to the child/reprimand him/parent him/however you want to call it.

You are not being precious op. Why should your child have to put up with being physically hurt whenever they see this child.
This happened with couple of friends sons when they were 3/4 . With one, I basically took my son home as soon as he got hurt, and explained to the child why. It happened twice, and he never hurt him again. In this case the mum and I get on very well, and she had no problem with me doing this.
With a different family, my child was repeatedly hurt and my friend had the attitude 'boys will be boys'. In this case I simply stopped arranging to see her with the children at all. We are still friends, but we were never going to be compatible being family friends.
Only you can judge how to handle it with this friend. But, it is certainly not being precious to want to protect your child from being hurt. Good luck.

I have an occasional biting 3 year old - it is horrendous and embarrassing !

Agree - it is a recommended technique not to make a big deal of it. HOWEVER on the two occasions he has done it with me (most incidents at nursery) I have taken him aside, had words, apology, taken him home immediately, though with minimum fuss. And then checked up on the parent/child to apologise/make sure they are OK after I have left.

Having said that, I avoid situations where I think he might do it - i.e. I avoid playdates/playgroups if he's particularly tired, or if he's been upset about something at home, and supervise to make sure I can intervene if I see his 'red mist' creeping up on him. I find meeting with friends at parks / gardens etc much easier as he is much happier in the fresh air and burning up energy, and there are no toys to fight over! - So maybe now it's summer suggest going for a park/picnic playdate rather than at home??

Yanbu. My experience of two boys has never involved them biting or being bitten at three. I would expect or deliver consequences if it happened.

My just 3yr old bit me for the first time ever tonight! If he did it to someone else, especially another kid I'd definitely make him apologise.