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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy a bog standard car seat...

109 replies

Lalalax3 · 15/05/2016 19:11

... for (huge) 20 mth old son? I got a £40 Halfords essentials job and am feeling deeply guilty that we don't have a £300 extended rear facing thing like a lot of DS's contemporaries do.

He doesn't want to rear face - HATES it, and I really couldn't see how a £150 Britax was any safer than the one I chose.

So AIBU? Do I take it back and buy something better? Surely they're all as safe as each other, right?!

OP posts:
peggyundercrackers · 16/05/2016 09:11

Gunting tell me how many babies broke their spine or damaged their back compared to how many broke their leg as a result of a being a passenger in a car in a car seat fitted correctly. Can you also tell me how many were in a rear facing seat compared to a front facing seat.

Artandco · 16/05/2016 09:36

www.rearfacing.co.uk/facts.php

DuckAndPancakes · 16/05/2016 09:42

YABU to "settle" for a car seat you know nothing about because it had passed basic safety testing.

The question to ask yourself is, if anything happened would you feel guilt free that you skimped on this expense?

Clareoo223 · 16/05/2016 09:45

My seven year old gets very jealous that her friends are just on booster cushions..I had to explain that she is much safer than them.
There is a great crash test video with a child in a booster cushion, the child's head smashes into the side of the car, below the window, just where the car is reinforced!

High back booster until your twelve here, and I drive a tank.

SideOrderofChip · 16/05/2016 09:48

YABVU to just buy a cheap seat and hope for the best

splendide · 16/05/2016 10:00

Mine is in this - www.johnlewis.com/maxi-cosi-axissfix-group-1-car-seat-black-raven/p2051300?navAction=jump

So that was certainly expensive enough (£375) but now I'm worried he won't be able to rear face long enough in it. He's 18 months now - should I be getting another when he's 2?! I really find it confusing.

peggyundercrackers · 16/05/2016 10:06

artandco there are no facts there - there are some figures which are 7-8 years old comparing the UK to scandanavia. it tells us nothing about the kind of injuries which happen in the UK nor does it tell us why they happen.

Artandco · 16/05/2016 10:09

Splendid - probably. The problem with that seta is its only group 1 so it isn't going to last long compared to a group 1/2

You need something that rear faces until at least 18kg, ideally 25kg ( my 5 year old is 20kg and just moved into regular high back booster)

PregnantAndEngaged · 16/05/2016 10:10

I don't think you can take them back if you've unpackaged and installed it because of the safety element (they don't know it hasn't been involved in a crash).

However no YANBU. I don't really think is a £300 car seat is any safer than £40 car seat, it's probably just a bit more comfortable and looks better. All car seats have to conform to a set safety standard. The only thing is that it's best to keep children rear facing for as long as possible (or at least that's current advice), but you also have to do what's best for you as a family, if your son would hate rear facing and is the right weight etc to be forward facing, then do what you think is best.

splendide · 16/05/2016 10:11

Thanks Art - how stupid of me, I should have got something bigger to start with. It can rear face till 87cm apparently so my small son will be ok in it a while but then I guess I will need to get something bigger if they should be rear facing to 5.

Artandco · 16/05/2016 10:12

Peggy - my family are a family of undertakers. They say from what they see alone internal decapitation is possible and often enough to not risk it. They have had a number of small children 2-4 years who have died in accidents from bad seats from neck and spine injuries when their smaller sibling in baby rear facing seat next to them has barely a scratch and survived

Artandco · 16/05/2016 10:13

Splendid - it's not stupid, it's only in the last year of so its been more mainstream available so many just buy what the general baby stores. We imported rear facing seats 6 years ago.

splendide · 16/05/2016 10:15

Ah OK that makes me feel slightly better Art thanks!

imwithspud · 16/05/2016 10:19

I think YABU - a bit.

If you genuinely can't afford more than £40 for a car seat then so be it - any car seat is better than no car seat. However if you can afford to spend a bit more, then you should make an effort to find the best seat within your budget. There is a difference between various car seats, they all meet the same basic safety standards by law, but some are tested to an even higher standard. There's a reason the cheap car seats are well, cheap.

Also I notice that often when there is a recall on car seats it's usually the cheaper 'own brand' varieties rather than the more established names which speaks volumes imo.

BoomBoomsCousin · 16/05/2016 10:21

It may not be "just as safe" but the additional safety that you buy may not be worth it. Compared with average use of any car seat, you will make yours safer by learning how to put it in and how to secure your DC in it properly. Not all car seats are the same, but there is far more variation in how they are used in practice than in the safety of the design. So if you don't have much money concentrate on that instead of on the lab results.

middlings · 16/05/2016 10:22

YABVU. They're just not as robust are tested to the same standards.

Once I read about the differences between forward facing and ERF, I couldn't ignore it. Like others, mine are in hand me downs and cheaper cots but bedding and car seats are what we spend money on.

They are 4 and 2.5 and will be in ERF seats for a long time to come.

peggyundercrackers · 16/05/2016 10:27

with reference to the web site you posted a link to www.rearfacing.co.uk you do know its owned by an individual who runs a spinal massage practice at a private address e.g. her flat? it is NOT official advice by any stretch of the imagination and no one should be using the data as advice.

I don't doubt internal decapitation is possible but its not something the govt. release figures for so no one knows if it actually happens or not. when people start saying this MIGHT happen its all hearsay and scaremongering and you are praying on peoples consciousness and guilt which is manipulative.

Parietal · 16/05/2016 10:30

against the majority, I think YANBU.

actually, it depends a lot on how much you drive. we drive very little and have the cheapest car seats we could get. for our mileage, the probability of a crash is v. low. the probability of the kind of crash where the differences between a fancy car seat and a cheap one actually matters is infinitesimal. and I don't think you should spend money you can't afford on things that are TINY TINY risks.

on the other hand, if I drove the kids to school everyday and did a lot of driving, I would spend more on better car seats.

Cheby · 16/05/2016 10:48

Sorry to hijack the thread a little but what age do people usually rear face to these days? DD is just over 3 and pretty happy in her ERF Joie Stages still. She's 14.5kg so got a good while to go weight-wise, but we have just had to put the head rest up to the top setting as she's over 1m tall now.

I hope this seat will see us through to her turning 4. Should we be getting a seat which rear faces up to 25kg at that point, or is it reasonable to put her in a HBB at that point? (Would still be using the stages as it turns into a HBB I think).

peggyundercrackers · 16/05/2016 10:48

to give people an idea of actual figures, taken from www.gov.uk/government/statistical-data-sets/ras30-reported-casualties-in-road-accidents#table-ras30002

18 children who were passengers in cars were killed in 2014 - these are the latest figures.

there is currently approx. 36 million cars in the UK, there is approx. 4 million children in the UK. if you think about the number of children travelling in a car and the amount of journies they take in a car then multiply it by the number of vehicles they pass on each journey(each vehicle represents a possible accident) then look at the number 18 in relation the figure you come out with. it is an absolutely minute number - the risk is minute.

artandco can you tell me what county your family live in? I can find out from that how many children were involved in accidents, fatal or otherwise - the govt record all that data and its available.

AddictedtoSnickers · 16/05/2016 10:48

You say your 20 month old 'hates' rear facing, but as rear facing is safer shouldn't it be up to the adult to decide? I don't take safety advice off my children, they often 'hate' wearing their helmets when scooting/cycling but they have to wear them. Simple.

Andbabymakesthree · 16/05/2016 10:52

Cheby my daughter is 4.5 and will be rearfacing til 6 or 7 in her axkid car seat.

Chippednailvarnishing · 16/05/2016 10:52

So if the risk in your words Peggy is minute, do you use car seats?

peggyundercrackers · 16/05/2016 11:00

Chippednailvarnishing the figures show the risk is minute - that doesn't change no matter what I think or say.

but for your info I use a seat which makes sure I comply with the law.

mrsb26 · 16/05/2016 11:01

We just bought a Maxi Cosi Milofix which is an isofix extended rear facing until up to 18 months - it was £200.