Wicked mother in laws and step mothers

[GloGirl]

Thinking about it over dinner, are the stereo types just typical women hating?

Funny how the world looks different once you start becoming a feminist.

My first MIL was hideous. All her sons kept her at arm's length

My current MIL is an amazing woman. We get on very well, have the odd short-lived disagreement but if DD turns out like her, I will be incredibly happy.

My MIL is incredibly lovely and my Step mother is nicer to me than my own mother! But I've had a completely crazy exMIL (like try to steal my kids batshit crazy) and a vile exStepdad so the stereotype is rubbish... Some people are just shit

An awful step mother means a dad who puts his relationship ahead of his children. An awful step father means a mum who puts her relationship ahead of her children.

It is the parents we should be judging the most harshly.

I think your original opening post wasn't on the money with regard to the feminist analogy as there are truly absolute shit MILs and Step mothers - in fact I'd even suggest it was rather sexist as where do FILs and Step fathers enter the mix but I do see what you mean. I think MN has an almost fanatical obsession with overbearing MILs - they can't all be that awful, and equally with weddings - are these people attending Kim Kardashian's wedding as I've never come across an ostentatious wedding plan in RL.

An awful step mother means a dad who puts his relationship ahead of his children. An awful step father means a mum who puts her relationship ahead of her children.

I disagree - a stepmother is judged on her feelings and thoughts, not her actions. A stepfathers thoughts and feelings aren't scrutinised in the same way - and I think that is a feminist issue.

I know my mil is the way she is because of her upbringing and inherited narc traits from her own mother.

I agree with the pp who pretty much laid out the common problems with mils on here, and the reasons for them.

My mil always struggled to be noticed in a large family, she is embarrassed of being brought up on a council estate, she sees her own mother as uneducated and 'rough' (her words).
So when she had children of her own she wanted everything perfect. Two boys who would grow up to adore her and become lawyers or doctors or something she could brag about, and she would be the queen bee of the family.

Real life doesn't work like that so she's a bitter and twisted woman.

But I do agree that things that make her an evil mil stem chiefly from 'women related' issues, like looking after children, running a household, and juggling work and motherhood.