To Not Know What I Want To Do?

[SheDoneAlreadyDoneHadHerses]

I'm being redundant and frankly, I'm not even sure I want to stay in this profession anymore.

I'm need to get my arse in gear lining up a job, but I have done X profession for the last 10 years and now? Now I'm not convinced it's for me. It's stressful and the last decade of my home life has been influenced by my stress.

My confidence has been knocked so I'm not sure I can do anything but X even though I've obviously done other jobs, I'm pisspoor at interview, and I need to earn a certain amount of money to be able to keep the house going so I feel like I've no option but to keep doing X.

So far my career planning has consisted of trying not to become ill with worry and cleaning the house.

AIBU to want to change direction but AIBU to think it's nigh on impossible in your late 30s?

Oh. I have applied for jobs that I know I can do and when I've had emails back or calls back, my first thought has been "shit. X again. Are you sure?"

Think that says it all, doesn't it?

Is it teaching?

Gosh no. I work in an office but it's a specialist role.

Heh, I "gosh no'd" as I have teacher friends and they're all saints. I sodding hate other people's kids

But I have a specialist finance role and now I have the perfect opportunity to do Something New and Something I Want To Do.....

.......and I don't know what that is. And it's stressing me out.

How much time will your redundancy pay buy you?