To just refuse to engage in life today?

[NoCapes]

DP and I have 3 kids, 6,5 & 6 months
I do everything for them and the house, he works
Recently DP has been letting me lie in at a weekend and him being up with the kids, on my lie in days he will sleep on the couch so I do all the night feeds then when baby wakes up at 6ish I take him downstairs to DP and go back to bed
Thing is, during 6ish and 10ish when he wakes me, he feeds them and that's it! Then I get up at 10 and have to get myself and everyone ready for the day, all the while him moaning about it taking so long and him wanting to go out
It seriously fucks me off
We argue pretty much every Sunday morning about it
So today I'm not really in the mood to go out anyway and he came up and started with this "get up you need to get the kids ready" bullshit
I said I don't want to go out I don't want to get them ready
So he tells the kids we're not going out
I said, you can take them out you know. He says he can't take all 3 of them, when asked why he just "can't do it"
So we're not doing anything and I'm still lay in bed. If I move I'll have to do stuff and just once I don't want to be the one to do the stuff!!

AIBU and a selfish arse though? The kids want to go to the park and are just bouncing round the house now because I'm refusing?
I really just want to call my brother and go for a cider in a beer garden

Honestly I'm this close to just packing his shit while he's out
I'm just so so exhausted with it all

But you won'trun away op as you can't leave the children.

So the one who needs to go out has. And you and the children who don't need to go out can stay home.

Do the bare minimum to survive today. Put older ones in the garden with a box of toys. Baby in play pen. Keep your pj's on. Cheese toasties for lunch.

Your weekend plans are incompatible and will remain so unless you communicate your different needs.

How do you recover? With people or on your own. How does he? When you know your different needs then you can plan for them.

gone out because I'm not meeting his standards today

Oh I thought you were in a relationship, not his employee!

My DH often needs things completely spelt out to him, even though he's very helpful and willing. Have you actually specified to your DH that whilst you're having your lie-in he should get the children ready? It's in his own interest after all, as then he won't have to wait for you to get them ready after you get up.

Or is your DH simply not willing to do that??

Sounds fucking awful.

How old are your children. I understand what you are feeling as my DH used to do this, sometimes the kids wouldn't have even had brekkie. But we talked and it's better. Surely the older 2 he just needs to say to them "go get dressed" and they do? If they can do that, that's 2 thirds of the kids done.

Oh & bollocks to out every weekend day!!!!

Can you ask your brother to come with you while you take the kids to the park? I know it's not ideal but it would be some adult company for you.

I'm in the park now with the older 2, I've left the baby with DP
He came back and told me he thinks I "need a break" no shit Sherlock!
I plan to meet my brother in the beer garden after

Arrow no unfortunately it's not that easy, our kids have eczema so need several different creams applied, DS also has asthma so needs his inhaler administered, plus DD needs her hair doing
Would be much simpler if I could simply say "go and get dressed"