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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To turn down a three day a week job?

35 replies

Sodabread · 15/05/2016 07:11

I have a two day a week Job some distance away and am on maternity leave with ds. I also have another ds who is 2.

Whilst on Mat leave I applied for a local job which is less money, and three days a week.

Now I am due to start said job, I realise I really think three days a week is too much in terms of balance of work/family. I have requested to do two and a half, but have been told no. Am I being unreasonable to consider turning this local job down over half a day?

I haven't given notice to my old job yet....

OP posts:
ThisShitIsBananas · 15/05/2016 07:11

Yes, YABU.

murphyslaws · 15/05/2016 07:13

Yes , less travel is more home time

Dellarobia · 15/05/2016 07:13

No YANBU, if the new job is more hours and less money, why would you take it?

Lilaclily · 15/05/2016 07:14

If you turn it down will you still have your old job for more money ?
I'd be thinking of longer term though
When the kids are school age will you need a more local job so you can drop them off at school first without using childcare ?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 15/05/2016 07:18

How much time do you spend commuting to the other job? Does it add up to half a day? If so the time spent out the house is the same. You may save money on commuting costs. Will that compensate for the job being less well paid?

AyeAmarok · 15/05/2016 07:29

How much less money? Significant or just a bit less but balanced out by the less travel?

I think YABU. 3 days a week and 4 days at home is plenty good for a work/life balance.

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 15/05/2016 07:36

Does the reduced travel time make up for it?

You applied for it and were aware of the hours and the pay so yabu to be rethinking now

Birdsgottafly · 15/05/2016 07:37

Will the extra commuting and subsequent child care arrangements, work out more than the half day that you're losing?

Take into account any illnesses, two children means they pass things back and forth etc.

As said, how much less money?

sneakyminders · 15/05/2016 07:43

Yes how do the numbers work out? Are you getting more for the three days with less commute than your current two days?

I'm kind of ignoring the 'work/life' balance bit because in my opinion YABVU, working three a week is very nicely balanced and northing to worry or moan about.

Neverjoketodogs · 15/05/2016 07:46

As others have said it depends how much less money and how far is your current commute? For me being local would probably be the higher priority so that I could get home to the children quickly and be nearer in case of emergency. I also think 3 days at work and 4 days at home is a good balance.

I would seriously consider taking the local job.

Also if career progression/opportunities are important to you then you might want to factor this into your decision.

Believeitornot · 15/05/2016 07:49

YABU

Three days versus two days is nothing IMO. A local job when your children are at school is brilliant.

shouldwestayorshouldwego · 15/05/2016 07:53

I agree that you need to calculate commuting costs and also childcare costs for those extra communting hours (if you are the one doing pick-up drop offs). The commuting is a post-tax cost so you would also need to add tax to it. Being close can be useful if there is ever a problem - depending on whether they have any flexibility. Obviously even being next door is no use if you aren't able to leave work. Which job would you enjoy more?

SauvignonPlonker · 15/05/2016 07:55

I work 2.5 days & to be honest the 0.5 day is a PITA. Childcare is more expensive pro-rata for a 1/2 day, so it's not cost-effective. Plus it's hard getting away from work on time & I also struggle to find childcare in the school holidays for 0.5 days - again not cost-effective.

I would much rather do 3 days & feel I could manage this easily despite 1hr commute each way, partner working away/long hours & no family support.

TrainBridge · 15/05/2016 07:56

I stepped up from two days to three days a week about 18 months ago. It felt like a really big decision before I did it, but has actually worked out fine. It's just one more day to organise in advance in terms of food, childcare etc and work-wise it's really made me feel much happier as I'm there the majority of the week and I'm able to get involved in so much more, which makes the job much more fulfilling.

HopefulHamster · 15/05/2016 07:58

I currently work three days a week and am about to suggest I try 2 days a week, so I see where you're coming from.

I used to work four days, and that was just like being fulltime. Horrid at work but enjoyed my days off.

Three days is a good balance to be honest, and no one expects me to do a full week of work, but the travel to my job (perfectly reasonable commute) makes it a long day away from the kids. If it was a local job it would be fantastic.

I'm only asking for 2 days because it might give me the chance to work remotely and I'm thinking of trying to build some freelance work from home on the third day.

You have to do what's right for your family, there are no wrong answers.

origamiwarrior · 15/05/2016 08:03

Agree that 0.5 of a day is pointless in terms of life-work balance. Your life-work balance perception stems from 'I don't have to work today'

It's the practical and financial considerations (especially when your children get older) that should determine your decision.

BombadierFritz · 15/05/2016 08:08

Why did you apply for this job? More work less money doesnt sound appealing. Was it the shorter commute? How many actual hours will you spend away from home for each job? The 2 day a week job sounds better from here but yabu to turn down a 3 day a week job instead of a 2.5 day as there is no big difference between the two

Mooey89 · 15/05/2016 08:12

I was commenting an hour+ per day, 4 days per week - I took a pay cut and now work full time... But the office is a 5 min walk, I don't leave the house until 8.15, I come home for lunch to hang washing out.

Move closer to home. My thing was driving to pick DS from nursery and there was an ambulance outside - not for him, but I thought, if it had been it would have taken me an hour to get to him.

Mooey89 · 15/05/2016 08:17

*commuting

AskBasil · 15/05/2016 08:32

What are the long term career prospects in both jobs?

What are the transferable skills that will help you get better paid jobs when you are ready to up your hours again when both kids are at secondary schools?

Do you have a DP and where is his work in relation to your home and childcare? If there were an emergency, could he get to the place needed before you could?

That extra day a week is your time, your life and you are entitled to it. Commuting time, while generally considered a downer, can actually be quite valuable for recharging your batteries, having time that's not at work and not with DC's. If you're on public transport you can read (something you very rarely have time to do with young children) and if you're driving you can listen to the news. It's underrated as quality time IMO. No seriously. Grin Yes it's more time on the days you work, but then you have the whole of the next day free, it really does make a difference.

YANBU to seriously consider turning down the 3 day a week job for a job which is better paid and fewer hours, but I think you need to consider carefully why you applied for the nearer, less well paid job in the first place and I think your decision needs to be based on long term career prospects, not just the immediate short term issue of childcare. Just as your DP's is, assuming you have one.

museumum · 15/05/2016 08:36

I'd take three days local over two with a commute any day!!

Local job means you can drop your child later and pick up earlier. When I'm local ds and I have breakfast and dinner together which I love. If I have to travel it's nursery breakfast and tea.

SquirrelFruitandNutkin · 15/05/2016 08:40

How much is childcare for you?

If I'd done 3 days work when dc2 arrived our nursery costs would have gone from £100 (1 child 2 day week) to £300 (2dcs 3 days) a week!

Made working more days seem utterly ridiculous! As it was my wages were the same as the nursery fees so I only broke even for a year! 😬

Silvercatowner · 15/05/2016 08:43

But your OP said you were due to start said job - are you not now committed to said job? You must have at least verbally accepted, surely?

Misty9 · 15/05/2016 08:48

I worked three days a week when dd was just one and ds was 3, and it was the ideal balance for me. But dh also worked pt and we shared childcare equally. And it was local. I'm due to start 3.5 days with a commute best week but it's much more money and a good career move.

I did turn down a 4 day a week a job after initially saying yes (but way before contracts etc) as decided it was the wrong time.

Go with your gut. Would turning it down now affect your career prospects in the future? Because it will piss off the employer...

Good.luck. it's hard being torn I know.

MrsMook · 15/05/2016 08:57

3 days a week is a good balance. You still spend the majority of the time at home.

Commute is important. I currently have DS1 and DS2 in separate childcare settings due to their age. My commute is about 20 mins. I have a 30 minute window between dropping off DS1 at his earliest time, then dropping DS2 on my way to work then getting to work on time. It's possible, but tight and a stress getting young children to cooperate with it! DH usually takes DS1, but he often can't and usually at short notice, so I have to be capable of doing it myself.

It was simpler when they were in the same nursery. The school place has complicated it.

3 days is also cost efficient, particularly when they get the 15 hours.

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