Dogs and babies

[AJ279]

Not really AIBU but more wanting opinions.

I've just seen a photo on Facebook (I know!) of a staffy with a newborn baby propped with its face up against the dogs promoting the breed.

I'm very very much of the opinion it's the lifestyle and the environment which makes a bad dog, or just that particular dog itself not the breed which makes a bad dog.

But these photos make me slightly mad. Animals and humans are so unpredictable, you can never know 100% what will happen in a split second. And there are people commenting with the whole 'I know and trust my dog 100% and would happily let my baby lay on them' etc. Fair enough, picture them together, but at a distance where you can step in quick enough should the worst happen. I feel it's unfair on both the dog and the baby.

My situation is that we have a dog with anxiety issues and can be a little snappy to strangers. We didn't know how things would be with DD and went in with an open but cautious mind when I was pregnant. We were not willing to give up on our dog straight away, unless of course we had to and DD was in danger and then we would have obviously looked to rehome. As it turns out our dog has been great, she's fab with DD BUT I would never ever leave them alone together, ever! And I do think I would feel this way with any dog or animal.

You have the '100% trust my dog' or 'all dogs are dangerous' camps on Facebook but I'm very much of the mindset that yes, trust your dog but remain cautious. Do not take unnecessary risks with your babies or dogs life. Everything has the ability to snap in a split second, a dog, a cat, a person so why take that risk?

AIBU? I needed a rant, I feel better now.

Ps- sorry if this is one of 'those' threads- apparently I have a habit of starting them.

Yanbu. I wouldn't leave my 4yo alone with any dog, ever . Dogs are dogs not people and are unpredictable.

When I had DD Ddog was an 18 month old bouncy excitable golden retriever. My mother was terrified, not that he'd intentionally hurt her but that he'd stand on her or something.
For the first 12 or so months of DD, if I have a photo of her doing tummy time or in her bouncy chair or just sitting on the floor, to the side you can see a golden retriever just lying there. He just seemed to know he shouldn't jump around her.

DH was watching her one day, he said he turned his back for a second, he looked back and DD was holding DDogs tongue! DDog was giving 'can you make her let go' eyes at DH.

DD is 2.9 now and her and DDog love to play chase. About 2 weeks ago we were playing in the garden. DD was running after DDog. Suddenly DDog lay down but DD was looking back at me and didn't see. She fell straight over him. My heart stopped, but DDog got up shook himself and wandered off.

I'll still never trust him 100% but I'm definitely at 99%

Amen Midnite

I'm relieved at these answers.
How come mumsnet dog owners are all sensible and responsible but most dog owners I know are the bane of my life, letting their dogs bark and shit all over the place?
Right now the neighbour's hideous little mutt is barking ( squealing ) at the top of its lungs and most likely will wake my sleeping kids.

This is a serious question, by the way .

One when I said that I meant have them a distance apart. Not let them be so close and just hope you get there in time. I have photos of my dog and baby where she's on her play mat and dog is sat next to it but DP is sat next to her too etc.

Okay sorry OP I didn't read it in the way you ment it my mistake.

I do still think in that instance there was nothing wrong with the photo there were obviously people close by and you can tell by looking nice at the picture the dog was under stress, tense or look uncomfortable with the situation, but it's each to there own I suppose.

I have a staffie and a toddler and I know my dog's stress signals well. I don't think he would ever, ever bite (her or anyone, he's a completely human-submissive sook) but if I see a hint of lip-licking or averting, I seperate them. That said, they have had loads of face to face moments, supervised, as I can tell they are both enjoying the interaction.

Don't worry one I probably could have worded it better

Fuck this makes me mad.

Do NOT leave an animal in a position where it can hurt a young child, even if it's as soppy as a mop and has no teeth and you trust it implicitly. It's an animal and it can't reason. The risk isn't fair on the child or the animal, who could pay a horrific price for your cute picture. Gaaaah!

iminshock probably because only sensible dog owners are responding to this, who have taken the time to learn how to train a dog. And understand that dogs are dogs and therefore are not attaching human emotions to them.

We had an amazing old chocolate lab. He passed a year ago, just shy of 13 yrs old. After DD was born, he tired himself out for the first few weeks watching her because he thought it was his job to protect her. At about 6 weeks old, I was holding DD on the sofa, he shut his eyes for a few seconds and we saw the momentary blind panic of "where is she" when he opened them and she wasn't in my arms anymore - a visitor was holding her. Having never been allowed upstairs, he insisted on following us everywhere - bathroom, bedroom etc and I never would have prevented him. He was already getting on a bit when she was born, I did leave DD downstairs inside her playnest while he was asleep to get washing down and such like. Before anyone criticises me for this, it started because I already had serious back problems then fell down the stairs with DD in my arms at 6 months old. I managed to injur my back further but she wasn't hurt so leaving her in her playnest was my best choice. If I had a raging puppy or young dog, I would have put DD in a playpen or shut her in a different room. And I certainly wouldn't leave my current puppy unsupervised with a baby.

Once DD was moving around, I had to be careful with my dog even so. I don't think he would have attacked her but we can never say never. She used to climb on him to give him a cuddle so the love was very mutual.

I hate those photos, I'm a nurse and have looked after too many children with horrific dog bites. I would never ever trust any dog within 100 years of a baby.

I trust my dog to behave like a decent human being provided she's with other half-decent human beings. In fact, I would have a lot more faith in her behaviour under normal circumstances than most people's behaviour. However, I would not trust many small children to behave like decent human beings because - and I speak as a mother - they are more often little savages, especially where animals are concerned. So if my ridiculously patient and well-mannered dog were to be physically hurt and cornered by a barbaric little savage wielding a pointy piece of lego, I cannot with absolute confidence say she wouldn't administer a nip. I don't blame her. Does that mean the dog is untrustworthy? No, it means the child is.

It's an animal and can't reason

No, the creature that can't reason is the child inflicting pain on another creature with considerably sharper teeth. The dog is generally behaving in a much more rational manner - 'If I defend myself they will back off'.

FWIW, I wouldn't leave my dog with a small child for the dog's sake. Though where my children are concerned, she's an excellent nanny. But that's another story.

Yanbu. I have two dogs, both have accepted my daughter (11 months) no bother. Do I trust the three of them alone together? In short, no. My daughter is a grabby, hair pulling, eye gouging tiny terror and I will not make the dogs endure that or put her safety at risk by doing so.

Every day I spend a bit of time showing her the right way to stroke the dogs, she mostly understands "gentle" (I know it will take years to get but no harm starting young), but I let them come to us as we sit on the floor. I don't take the baby to them. As soon as she gets grabby, I stop.