Favours that aren't really favours

[TormundGiantsbabe]

Totally prepared to be called ungrateful but here goes. Speaking to MIL about my plans for uni and discussing how it's hard to plan ahead without knowing timetables etc and she says, oh I know soandso from x university, I can ask him if he can get a copy of the current timetable so you have an idea of how much time is spent in lectures, if you like.

So I say, if you don't mind that might be useful, but don't go out of your way (there's only so much use a soon to be out of date timetable can be after all).

So today I get a message from MIL, here is the person soandso said you need to speak to, they're expecting a call from you (so I can't even say, thanks very much and leave it at that).

Aibu to think ffs, this favour is now actually just a chore for me!

Oh no - this sort of thing happens to me all the time. Is the person expecting your call someone you will come across when you go to uni? If not I'd 'forget' to make the phone call

My ILs are king of this sort of thing. Last year they were looking for something to do while they visited us so I suggested they did a little light weeding. Next thing I know they've dug the entire garden up and ordered us a new lawn, that I then have to take a day off work to lay and water four times a day for the next month. It died over the summer when we were on holiday... as I knew it would, I'm a shit gardener and couldn't care less if my lawn is patchy... so she offered to get us another one this year. Uh, really, no thanks.

I hate that sort of thing! I had something like that recently not about a timetable but almost exactly the same situation where I then had to make a phone call at a specific time. I'm trying to think of the best way to deal with it. Probably saying to MIL "Oh from what you said I thought you could easily get hold of a timetable. If not don't worry about it as it isn't that important and it will be it of date anyway so I won't bother calling that person over it. It was only going to be handy if you could easily lay your hands on one. Thanks anyway."

I know your MIL will find it rude/ ungrateful but things like this need to be nipped in the bid as they build up resentment.

DM's friend: I will look after your DS this afternoon. I insist as you need a break. Bring him to me in town.

I walk him to town, walk home. Wait for her to be done. Can't do anything more interesting as I have no access to car. Walk back. Collect tired stroppy child. Thank friend for the 'favour'. Walk home.

I've developed my ability to say NO now

DM often 'helps' by washing all of our clothes. Which actually leaves me with with 3 or 4 loads of wet washing that I have no way of getting dry and then have to iron. She doesn't seem to realise that putting the washing in the machine and pressing start is the easy part that I can actually manage!

When I was going through cancer treatment my friend suggested we went out for a meal one evening, just the two of us.

She would pick me up and it would be good for me to get out the house and my husband and kids would get a break from me etc etc

So the door bell goes ,my friend is sitting in her car waiting......her child walks in. My husband was expected to babysit without any discussion.