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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think its great my friend's 18 year old wants to be a reception teacher?

29 replies

listsandbudgets · 12/05/2016 12:30

And that he should encourage him all the way and not tell him that its a women's job and he should become a plumber or electrician because that's what proper blokes do?

His son is a clever and sensitive young man and all he's ever wanted to do since he was in his early teens is teach but his dad is positively pushing hi away from it. Their mum is not on the scene so she can't / won't step in and I know I cant interfere but he's now talking about not applying for the teaching course he wanted but doing an apprecticeship instead because its what dad wants :(

OP posts:
Balletgirlmum · 12/05/2016 12:32

How sad. More male teachers are needed in primary.

jopickles · 12/05/2016 12:39

I work with trainee teachers and we have quite a few males this year and you can just tell they are all going to be really good teachers. Encourage him all the way if you can

AppleSetsSail · 12/05/2016 12:42

And this guy is your friend?

I'd find it difficult to remain civil to someone who attempted to infect their child with such vile, sexist views while, at the same time, turning him away from what he really wants to do.

Original poster
listsandbudgets · 12/05/2016 12:44

jopickles if we have a party he's the one down on his knees with 3-6 year olds climbing over him while they search for worms and bugs in the garden. he's the one singing with them or making up silly stories. He's the one they go racing to if they cant find theiir mums or they've got something to show someone.

DS (3 nearly 4) utterly adores him - wants him to read him stories, play lego with him etc. etc..

I know nothing about teacher training but my guess is he'd make a brilliant teacher of small children - they just flock to him :)

OP posts:
ChessieFL · 12/05/2016 12:45

This is exactly why there aren't more male teachers.

Original poster
listsandbudgets · 12/05/2016 12:45

Apple its difficult because I've known him since I was 16. Somehow he's changed in the last 2-3 years and I don't know why it makes me sad :(

OP posts:
ToucheShay · 12/05/2016 12:46

Can you not speak to him alone and offer your support and encouragement.

He should pursue his passion, not his father's.

WorraLiberty · 12/05/2016 12:51

This was being discussed on The Wright Stuff this morning.

YANBU

AppleSetsSail · 12/05/2016 12:52

Please speak to your son's friend and support him however you can. I get it, longstanding friend, but he's being a terrible father.

MrsPeacockDidIt · 12/05/2016 12:53

so sad. My son started in reception last September and the only male staff in the school are, the Executive Head, the Attendance Officer and the Sports Teacher. I so so wish there were more male primary school teachers as I think my son would really benefit from a more balanced teaching staff.

It's considered a "girly" job a most primary school teachers are female, which I think puts men off, and so the circle continues.

NapQueen · 12/05/2016 12:57

My dh always wanted to work with kids but we grew up in a poor northern town where men just didnt work with kids.

We got together at 18 and told me and we both found a great job for him as an Outdoor Activity instructor with PGL. He did a few years there, I did a year there, then we moved to a small independent centre. I've now moved into a different industry but he is a TA and a bloody amazing one at that, working with kids with disabilities or SEN.

Please actively encourage your friends son to pursue a career with children - kids need it! And I'd never hesitate to recommend PGL or similar as a good starting block or a suitable gap year job.

Hygellig · 12/05/2016 12:59

He sounds like he'd be a great teacher. The only male teachers at DS's primary school are the Year 6 teacher, the headteacher and the sports teacher.

Is there any way you can have a gentle chat with his dad to get him to understand that his son would really like to try teaching?

Original poster
listsandbudgets · 12/05/2016 13:00

Thanks Worra, don't listen to wright stuff - is it radio 5? I'll try to find it on catch up.

I should see him at the weekedn so I may have a chat with him. Its such a shame he'd be a great teacher IMHO.

OP posts:
RiverTam · 12/05/2016 13:15

Why can't you talk to your friend? He's being a sexist knob, on top of being a crap father forcing his own views on his adult son.

whyayepetal · 12/05/2016 13:18

Please encourage him. The best trainees I work with are those that have a combination of a natural "flair" with the children combined with a willingness to learn. This young man sounds like he would be fab.

jopickles · 12/05/2016 13:20

I don't know whereabouts you live OP but if he ever wants any advice about teacher training or Uni courses please let me know and I would be happy to speak to him about options

whyayepetal · 12/05/2016 13:20

Just re-read that. What a rotten sentence! But you get the gist.....Grin

CruCru · 12/05/2016 13:25

Gosh. When looking at schools (my son starts reception in September), I was always pleased to see male teachers.

coffeeisnectar · 12/05/2016 13:26

Do encourage this young man to go into teaching. We need more male teachers!

At my DD's old primary school there was a wonderful male teacher who the entire school absolutely adored, parents, staff, teachers. Everyone loved him. All the year 5's would wait with baited breath to find out if he was going to be their teacher in year 6 :o

He turned the entire classroom into a winterwonderland every December and has never worn the same tie twice. He has the worlds biggest collection I think.

Talk to your friend and tell him about the importance of letting his son find his own way in life. You can't force someone to do something they hate. He won't ever forgive him and his happiness is more important than his job description.

Definitely push some FE material at this lad about teaching courses and encourage and help him with applications for Uni.

cleaty · 12/05/2016 13:28

No parent should encourage their child away from a job they want to do. I would speak to both your friend and his son. It is his life, and he needs to live it the way he wants to.

ceebie · 12/05/2016 13:30

There's only one male teacher in my children's school (in Y1) and he's fab with the kids - I wish there was a more even balance! Tell your friend straight up to stop interfering in such a negative way with his son's career.

Original poster
listsandbudgets · 12/05/2016 13:37

Thank you that's decided me. I'm going to take my friend to task this weekend. Like so many single parents, he's had a bad time and he's never been the same since he was literally abandoned overnight with 4 boys aged 6-12 but he seems to have gone downhill in the last 2-3 years and its really making me sad to see. This is the eldest boy. I've tried hard to be supportive but its difficult sometimes when I blatently don't agree with him IYSWIM.

OP posts:
LemonySmithit · 12/05/2016 14:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

readingrainbow · 12/05/2016 14:16

My children have positively thrived with their male teachers. More needed! Please speak to this young man - he sounds lovely.

wigglesrock · 12/05/2016 14:33

My kids primary school takes in some trainee teachers/work experience every year - mainly in the P1/reception classes. There were more males than females this year. There's four male teachers in my kids primary.

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