To think not everything is about you!

[NeedACleverNN]

Feeling a bit blue and fed up. Reasons unknown.

Dh asked if I was ok. Said I was feeling a bit fed up but I don't know why.

His answer?! Is it me?

Every fucking time I feel a bit meh he always has to ask is it him.

He's sulking now because I snapped and said not everything revolves around you!

Why? Why can I just not be a bit bleh without him interfering

My husband can be like this. It is most irritating.

Must be nice having someone who cares enough to ask though?

He was only asking. YABU.

Though when you snap out of your bad mood you will probably realise that anyway.

I understand your irritation but clearly he is picking up on how you feel and he is concerned. It's not fair to make him feel uncomfortable due to your mood if it isn't about him.

It is...but when I say I don't know, why does he have to make it about him? Everytime!

I get you.

Even worse with my DH, if I tell him I'm feeling a bit down, ill or whatever, he has to say that the fact I'm feeling shit makes him feel shit. Really fucks me off.

Anyway, hope you are ok Op. It's annoying when you feel fed up and can't figure out why.

It would probably be more annoying if it was him and he refused to accept that fact...

Yup I hear that phrase a lot

"I don't like it when your blue. Makes me feel a bit blue"

Because that makes me feel so much better doesn't it?!

Oh I have one of these.

Yes, I get that! Drives me mad!

"Why are you upset?"

"I've just got a lot of things going on."

"Are we alright?"

"Yessssss" (Or were, until you did that. Thanks. Now I've got one more thing on my plate.)

I get you. My DP does this. He also gets competitive. I have back and hip/pelvic problems, I'm on painkillers and see physio for it. I fell down the stairs a few days ago and had to use my crutches for a bit. I've been off the crutches for 2 days, told him I was sore and I would have to make a doctors appointment to discuss pain Meds as they aren't working as expected. His reply was "I'm sore too. I've put my back out lifting the baby" now...I know my 9 month old is heavy (98th centile) but come on! A little bit of sympathy wouldn't go amiss. And I have to lift the superchunk all day every day so that excuse doesn't cut it. It's as if I can't have anything gets at all wrong with me without it being about him or him having it worse! So it's a yanbu from me.

Yeah my DH does this but then I think I do it to him too . That's the thing with living with someone/being in a close relationship - your mood does reflect on others.

Your DH asked because he cares, he wanted to know what's wrong.
No harm in asking really. Annoying for you but perhaps he should have left you be.

YANBU to feel a bit down and then you do find people more irritating but try and see it from this angle. When he asks: "Is it me?" He's saying: "Is it something I can help with?" He isn't phrasing it well but he's just trying to make sure he hasn't upset you. Tell him next time a "Why are you upset?" Is better but I don't think you have particular reason to be cross with him over that.

We do this with each other, just incase we have pissed each other off and not realised. I'll ask if I've done anything, he'll say no and I'll leave him to it or help sort it if its something else. I think he's just being caring! But if he knows you hate it so much then probably not a good idea for him to carry on...