Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be fed up with Gp and Consultant re weight loss and operation

44 replies

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 08:57

Sorry this may be long.
So last year I was diagnosed with a hernia. I was referred to a Consultant as it was likely I would need surgery. I am no fool so realised I would need to lose weight as BMI was high. Maybe 39
So I asked about nurse led weight management programmes and I was told that they no longer offer this but do Slimming World referral for those that meet criteria. I didn't. So yes I was annoyed but got on with it and lost maybe 1/2 stone in advance of Consultant appointment.
Consultant told me I needed to lose 2 stone as success rates better with lower BMI. I returned having lost maybe 11/2 stone only to be given a new target of BMI 28. Another 11/2 to lose.
Since than I have had a couple of A and E and GP visits due to severe pain and vomiting. For a while hole both my pancreas and gallbladder were suspected but thankfully after a stressful time a CT scan ruled these out so my symptoms were put down to a hernia flare up by A and E and virus by Gp. Gp was actually quite rude and he basically treated me like a hypochondriac despite 2 weeks previously telling me my pancreas was enlarged and ordering urgent tests etc.
He weighed me again and I joked that this was a bad week as it was my Birthday. I was told that was no excuse. ,(My BMI had gone down but didn't comment)
The parting shot was me saying so all I now have to deal with in the hernia. I was gruffly told they don't operate on those. Not sure why Consultant ordered CT to decide whether to do open it Lap procedure than.
Just feeling fed up with it all. Consultant booked for next month and I am just waiting to be put off again.
To add to this I have muscle separation after my pregnancies and I believe this is not helping my other symptoms but according to our Trust this doesn't cause symptoms and is not corrected.
Thank you for reading to the end.

OP posts:
daisychain01 · 11/05/2016 09:05

Fact is, whether you need to lose weight or not, you're going through a horrendous time with your health. So sorry about that Flowers

What strikes me about your situation is that you have really made an effort to lose weight and yet the HCPs sound like they are unsupportive and dismissive of your efforts.

Can you pull out all the stops and lose as much weight as possible, then make a record of exactly how much weight you've lost in total, so you can challenge them if they don't place priority on your operation using weight loss as the excuse.

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 09:20

Thank you. I just feel like weight loss is taking over my life. I have lost 3 stone since September/October and everyone says I should be feeling fitter etc but actually I feel worse. I have had to reduce my levels and stop doing weights at the gym as my stomach muscles are buggered which I believe is affecting my back but this was dismissed.

OP posts:
upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 09:21

Obviously this is not sector weight loss but my condition.

OP posts:
upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 09:25

Not sure what auto-correct did to last post

OP posts:
redexpat · 11/05/2016 09:28

That does sound really shitty. Some good phrases when dealing with HCP are:
What are my options? (becasue theyve usually decided for you)
I'm not happy with that.

I also find it really helps to write stuff down and take it with you.

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 09:44

Thank you. You know twice I have sat there and listened to Consultant reel off failure rates in obese patients hence why I expected to have to get into overweight range but 28 is below that. Really think when I next go this is going to change to 25.

OP posts:
thecitydoc · 11/05/2016 09:51

under going surgery is risky for everyone and these risks are significantly increased for those who are very overweight. Your surgeon is telling you to lose weight for your own benefit in terms of the outcome of the surgery. It is hard but to aid the success of the surgery and reduce risks you need to keep going with the weight loss

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 09:56

BMW of 28 though is not very overweight though. In my case as I am short it's only a stone over top end of ideal. so when I reach a BMI of 28 I feel my weight should no longer be used as an excuse. However I suspect they might again.

OP posts:
upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 09:59

Meant to say I can accept getting to a BMI of 28 is reasonable but it would have been nice to have told this at the outset.
Plus some support in achieving this loss would have been appreciated.

OP posts:
echelon · 11/05/2016 10:01

thecitydoc she IS keeping going with the weight loss but it sounds like they keep moving the goalposts though and being unsupportive on top of that.

Flowers for you OP, well done on drastically reducing your BMI !

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 10:06

Thanks. Yes I have actually set myself a weight loss goal smack bang in the middle of my ideal range. Given the likelihood of having to wait for surgery once I reach the Consultants goal weight my weight probably won't even be an issue than.

OP posts:
Littlegreyauditor · 11/05/2016 10:32

I had mild muscle separation after pregnancy and it led to loads of back issues. My physio fixed it (I had attended previously due to a shoulder injury). Loss of core stability due to stomach muscle problems can lead to back pain.

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 10:42

That's interesting thank you. I was referred to a physio previously for sciatica. Than it went away. Now it is mainly lower back pain which occasionally travels down leg so maybe a physio is the way to go. Better to to one of the other GPS for a referral though.

OP posts:
upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 18:23

Well feel much better for venting. Had a really good diet day today.
Thank you for replies

OP posts:
KateSpade · 11/05/2016 18:56

I find that if your over weight it gets blamed for every single health problem, I understand of course it's not health but got a chest infection? Your weight won't help!

Period pains so severe your vomiting - your weight won't help!

Good luck op!!

HelenaDove · 11/05/2016 19:18

The NHS are very inconsistent when it comes to weight loss Ive seen a post on MN where a consultant was having a go at a patients weight while writing out yet another prescription for steroids.

On the same thread someone who attended an NHS meeting posted about how they were all provided with a free lunch?

Anyone care to take a wild guess at the sort of food that was provided?

HelenaDove · 11/05/2016 19:33

Copied and pasted from elsewhere to save me typing it all out again.

When i lost 10 stone (before the 4 stone regain and subsequent loss) i developed gall bladder disease (now before anyone starts 2 doctors and my surgeon told me it was due to losing weight too fast. In fact they asked me Slimming World or Weight Watchers? The surgeon was very kind to me and when i made a private appointment to see him after being told i would have to live with frequent gallstone pain for another YEAR everytime i ate SOLID food not fatty food because id already lost the weight remember ....but SOLID food....the surgeon did however say to me that he wished he could use me as an example to his other patients who wouldnt believe him that heartburn is affected by weight.
Re. the gallstones he was appalled that i should have to wait a year after making all that effort .....

5 weeks later i was on his operating table under the NHS!
Add message | Report | Message poster HelenaDove Sat 02-Apr-16 23:16:07
Before that operation i had spent months having intermittent attacks where i was rolling around on the floor or the bed in excrutiating pain every time i ate solid food. I was living on slim a soups and water biscuits and tinned salmon
while trying to hold down a ten hour a night job in a sex chatline office running from room to room answering different phones.

Every time i had a very severe attack i would have the emergency on call GP come out and give me a morphine injection. The neighbours actually said they could hear me screaming. On Xmas Eve 2002 the doc had to come out for the same reason... and on Xmas Day i couldnt stand up My legs kept giving way and i had to be taken to hospital where i was kept under observation until the morphine wore off.

A later attack came at work DH had to come and pick me up help me into the car and take me to a little local hospital where a camp and v. funny doctor who would have made me laugh if i hadnt been in so much pain gave me a box of morphine pills and told me to put one under my tongue when i felt an attack coming on.

Prior to the morphine injections i had been given tramadol which did fuck all to stop the pain and i got so desperate i was taking 2 of them an hour later 2 paracetamol then nurofen anything to stop the pain.

To this day i owe my thanks to the surgeon who did my op and the doc at the local hosp who gave me those pills.

I hope no one ever has to go through what i did

That consultant is pressuring you to lose weight far too fast.

wannabestressfree · 11/05/2016 19:42

I have a three and a half stone gastrointestinal tumour. I had a hernia repair in the same area which failed due to crohns disease and having so many fistulas and being unable to patch it.
I have been on steroids for three years. Have finally managed to reduce to 20mg from 100mg daily and on Monday was diagnosed with yet another flare up and infection.... so steroids put up and put on very strong amoxycillin. I also have a scan tomorrow.
Regardless of this and 24 ops and a colostomy no one will operate. My lungs are compromised and I feel terrible. I am too risky. St marks in harrow wanted me below 10 stone (with a heavy tumour) my skin is tearing....
So I feel your pain as I honestly think (as does my stoma nurse) that they are waiting for me to rupture or sepsis and then I have a huge chance of dying on the table....I am in my thirties. I bring up my sons by myself..I am banging my head against a brick wall......

wannabestressfree · 11/05/2016 19:54

Sorry I feel.low today and my bum is leaking which is no fun when you have a bag lol....

Booboostwo · 11/05/2016 19:59

Well done for loosing all that weight! I have diastasis recti as well after my pregnancies and hernias are one of the common complications. Can you afford a private physio programme? There are two different programmes for building up core strength, maybe one of them could help?
mutusystem.com

tummytribe.com/wp/

wannabestressfree Flowers

HelenaDove · 11/05/2016 20:00

Wannabe i am so sorry to hear this. How utterly appalling for you. Thanks

How the fuck are they telling you to lose weight when the tumour weighs over 3 stone. Angry

If a partner was telling you this and saying you should do this it would be classed as emotional abuse.

The fact that a medical professional is doing it doesnt mean it isnt abusive. Wine

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 11/05/2016 20:10

I wonder if they feel they're making weight loss more achievable by setting smaller targets, rather than asking you to go from 39 to 25 in one go?

I'd ask what the end game is. Your current target is 28 - is that the end goal, or would there be a target under that?

wannabestressfree · 11/05/2016 20:35

Thanks for the support X bad day

upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 20:49

Sorry to hear about what you are goingc through wannabe and went through Helena At least I am not in constant pain when I eat (bar those 2 scary episodes) and just have the backache to deal with.
I will do some research on physio as my concern is that with the separation issues my hernia will return
I have no idea at the minute what the Consultant thinks. Originally he said they would do op once I lost 2 stone. When I came back for follow up that morphed to 3=

OP posts:
upontheroof66 · 11/05/2016 20:53

Seriously I just reread your post wannabe They effectively want you to get down to a ridiculous weight if you take tumour into account.

OP posts: