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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to have considered a comment as intended to be sarcastic?

61 replies

lolaflores · 10/05/2016 21:31

At a day out with the family. We were sat on benches watching a horse type event. People sat beside us. After 20 minutes myself, DD and DH got up to go and look at some other things.
Lady to my right says quite loudly "Was it something we said?" as we passed.
I stopped, asked "Excuse me?"
She turned and laughed to her friend and repeated it then blushed a bit, flustered, I said no more and simply walked on followed by sniggers.
She was a woman in her 60s.
My husband didn't seem to think this was rude...at all. Something to be expected from people of that age group.
I found myself a bit non plussed as to why anyon would make such a sarcastic comment FOR NO APPARENT REASON other than to embarrass.
Am still confused by it.
Also, I didn't dig her in the chops like I wanted to.

OP posts:
CancelTheCheque · 10/05/2016 22:10

It sounds like a joke, like they were just trying to interact with you rather than offend you. I've known some nasty people have a distinct passive aggressive tone that wouldn't show in text but the blushing and getting flustered suggests she was just trying to joke with you and felt a bit awkward that it backfired?

MsVestibule · 10/05/2016 22:22

It was a lame joke, that's all! Surely you've heard it before?

acasualobserver · 10/05/2016 22:26

^

Yes, agreed, a lame (old) 'joke'. Not worth giving another thought.

Birdsgottafly · 10/05/2016 22:40

YABU, it was banter, meant as a joke.

Willow2016 · 10/05/2016 22:42

Its a normal comment for someone who leaves your company (even if they werent engaged with you)

i.e was it something I said (that made you leave)?

Purely light hearted jokey thing to say, lighten up it should have made you smile not want to deck her!

Original poster
lolaflores · 11/05/2016 00:00

I do need to feel less self concious then. I don;t like crowds and was feeling a bit hemmed in but I didn't get up in a huff or anything. Perhaps my state of mind filtered the comment into my tetchy in box.

OP posts:
ReginaBlitz · 11/05/2016 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
lolaflores · 11/05/2016 00:20

ReginaBlitz how unpleasant. Give yourself a medal.

OP posts:
Original poster
lolaflores · 11/05/2016 00:21

When I say "tetchy box" I don't mean my lady box, just to clear that up. I keep all other kinds of things in there.

OP posts:
DailyMailShite · 11/05/2016 00:33

She wasn't being rude she was making a joke. You overreacted.

I'm suprised you haven't heard it before.

JessieMcJessie · 11/05/2016 00:44

Very common joke type comment, probably as you'd only stayed for 20 minutes which is not long. It's meant to be friendly. Correct response is to say "Ho Ho, enjoy the rest of the show" and think no more of it.

Seren85 · 11/05/2016 01:02

Have you really never heard it before? Its such a common thing said entirely in passing without any meaning. Eg I turned up at the pub late due to other arrangements and my friend said oh Amy has to leave now. To which I, being ridiculous and English and whatnot replied oh something I said before saying a quick goodbye to Amy and going to get a glass of wine.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 11/05/2016 01:08

I think it's slightly odd that she felt the need to comment, but maybe she'd had a glass or two of wine/Pimms/similar.
However, it's a normalish jokey comment - and if it had been people you knew, even vaguely, I'm sure you would have taken it that way too. I suspect it's the fact that it was a complete stranger who said it to you that has caused the confusion. I think it would me as well!

MrsMushrooms · 11/05/2016 01:52

It's just a turn of phrase when people leave, it's meaningless and harmless and not at all meant to cause you any embarrassment or discomfort. I'm sure she was very surprised to get a reaction at all, rather than just a smile / acknowledgement as you walked off.

Squiff85 · 11/05/2016 06:13

Its weird but she probably thought it was funny!

LindyHemming · 11/05/2016 06:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Costacoffeeplease · 11/05/2016 06:52

It wouldn't even have registered with me - you probably embarrassed her

NicknameUsed · 11/05/2016 07:07

"When I say "tetchy box" I don't mean my lady box, just to clear that up. I keep all other kinds of things in there."

??

CreepingDogFart · 11/05/2016 07:35

Tetchy box! Grin

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 11/05/2016 07:39

I must admit, I'm not always great with 'that sort' of humour.

There's a man in a local shop where if you politely ask for something behind the counter looks at you deadpan and says 'no.'

I KNOW I don't handle it well; I laugh shrilly and fumble.

I don't go in there! Grin

I can sympathise OP, I can see myself reacting in the same way and I'm generally quite nice and sociable, not usually awkward, but "humour" like this isn't my forte, I guess.

MrsHathaway · 11/05/2016 07:47

I hate this kind of joke - I don't hear well so I don't necessarily hear properly or register that they were talking to me so my response is always crap.

Don't worry about it.

whatdoIget · 11/05/2016 07:51

It's one of those jokey comments that people make that aren't really funny. Nothing to worry about. Don't let it ruin your day and put it out of your mind.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 11/05/2016 07:52

It's a joke.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 11/05/2016 07:54

'something to be expected from people of that age group'?

Yes they make jokes like anyone else .

BertrandRussell · 11/05/2016 07:59

I'm presuming the op is in her 20s/30s. A complete absence of a sense of humour and social incompetence is just something to be expected from that age group.