Is dh being unreasonable or am I just uptight?!

[GlenBelt]

Bit of background as I feel it is relevant; had long term issues with dh's depression which resulted in heavy alcohol use and him racking up about £6000 of debt after the death of our child. He told me about it and I have given him thousands to pay it off. Now he is much better than he was but I still feel he drinks too much.

So, onto the problem. I'm on MAT leave with baby so income dramatically reduced.We have managed to get about £800 savings but are scraping by and I don't tend to treat my self so that we can save our money .He spent £40 on alcohol last week and has just brought 8 cans home because he wanted a treat and I said no to a takeaway as we need to save. He says as we now have a bit of money in the bank it shouldn't be a problem,he's happy for me to treat myself too. He thinks I'm being unreasonable and uptight for saying he shouldn't have spent money but that if he was insistent on spending it, then it should be something for all of us or it should go into savings.

I feel we've gotten into a rut where I'm still so resentful for how he has behaved so get annoyed whenever he buys alcohol as I think we should be building up our savings and he's so used to it he sees it as nagging especially as he has decreased his drinking.

I know I said I didn't want anything but that was to save money, am I being stupid or should he have used that money for all of us?

He's an alcoholic.
A classic example of one in fact.
i know plenty about his type.
he'll never change him and you'll never have anything nice.

Not all alcoholics drink daily. In fact, many binge-drinking alcoholics can go quite long periods without alcohol, but when they fall off the wagon, they fall hard and then drink obsessively during that time. This can be worse for the liver than if you drink steadily, and can result in early death (the person I know who drank in this pattern died at 40). He may not be that ill at the moment, but for sure he is alcohol-dependent, and for sure he prioritizes alcohol over pretty much everything else.

You need a bottom-line discussion about him getting treatment for depression and alcohol misuse (call it that, don't tell him he's an alcoholic as he may simply not recognize that at the moment).