To sometimes want to escape. Like to get into my car and drive far far away. Probably to a cake shop then come back.

[jimijack]

2 kids, they fight. Youngest is very very challenging at the moment.
Wanted to just walk out of aldi and leave him this morning, I felt so low and unable to cope.

He ran out of the shop while the shopping was going through the till, I ran out onto the car park after him, felt something pop in my calf then pain.
He had continuously run off all the way round the shop, screaming and fighting me to get away. Stood and wet himself, then screamed because he was wet.
I throw away plate after plate of food that he won't eat, he still comes in our bed every night. He is disobedient, a complete nightmare that everybody stares at when we go shopping
Child minder thinks he is thick, cant talk properly, doesn't know numbers/colours/shapes.
I feel crushing guilt about everything, I'm a shit parent.
He is 3. I Can't cope with him.

You are not a shit parent. The fact that you are on here worrying about him says otherwise. I really hope your childminder does not think he is "thick", if so, you need a new childminder! However, it sounds as if you and she have some concerns about his development. If you really think he is behind others children of his age generally it would be worth talking to a HV or your GP about him. There may be a reason why his behaviour is like this.

Is this new behaviour for your youngest - if behaviour's been a concern for a while it might be worth getting advice from your HV or GP.

Child minder thinks he is thick, cant talk properly, doesn't know numbers/colours/shape

I would start looking for another child minder - if this is what she is saying, she sounds unsuited to the job.

I don't know any other kids his age to compare.
My interpretation of what the childminder says about him is that he is thick.
She has not used those words.

He knows a couple of colours, counts up to 15, backwards from 5 and communicates well.
Says "tum on" instead of come on,
He won't do it for her.

He is just full on.
Other kids I see in the shop are sitting in the trolley, quiet, good. He screams he street down if I attempt to put him in the trolley, continuously climbs out, throws items across the shop from the trolley.

For you. Sounds so tough.

Do you have concerns about his development and if so are the right people involved? Communication issues can cause huge frustration and rages which are massively hard to cope with.

Can you put some strategies in place to make life a little easier for now? Online shopping as much as possible, the easiest finger foods and stuff he generally does eat...anything to make life less challenging. If you have a dp sit down and be sure you are both on the same page and look for ways to get through this.

You are not a shit parent and need support, not some cm telling you your child is thick. Hopefully she did it say that but it's the message you got.

I could of posted this thread 9 months ago, l have a nearly 4 yo (so yes still 3). Your not a shit parent you started this thread, if you were a shit parent you wouldn't care enough to post this.

3 is such a hard age, the way l got over it was l stopped telling him he was naughty and started praising his good behaviour with a ladder if he was good and got to the top of the ladder he got a treat if he wasn't he moves down the ladder. We still use it now.

Since starting nursery his speech is so much better and maybe when his speech improves his behaviour will be better.

If my sons childminder thought my son was thick, l would be finding another child minder because her attitude won't be helping your child learn.

I don't think you are being unreasonable wanting to run away to a cake shop, l have days like that too, in fact l think if most mums were honest every one craves abit of alone time when the going gets tough. You obviously work as well and sometimes it's hard to juggle every thing. Take a deep breath and sit down with some cake and think of a different approach.

Good luck......here is to dreading the teenage years.

I don't have particular concerns, I think that he is just being 3.

I'm saying that I struggle. I literally do not know what to do when he screams no to every instruction and request.

The unreasonable behavior is very draining, gets me down and makes me not want to be here.

I know, that this too shall pass. What's coming next I ask you!?

Maybe hes getting irritated because he feels he cant communicate properly? Dd was exactly the same and since starting playgroup and letting her pick what she wanted her temper and talking has improved so much. Have you tried giving him a selection of things to choose from? E.g dd cries she wants food, i take her to the kitchen, she points to the fridge or cupboard, i pick her up and she takes what she wants. I agree with praising his good behaviour and ignoring the bad (harder than it seems) what i do with dd whilst shopping is tell her before we go in that she has to be good. i also take raisons with me and tell her that if shes good whilst we are walking to the milk, bread, pasta etc.. She will get a few raisons (could be anything your dc like) it works for us, could be worth a try? Obviously if she isnt good she doesnt get anything.