To not go?

[Fluffythepantfireslayer]

During a bad patch a few years ago, DH had brief affair with one of my best friends. Horrendous fall out, she is a drinker and spilt the beans to her DH who went ballistic - our kids were bfs, so an all round almighty mess. We split but got back together, DH v repentant - she basically terrified him, after counselling we're doing well. Haven't seen OW since, sent her a message to stay away from my family and then blocked her from all communication. An exceptionally manipulative woman who scared the shit out of DH with her bunny boiler antics and I honestly think we came out of it lightly. Anyway. Big event coming up, nothing to do with her, but she's going and I feel sick. Part of me wants to front it out, but both her and her DH are loose cannons, big drinkers and I think it could get messy. My DH says he'll respect whatever I want to do, but having retained my dignity throughout the whole debacle I'd like to keep it and not go. Or is that a cop out ?

Don't go and save yourself the drama.
I think you've been given a bit of a hard time on this thread and I think it is really encouraging that you and your DH have tried to work through this and I wish you the best of luck.

'Not overly fussed' (about going). Don't even give it a second thought then! Silly Moose! RSVP and forget about it.

I'm with some of the pp - book yourself a lovely night/weekend away. Have something to look forward to and treat yourself when you are away. If you can't afford to go away get someone to look after the kids for the evening and have a cosy night in with a takeaway and a bottle of wine.

I apologise if I have come across as giving you a hard time.

We can only respond to the OP and the way it is written - and that comes across as describing the OW (and her OH who is an equal victim) as nutters.

I have been in your situation OP and it's not an easy road back I know. My situation was different the OW was not someone I knew and I only became aware of her when she found out about my existence and contacted me on FB. It was my OH who I blamed because he has made a commitment to me.

I had a conversation with the OW (after the dust had settled and the bitchy messages from her and her mates had stopped) and it actually gave me closure and made me feel a lot better about it and my feelings of anger and jealously have gone now.

Obvs am not suggesting that you should do this at the event (or go) and your feelings with be different as she was your best friend.

I wouldn't go and I wouldn't give it any more thought.

So don't go.

Cutecat78 your experience sounds a lot worse, how awful for you. Planning not to go, and will do something lovely with DH and dcs instead

It would have been worse if it was my BF

Don't. Go.

All you will do is drag up old horrible emotions that you have been putting behind you both, it isn't worth it