To be upset?

[danieladarling]

My beautiful goddaughter has passed away. GD was so lovely. Her mum is refusing to see me. She's one of my best friends. I just want to help her. My best friend's mum is saying that she doesn't want to see me because I still have DD2 and GD is gone. AIBU to feel hurt? I know I probably am but I just want to help her.
For GD, our darling.

[Post edited by MNHQ to removed names]

Please ask for this to be removed - it's totally inappropriate. Your poor friend

With respect, this is not about you.

It sounds like you want to support her for your own reasons, not because that's what she needs. The best way to help her is to put aside your own wants, and respect her wishes.

You could read this article about circles of support.

It is terribly sad that this little girl has died. But it is not really appropriate to name her on a public forum.

How would you know if her mum reads Mumsnet? Other family members or friends might see it. I agree that you should report and ask for the name to be removed.

Getting your god daughters name taken off was a good move op.

I was thinking about this today. When my dc died it was the very worst thing that ever happened to me, however it was also the worst thing that happened to other people who were close to me.

The people I ended up blocking from my life were those who used me and my pain to make them feel better, those who compared their feelings to mine, those who didn't get that, although they were suffering a loss that mine was so, so much worse.

When your child dies you can't be rational, nothing is rational anymore.

Your friend needs to not be around you just now, I know you feel like you need to be around her to be part of this, but the worst thing you can do is push it. Her choices regarding her child have all been taken away, let her make some choices now.

The best thing you can do for her is to message saying you will be there for her whether it's in in a week, a year or 10 years, whenever she is ready and then go and find someone who is there to support you through this time.

Take care op