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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed my husband has hurt his back.

29 replies

Originalfoogirl · 07/05/2016 09:15

Our daughter is 7 and on Saturdays goes to a music group for children with disabilities. It's 30 miles away, and lasts three hours. It's a bit of a PITA for us, and when we are there, we basically have to sit around waiting for 3 hours, seeing her in between music sessions.

Up until last week, we all went together until we though that was a bit of a waste of time so decided we'd take her alone, taking week about.

On Thursday Mr Foo said he'd take her this week because he knew this week was a bad "time" for me - crampy, menstrual, irritable etc.

So I looked forward to lazing in bed.

Yesterday he had the day off, and in cleaning out the garage he hurt his back (again!). I did all the sympathy, massage, gave him heat packs etc. And he lay of the sofa all evening. I pointed out how this will make it worse, he needed to keep moving.

lol and behold, I get woken early by my daugher, asking me if I can take her to group because Mr Foos back is too sore.

Sooo annoyed. Should I be?

OP posts:
katemiddletonsnudeheels · 07/05/2016 10:43

I injured my back three months ago (disc prolapse) and i still struggle to do everything I want to.

Groovee · 07/05/2016 10:46

Back pain is more horrific for me than my periods which I am now getting help for. I struggle to move and live on high amounts of painkillers. Sometimes life sucks but we have to get on with it.

Originalfoogirl · 07/05/2016 11:20

Thanks ladies, some great responses. I've had a couple of coffees and feel a bit more human now, that along with the verbal slapping has put me right 😀

RaeSkywalker I did offer last night, he said no he'd take her. He was insistent, but I guess this morning when he nearly had to call me for help he realised it would be too much for him.

Bringiton2016. I'm the same. He is so strong and capable, I'm not used to seeing him totally out of action. On the flip side, he is the same when I am floored by cramps and stuff. We generally just get on with these sorts of things, and being ill. I can deal with most pain / illnesses by just working through it, but I do get really bad cramps, usually accompanied by blinding headaches, which last a couple of days. Some months it's not so bad. Thankfully, it seems to be a "less pain for longer" month this time. 😄

DoreenLethal. He doesn't have for for hurty backs when he is needed, but recently he seems to be injuring it more, so I am starting to think there may be a problem with his back. Or maybe it's just that we are getting older and forgetting we aren't 20 any more. He is a big strong lad, so he does lots of physical stuff.

Kariana. I do understand the want to lie down, and to be fair, I actually didn't know that was the advice for cramps so I wasn't ignoring that advice at all. Given he likely doesn't now that either, I hardly think it's throwing it in his face. Now you've told me, I'll give it a try. Thanks.

Hurryup2016. Maybe the feeling is frustration, or maybe it's irritation, or annoyance. I'm not sure how any is worse than another.

CigarsofthePharoahs I think it's the self inflicted bit that annoyed me. And we both need to exercise more. It's also that these things always seem to happen at the worst times. Not his fault but just bad luck. And since I rarely plan things, because I hate planned things changing last minute, it annoys me more when I do and it goes wrong!

On the man v woman stuff. We have no man/woman roles. We have tall / short roles. I struggle with a wheeliebin, he's not great at cleaning shower trays. We work to strengths and weaknesses, it just so happens ours tend to fall into the "blue job/ pink job" category. He does the bulk of the weekly cooking as he is home first. He baths Abby as I can't get her in or out the bath any more.

One other point would be that dealing with a child with a disability can be really tough, and respite is hard to come by. A few hours on a Saturday to not have to deal, is really appealing. But, as others have said, there is always next week!

The best thing about this thread, and all your lovely and not so lovely replies is, it has filled in the first session nicely. She's just back from her singing lesson with a huge smile. Time for jam donuts before guitar lesson 😄

Thanks all, I knew I could count on you to put me in the right head place. 🌷🌷🌷

OP posts:
Oly5 · 07/05/2016 11:58

That's the spirit Original! There's always next week Smile

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