To make DD9 invite her BF to her birthday celebration

[Envigi]

We're currently expecting DC2 and I have been all over the place trying to get everything ready and get as much done at work before my maternity leave starts.

So I left DD's birthday planning all up to DH, and they've decided to go out to Chessington for the day with 2 friends from school.

I naturally assumed one of those friends would be DD's best friend, they're unbelievably close, we've taken BF out on numerous occasions and her family have taken DD out as well.

But I've just looked over DD's invite's and it's for 2 other girls, one is a close friend and the other is a new girl who started this term, I'm suppose to bring the invites along to pick up today so DD can hand them out but I don't really think I should, not without finding out why DD hasn't invited BF.

3 is a terrible number as has been pointed out. That alone without any of this friendship drama is unreasonable.

This happened in a friendship group (chessington as well) my DD was in, the child invited 2 out of three of a tight friendship group and another girl from another group. My DD was one of the invited but they felt awful and guilty for the one left out and the group splintered and the birthday child suffered the most. I think she was trying to impress a girl she saw as more popular.

I thought I was overreacting and now everyone has me worried.

The number is all down to DH, I'll try and convince him to add an extra when he gets home for the all reasons everyone's provided but do I automatically give that spot to BF or take a chance and hope DD picks her.

I would add bf to the party. I wouldn't just hope dd picks her. I wouldn't be ok with my child treating a good friend like this and I would personally tell my dd that if she wants to put some distance between them and spend time with other friends that is ok but suddenly leaving bf out of a big event with no warning is very hurtful.

I wouldn't make my child invite someone who had been bullying them or who they weren't particular friends with but if she has been happy to go for sleepovers with her recently it doesn't sound like it would affect her adversely to invite bf.

I would feel that by allowing the non invite I was giving the ok to suddenly dropping a friend in a hurtful, public way.

I think you need to have a talked with her about friendships and kind ness and find out why she isn't picking her best friend. And spell out the consequences. Ie it could end ten friendship permanently.

However forcing her to take this child could end up as a disaster if she genuinely doesn't want her there. I can imagine the aibu 'my Dd was invited out for the day by her best friend for the best friend birthday. Friends dad took them and 2 other girls. Dd says they didn't do anything mean but it was clear the other three didn't really want her there. Should I speak to parents too bad what's going on?'

Personally I hate the idea of best friends. Yes some friends are better than others. But best friends becomes and obligation and quite possessive.

The girl Dd is better friends with, she doesn't spend a lot of time with. But over the years they have always kept in touch and there for eachother when things get stressed at secondary. I am really glad her group seem to have dropped the need to have a 'best friend'.