To hide pregnancy from manager

[AlwaysShopping]

My line manager left my company 4 weeks ago, I have been signed off with pregnancy related sickness for 6 weeks this week. This means I have to report sickness to one of the executives as my line managers role is unfilled. The executive is known to be sexist and avoids recruiting women into the company. Men are offered all promotions. He has openly complained infront of people when he finds out that female staff are pregnant.

I have only communicated via email thus far with the executive as he wouldn't give me his work number only for his EA who never answers, I have been signed off for 3 more weeks as of yesterday. I have had lots of emails from staff at my company asking what is wrong etc. I don't feel comfortable telling the executive the reason. Staff have also emailed me saying that people are talking about me being off and can't understand what is wrong. Also suggesting I have mental illness ( if I did so what ?! and now I really don't feel like returning to this company as no one has actually asked if I am ok ... Normal in other places I have worked). Also if it was something very seriously wrong with my health I feel the company's profit loss would come before my illness. The executive accused me of lying about being unwell to others before I provided my certificates.

Is it unreasonable to just send in my sick note? And to hide my pregnancy untill the policy states? I am only 7 weeks at present. I have had nightmares worrying about this but not sure if I am not being professional by keeping back the reason for being off. I also think they may try to redeploy me once I tell them I am pregnant as my role is very demanding and needs a lot of focus.

I'd tell them. The sooner you tell them, the sooner the (unprofessional) speculating ceases and you are protected.

Anything you tell HR would be confidential, even more so if you explained that the reason you were telling them was because of the Exec's attitude to pregnant women.

What I suggested is actually policy where I work.

I would ring HR and ask to speak in confidence about it and check whether your pregnancy sickness can be 're-coded' as pregnancy related at a later point.

If it can (I'm afraid I have no experience of that particular scenario) then you are probably right that it's best to keep quiet.

I'm only just coming to end of my own pregnancy sickness so absolutely feel for you! Slightly beside the point, I found cyclizine worked well after about 9 weeks (before that even on the highest dose I was completely incapacitated).

I'll say firstly that where I work now my HR are great and treat confidential conversations as just that and are really supportive and professional.
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However I'd be wary of speaking to HR and expecting confidentiality in a company where the exec seemingly gets away with such poor treatment and open discrimination.
I once raised a query (definitely not a complaint just wanted some info about my job that my boss couldn't / wouldn't tell me and our relationship was breaking down)I emailed HR but asked for it to be kept confidential. Not only did they not do this, they rang around the business trying to track down my boss and telling colleagues it was related to an email id sent while not actually responding or achknowleding my email to me at all.

The first response I got was from another manager sitting me down to give me an update on my job and opening with the words "so I know you've contacted HR..." Piss poor on all fronts.

If I were you I'd stop looking at emails from colleagues and just keep sending in your sick notes remotely, your exec clearly doesn't want to take on a line manager role with you and isn't bothered about building that relationship so why give him that personal info.

It's a risk because of its guessed and they manoeuvre you now they can claim it's not discrimination and
There are certain protections you will get from revealing your pregnancy but it sounds like the place you work sail close to wind on ignoring those based on what you said and you know your work place best.

If you have hyperemesis, I'd just tell them.

If they're going to be dicks about absence regardless, tell them asap and get the legal protection.

You do not need to tell them.

I'd tell them, you'd only have to tell the one senior person and make a request that nobody else finds out yet.
Especially if you think you will be off with pregnancy sickness even longer, I don't see a problem with just telling them.
Your clearly worrying over telling them or not, why give yourself stress over it.

Tell them so you are covered by pregnancy law. If you keep handing in sick notes with no real information as to what is wrong they could start disciplinary actions.

Had you told your old manager before they left or had they only seen sicknotes not mentioning pregnancy too?

They're not entitled to know anything other than the fact the OP is sick until she's 24 weeks. She has no legal obligation to tell them until then. Sick notes don't have to specify that the illness is pregnancy related either, eg it can say 'severe sickness and dehydration' with no mention of pregnancy.

OP, even though it's on record with the GP, you don't get legal protection from discrimination until you've informed them.

Even if the PA is not picking up her phone, email her, keep them informed. Even if not with the full story. I suspect they may well have guessed that you're pregnant anyway. If I was you I would tell them to get the legal protection, they can't hold time off in pregnancy against you.

Thanks for the responses, for now I have decided not to tell him. The poster who said he hasn't made an effort to make any rapport hit the nail on the head. This is exactly how I feel like why should I be so honest when he has made NO effort to engage with me. My previous line manager didn't know before he left. I hope I will get better in three weeks, if not I may rethink but even then I may just speak to HR. I feel sad that so many women must go through this treatment !

Your call.

But to be honest I think good communication is the key to most things. No-one knows what's wrong with you, and you are being evasive about it. Not sure how that helps with communication in the longer term.

I wouldn't tell them yet. 1. They sound like a bunch of untrustworthy bastards. 2. You can't un-tell them if you regret it.

Good luck with pregnancy and hope you feel better soon.

And I agree good communication is important, but it's a 2 way thing - if you're communicating with a sexist bigot there is no point handing them 'ammunition'.

But is it not even more important, if dealing with a sexist bigot, to make sure you have the protection of the law? What if they suspect, and try to dismiss the OP or make her redundant before she tells them?