What happens when one nacissist is trying to deal with another?

[TattyCat]

Lots of threads about narcissism, but none appear to address what happens when one is trying to out-narcissism the other. We all know the traits and how to deal with it but what if you are one yourself? So, two people only concerned for their welfare?

But I feel like I've picked up facets of her personality and they're hard to ignore! I love her to bit, but I feel devastated that I can't make things better, and meanwhile, she's treating me like an inconvenience. I'm sure she doesn't mean to and she can be really caring but I've not seen a lot of that since my DF died in Aug 2014. Life is shit and I can't change or fix it, whatever I do. I'm bloody 47 years old and feeling like a fucking child!!

I've tried to get my mum to go places for a long weekend, or during the week because she's said that it's a shame her sisters aren't the 'adventurous' kind because they are free all week. So am I and I've said I'd love to go somewhere for the week, but when it comes to it she's always 'unwell' or her back hurts, or she's feeling faint or.. or ...or.. just any excuse. If it's raining it's shit and if the sun comes out... well.. she'd have been doing something with my DF, wouldn't she? Except she wouldn't. They were occasions, not every week.

It feels like she doesn't actually like me or want me to visit. She says it's nice to have 'someone around' but it's awful when I leave and makes it worse. What do I do?!

If they are both true narcs they would not even be in each other's orbit

Narcs depend on non-narcs for their supply

They recognise a like minded individual and stay clear. It's like protons repelling each other, it's not even conscious

there's nothing you can do. I totally understand. I'm commenting from 39 years of experience of this and I really really understand how you feel. You can't fix it and it just leaves you helpless and lost. I'm lucky in one sense because my mother did something so awful that it made the break for me. I made the choice to end our relationship because I was damned if I'd put my children at risk to feed her need. You're not there yet, lots of people just like us aren't either, you may never be. My mother's not a pure narcissist she's bpd with a really strong narcissistic element. She leaves people in her wake when they serve no purpose to her. That includes me. She has no interest in anyone unless she can manipulate and general them. That's why I said I don't think two proper narcs would engage. Have you ventured on to the stately homes thread?

Control, not "general".

What do you get out of helping her?

What stops you from drawing a line and moving on with your life?