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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is discrimination?

47 replies

shiveringhiccup · 04/05/2016 18:18

I'll try and keep it brief - long time lurker but first post so I want to get it right for all you lovely MNers!

I have a 3mo DC. I've been offered some short term work (for about 2 weeks). It's all done remotely on the computer, hence why I applied for it.

However now I've been accepted for the work, I've found out that they expect me to do a training day. I emailed them and explained that I have a 3mo who is EBF and asked if there are any facilities for me to bring the baby (to be fair I should have been clearer - I meant is there baby changing etc so I can sit in the training with DC with me).

They replied and said there are no childcare facilities and that it wouldn't be ok for me to bring DC with me so what I should do is turn down the work.

Is this allowed??! I totally understand that they might not want to have a baby in the room while they're doing the training, but I thought that by law there's some protection there, especially because DC is EBF?

OP posts:

TwoLittleBlooms · 04/05/2016 19:09

Is there no one who can help, for example to bring baby in for feeds? As far as I am aware whilst they don't have to provide childcare facilities they do have to provide you with a private place to express (or feed your baby) by failing to provide you with that then yes they are being discriminatory. I know for a fact that they have to provide you with at least somewhere to express and the time to do so (and can't be deducted from normal legal breaks) as I had to express for my baby for 8 months so looked into it before returning to work and I believe the same rule applies for direct feeding of an infant.

snototterly · 04/05/2016 19:09

Presumably you couldn't do the 2 week job without child care, so not unreasonable of the employer to think you could attend a training session without your child.

TheSolitaryBoojum · 04/05/2016 19:10

My two were EBF, but they also used to have BM from a bottle with a feeding spout (Neither of them coped with teats) Is that an option?

Biscuitsneeded · 04/05/2016 19:12

Could you express some milk and then arrange for whoever was going to look after your child to bring your baby to you in the lunch break for a feed? Not ideal I know but to sacrifice 2 weeks of work for the sake of one day is tough.

Original poster

shiveringhiccup · 04/05/2016 19:18

Emerald Honestly? I suppose I imagined DC on my knee cooing happily while all my colleagues chuckled fondly.

OP posts:

Original poster

shiveringhiccup · 04/05/2016 19:21

Snototterly I wouldn't need childcare for the work, it would completely fit around DC.

Gileswithachainsaw That's a good idea, I'll ask. Worth a try!

OP posts:

EmeraldEars · 04/05/2016 19:24

Ach d'you know it's one of these things that you think is ok until it's pointed out it's not. It's a good idea to try and do the training remotely. Or would expressing be an option for you at all, completely understandable if not.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 04/05/2016 19:25

We're not allowed babies being cared for on site for liability reasons but we do allow babies to be bought on to be fed somewhere safe, and provide somewhere clean and safe for mum to express/feed. We'll also provide extra breaks if they are needed.

There's no way we'd have a baby in training, though. Everyone would be distracted before they'd even started!

If you want the work, I'd try and find a way to go without DC to show flexibility and reinforce the relationship.

Skittlesss · 04/05/2016 19:27

Who would look after baby whilst you're working? I can work from home, but not allowed to do it if kids are at home (and no other adult watching them).

Original poster

shiveringhiccup · 04/05/2016 19:28

Lol yes now I think about it, it's a ridiculous idea. Oh well. Good thing I didn't fire off an email before consulting AIBU! Tbh expressing isn't really an option but it's definitely worth a try asking to do it remotely.

OP posts:

AuntJane · 04/05/2016 19:32

The employer's insurance would not cover the baby being on site.

EmeraldEars · 04/05/2016 19:33

Go for it. Fingers crossed they can accommodate.

MrsHathaway · 04/05/2016 19:37

I worked from home with baby DC3 from when he was 10 weeks old to about 10 months, when he started at nursery.

It was flexible hours, though, so when he needed attention I stopped working and fed/changed him. I did most of my hours in the evenings iirc. On the face of it this short contract could be similar.

Three months post natal is still in the slightly unrealistic stage really.

OP, are you on ML? It's unusual to be looking for work so soon after the baby is born. If you are employed and on ML then I don't think you're allowed to take paid work elsewhere (happy to be told I'm wrong, but that's my understanding). If you're not currently employed, are you receiving MA? I'm pretty sure paid work would stop MA too.

AyeAmarok · 04/05/2016 20:04

Honestly? I suppose I imagined DC on my knee cooing happily while all my colleagues chuckled fondly.

Awww bless you.

PPie10 · 04/05/2016 20:05

How do you think everyone else who's bf manage? Did you really, really think everyone brought their children to work? You definitely got it wrong on this one.

WriteforFun1 · 04/05/2016 20:46

Op that is not really what you imagined, you're just yanking my chain....right?

DaveCamoron · 04/05/2016 20:53

Yes YABU but you seem to have accepted that, I sometimes run training courses and if someone turned up with a baby I'd tell them to leave.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 04/05/2016 21:24

Lol, I think it's cute you thought everyone would just be cooing over your baby!

Amummyatlast · 04/05/2016 21:38

MrsHathaway you are allowed to do self-employed work while on mat leave/pay.

winchester1 · 05/05/2016 04:27

Tbh i have attended a conference with my six week old and it was as you imagined. Him on my lap and everyone asking to hold him.
But that was my existing employer and at a hotel so a bit diff.

MrsHathaway · 05/05/2016 10:01

Thanks amummy - OP doesn't say that this is self-employed though.

Original poster

shiveringhiccup · 05/05/2016 11:25

MrsHathaway I'm on MA. Unfortunately I had to start my MA early so I haven't got long left and I'm panicking slightly! With MA you're allowed to do 10 days of work, they call it Keeping In Touch days.

Right, I'm going to slink off in embarrassment now!! Thanks again all, you have saved me an email I would have regretted

OP posts:

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