To not trust 'the snip'?

[myNameChangedName]

My OH has had the snip. He passed (or failed - depending on how you look at it) the post-snip tests.

We have 2 children. Both of which were very planned neither of us want more.

Our safe sex has always been condoms. They've never failed but when we stopped using them (twice) I was pregnant within the month.

My DH was delighted at the idea of unsafe(?) sex but I can't help but worry about an unwanted pregnancy and so far we've still used condoms. He's complained or mentioned it a little, but not anything like the kind of thing that needs 'LTB, it's your body' type replies. He's very responsible and would never try to pressure me into anything but there is tangible disappointment.

AIBU to still use contraception?

YABU! He's done everything he should, ie tests etc, so the odds are MASSIVELY against you getting pregnant.

I think you should stop other contraception now.

OH had his done 20 years ago, best decision ever.

Enjoy!

But it isn't about 'should' is it?

For what it's worth, we aren't arguing and he understands. Like I said, he's disappointed but nothing more / worse.

Did you find it strange the first time you stopped contraception?

I can understand your worries OP, I had a coil fitted but still don't trust it even though it's something like 99% effective.

I'm not sure what the solution is really!
I should be able to not use condoms but would be constantly worrying I was pregnant so tend to use them.

If the tests came back ok then you should be fine, but I imagine I'd feel just the same as you in this situation!

I think he can pay to have a yearly sperm test.

Tbh I felt the same. Having nearly died after having my last baby, I was terrified of dh being the rare one that healed.

I am back on contraception as when I came off it, I started having pcos symptoms. It was confirmed I do have pcos and gone back on it for those symptoms. I do feel much better that we have two forms of contraception.

Condoms are statistically less effective than a vasectomy. I think you're being unreasonable and pretty rotten to your dh who has undergone surgery only for you to disregard it.

I do understand where you are coming from, but I am with CaptainCrunch.

My DH had the snip over 12 years ago now. I did worry about it a little at first, but you have to relax. There is no point in someone having surgery for the purposes of contraception if you are going to ignore it and carry on as before.

Pay for additional sperm tests if you are that worried.

I (as in only me) haven't used contraception for over 10 years so there's no worry that stopping anything will cause side effects.

"I think you're being unreasonable and pretty rotten to your dh who has undergone surgery only for you to disregard it."

Perhaps and I appreciate the opinion. My husband is just as against another child as I am. This wasn't just for me. We were extremely practical as to when / why etc to TTC and are equally honest that with 2 DCs, we're done.

We both giggled at how icky sex seemed when TTC as opposed to keeping it all 'contained'. Yes, I have the maturity of a teenager at times!

I've been around for a while but it's the first time I've started a thread. I've realised how easy it it to:

Poster = AIBU?
Everyone = yes
Poster = but... um.. I don't think I am
Everyone = but you are
Poster... ..... etc

Lol, you're alright op .

And I remember after I got sterilized thinking it was all so much cleaner using condoms

Have your tubes clipped - day procedure

I can understand how you feel op , my dh had the snip 10 yrs ago after our last child was born. For a good while afterwards I was nervous about having 'unprotected ' sex even though he passed the tests, it just felt weird after so many years of bring careful. Honestly it was only after a few months of not getting pregnant that I started to believe it . You need to just accept it's safe and go for it , it will become the new normal and you wonder why you waited so long ;) .

Agree with PP - have tubes clipped. He has done enough.

BUT - your body and if you don't want sex without condoms and he does then you have to agree to disagree and abstain.

Well it's not your fear of getting pregnant be side that's very rare op I think it's more the totally pain of sperm leaking all over the place. It's a pain and I get you.

Could you go some days with and some without?